Living in New York City is amazing but what makes it even more amazing is when you have your best friends there with you. Santana Lopez moved to NYC after she graduated high school with her two friends Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel. They all moved in together and it has stayed that way ever since. Their apartment is big enough where they have their own space and if they want time alone to think or whatever, they have a place to do it. Over the years they have made new friends from either work or college and that's how they became friends with Quinn Fabray. Santana met Quinn while she worked in a small coffee shop which she no longer works in. Quinn worked there at the time and still does work there but when they met, they instantly clicked. After a few weeks of working together, Santana and Quinn became super close which led to Santana inviting her round to the apartment where she then met Rachel and Kurt. It was surprising to them how close they all became. When they first met Quinn, she was a pretty hard one to figure out but after a while she opened up to them and it was like they had been friends for years and not weeks. She fit perfectly well into their group and made it easier for Santana. As much as she loved her friends, Rachel's obsession with Broadway and Barbra Streisand and Kurt's insane fashion fetish often got on her nerves. Kurt and Rachel were more like each other than she was so a lot of the times they could talk about things that Santana either had no interest in or didn't know enough about to join in on the conversation. Quinn was more like her, they shared a lot of the same interests and yes they could be bitches at times and got into a lot of arguments but they always seen past it because they found comfort in each other for a lot of different things. They became best friends. Santana was the first person Quinn told about her teenage pregnancy and how she had her baby adopted which turned into a cry fest but Santana was there for her with a tub of ice-cream and a bunch of soppy movies to take her mind off it. She spent that night with Quinn, holding the girl while she cried and let it all out. In that moment, they grew closer than ever and Kurt and Rachel still didn't know. Quinn wasn't ashamed of it or anything like that, she just didn't like to talk about it because she knew she would get upset and didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. In turn, Quinn was the first person Santana told about her confusion towards her sexuality. Albeit, she was drunk and isn't even sure if Quinn remembers because she was drunk too and they haven't spoken about it since but it just felt good for Santana to talk to someone about it. She knew if she had spoken to Rachel and Kurt about it, they would probably make a big deal of it and make it seem bigger than it was when she still wasn't sure what it meant. She trusted them and all and with Kurt being gay and Rachel having two gay dads, it wouldn't be a problem but she didn't want to tell anyone before she knew what it meant herself. She's still not sure what any of it means. All of her life, she has been with men but looking back, she doesn't think that she was attracted to any of them or even fell in love with any of them. They were nice guys and stuff but there was always just something missing. Like a spark, chemistry, a connection. When she goes out to clubs, a lot of guys hit on her. A lot of them. She knows she's hot but she doesn't feel anything for any of them. The guys that she hooks up with is simply because she is either a) horny as hell, b) feeling lonely or c) to keep up with the image of herself that she has created over the years. It doesn't help that when they go out, Rachel and Kurt are always in her ear trying to set her up with every guy in sight. She knows they only do it because the both of them have boyfriends and want her to get one but she doesn't want one. When she confided in Quinn, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders even though she didn't say a lot or confirm anything.
They had been drinking in Quinn's apartment. Rachel and Kurt had went to some Broadway show or something and Santana and Quinn didn't want to go and both had the night of work, so they decided to open some wine, order some food and watch crappy TV that they weren't going to watch. They were in the middle of a conversation, well Quinn had been talking about something that Santana can't even remember now but while she was talking, Santana interrupted her without even thinking.
"Quinn, I think I like girls", she slurred. Quinn stopped talking mid-sentence and just looked at Santana. "I like girls too Santana, it's a great show but did you have to interrupt me while I'm telling you how hot Justin Timberlake looked in Friends With Benefits just to tell me." Santana remembers now that when Quinn started to talk about Justin Timberlake in that movie her mind drifted off to how hot Mila Kunis was in that movie and how she spent most of the time watching it thinking that and how she even questioned herself during the movie as to why she wasn't thinking the same about Justin Timberlake, he was a good-looking guy but she was more interested in the good-looking girl. That's when she started to think to herself that she spends a lot more time looking a women than she does men and when she sees a good looking guy, it doesn't faze her, she acknowledges that she's nice looking but feel anything else and doesn't want anything else but when she looks at a woman, she gets these feelings all over her body, like nerves or excitement or both. The more she thought about it, the more she started to wonder that maybe the reason she didn't feel anything towards the guys that she had been with or any other guy for that matter was because she wasn't attracted to men at all. Maybe the reason why she looks at women more than men is because she finds women more attractive than men and has been denying herself of this for her whole life. All of these revelations in her head weren't new to her. She had thought of these things before but she had never let herself get to the point of believing that it could actually be true, that she could actually be gay. In that moment, she had to tell someone, she had to get this off her chest. Maybe if she said it aloud, it would make more sense to her. If she admitted to herself that maybe there was a chance that she was into girls, everything would change, she knew that but something inside her knew that she had to speak to someone about this and that's when she told Quinn. "No Quinn, I think I like girls", she repeated in the hopes that Quinn would realise what she was trying to say. Quinn's face didn't change and she just shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal, "Ok, what's the problem with that?" she asked her and for a few moments Santana didn't know what the problem was and then. "It's not who I am. I've always been with men, I like men." It's like everything changed, she couldn't admit this, everything would change, and her whole life would become completely different. "Well, you could like men and women, or you could be curious or maybe you're confused. I don't know what's going on inside that head of yours but I know one thing. It's okay to be who you are." Quinn was staring into Santana's eyes to make her believe every word she was saying but Santana was avoiding her and looking down into her lap. As if nothing had happened, Santana shot her head up and stood "More wine?" she asked with the biggest fake smile anyone could put on their face. Quinn saw straight through her but she understands that Santana doesn't want to talk about it anymore and that she wouldn't force her too so she just nodded with a small smile and that was the end of that. Once Santana returned from the kitchen with two new glasses filled with wine, she changed the topic completely as if the once a few minutes ago didn't happen. They haven't spoken about it since and neither of them will bring it up again unless Santana wants to which she doesn't so for now, the conversation is being avoided but both of them know that it won't last forever and eventually they will talk about it again.
It's been a few weeks since that night and both of them have carried on as normal. Nothing has changed which makes Santana wonder that if she does want to talk about it again or she wants to 'come out' will anything change. Maybe not on Quinn's part because she already knows that there's a possibility and she seems totally cool. It's the thought of telling people who have known her for most of her life that she's not who they think she is that scares her the most. One thing that she doesn't want to happen is her friends acting differently around her. For now, she's going to avoid the thoughts going on her head and carry on her life in the way that she always has but will it be that easy?