Okay this is a bit weird. I walk nonchalantly into the living room and can't find him. I walk upstairs towards his story-chair and still can't find him. So I decide to go pounding on the front door to see if he'll let me out… if not I'll just slam through the screen like I always threaten to do.
Five minutes later I've already resorted to using the screen method and I've found my Mort: he was in the front yard near the driver thing… with another dog! That good for nothing bastard! With another dog!
"C'mere, Chico," he calls to me as he pets the little white ball of fluff. "We've got a new friend," he says. C'mere, Chico, I think, Like nothing's going on! Traitor! I made a note to myself to pee in his shoes later. Just to appease him I walked over to him and the stupid ball of fluff, looking up innocently. I am dripping cuteness… but it's not freaking working! He's still petting the marshmallow chick.
"Her name's Minnie," he said with a smile as he lifted Ms. Marshmallow and walked inside with her before kicking his shoes off. He held the door open with his foot and let me walk in too. Good or else I would've had to bite his cheating ass if he didn't. I couldn't bear to bite my Mort, but when he starts cheating on me with a new dog then things could get a little ugly. Another note: go out in the rain tonight and wipe it all over his nice diamond sweater. Hey while he's not looking… his shoes are not on… heheheh…
"C'mere, Minnie," Mort says as he picks up Ms. Marshmallow and places her on his lap while he sits at his story desk. This is an outrage! An absolute outrage!
"Mort!" I shout at him.
"Whatsa matter?" He asks as he leans down and pets my head. I purposely sneeze on him. Dog slime. It's a good weapon.
"You cheatin' fool!" I call out.
"Chico, shhh. What are you barking at?" He asks without even looking at me. He's staring at his glowing clicky thing that he could sit in front of for hours.
"You!" I answer him. "Listen to meeeeee!" I add in a howl at the end.
"Chico!" He scolds as he places Ms. Marshmallow down and waves a finger at me.
Bite me, I think, unless you want me to bite you that is… I'm gonna kill him… I think as I walk over to my story chair that I always sit in when he's clicking away without another thought. It still smells like Amy. I kind of miss Amy. But not that much. Mort is much more fun sometimes when he mutters to himself and swats at nothing in particular. He's also really funny when he drops glass jars of random foods onto the floor and I get to sneak a taste of it before he comes rushing out with his shoes on and cleans it up. Amy never dropped anything. I like Mort better.
I look up right before jumping onto my chair and see, who? None other than Ms. Freaking Marshmallow all curled up in my chair! That son of a little ohhhh…. She's such a ooooh. I'll kill her… I'll rip her throat and… she's kinda cute when she just sits there and stares thought. Her eyes are brown. I like brown. Mort's eyes are brown too. But they're boy brown. Ms. Marshmallow's are girl brown. I like girl brown. She has a little black nose too. I like little black noses. And her fur is really clean. I think at least. My eyes are getting bad but I gotta ask her where she bought that sweet fur coat of hers. I like white fur coats. Maybe I can share the chair… just for now. And only for tonight. Then she sleeps on the couch. Just tonight. Only, just, ONLY for tonight.
"Chico!" I shouted at my old dog, who was having his way with my new dog. I have to admit Minnie didn't seem to mind all that much. I always knew he liked her. Hey, why are my shoes all wet?