Stark's World 5: You Me and Szayel
Harribel: You have to get rid of him. Ever since we came back from the grocery store he hasn't left.
Stark: I don't like it either but we can't just kick him out, he's like a brother to me.
Harribel: No he isn't, not once have you've spoken to him, not once since yesterday. Anyway all he's done since his stay was sit on that couch, watched T.V. and eaten all of our food. I want him out, now!!
Szayel: Hey you guys are out of pecan sandies; get your fatass to the store already Harribel. (Leaves room)
Harribel: I'm not fat, am I fat Stark?
Stark: No, no, of course not (mumbles) maybe a little jogging here and there.
Harribel: What?
Stark: Nothing don't worry about it, listen go to the store buy some more food, some candles, and some lotion I promise Szayel will be gone when you get back and then we can spend some time together.
Harribel: Okay, thanks babe (walks away).
Stark: (stares at Harribel's ass) Damn that's a fatass.
Szayel: Hey Stark check this out!
Stark: Szayel we have to talk
Szayel: Hang on check this out, I'm watching American Choppers. I'm really digging this Paul Teutul guy, he looks like a walrus but yells like a man.
Paul Teutul Sr.: Hey Jr. Hurry up and get that bike running!
Paul Teutul Jr.: Hey dad check me out, don't I look cool on this bike (falls off bike).
Paul Teutul Sr.: You stupid stupid idiot!
Stark: Come on Szayel, we have to talk. You've stayed here for a while now and I think it's time for you to find a new place to live.
Szayel: Stark, when did your balls fall off?
Stark: What!?
Szayel: Oh I'm just saying, you sure are bending over backwards for Harribel. I guess she's wearing the pants in the relationship.
Stark: Whoa hang on there, listen me and Harribel are equal in this relationship, no one controls the other.
Szayel: Keep telling yourself that old Starky boy, but you know its true. What do you want to do right now?
Stark: Well I'm feeling kinda tired, I could use a nap.
Szayel: Good go take a nap and just let all your troubles go away and I promise you that I'll be gone when you wake up.
Stark: Well (yawn) okay then, as long as you leave I guess Harribel won't mind, see ya (leaves)
Szayel: Oh Lilynette come here please.
Lilynette: What do you want?
Szayel: I have an idea for a brand new game; do you wanna play with me?
Lilynette: Okay what's it called and how do you play?
Szayel: It's called motorcycle mama, now get on my lap and start gyrating like you would on a motorcycle.
Lilynette: (gets on lap) you mean like this? (Starts gyrating on Szayel's lap)
Szayel: Yeah that's the stuff, oh god I'm such a happy motorcycle (starts making motorcycle noises) this feels so good, oh god yes.
Lilynette: There's something poking me.
Szayel: Yeah ignore that it's just part of the game (looks at computer screen) oh calm down it's a fanfic; molestation is perfectly fine in fanfics.
Lilynette: Okay that things is really started to poke me hard, can I stop now?
Szayel: No, no not yet just keep gyrating, oh, oh, Aww! Oh OH MY GOD I'm COMING.
Lilynette: Okay now I'm sticky and wet
Szayel: The game is over, get off and leave me alone.
Lilynette: That's disgusting; you're such a gross disgusting pervert.
Szayel: Yeah, well you're short, look at you down there. I bet Nnoitra or Yammy could just step on you, that's how short you are.
Lilynette: STARK!
Stark: What! God is it so much to ask for just a little nap. What's wrong?
Lilynette: Szayel molested me again, get rid of him!
Szayel: Can I just say that Lilynette is a liar and a blabbermouth.
Stark: Okay that's the last straw, Szayel out, now.
Szayel: Okay, okay, fine I can see when I'm not wanted (walks away). (Stops and turns slowly) but can I just say, I thought we were friends and that you cared for me, but I guess I was wrong (walks away). (Stops and turns around slowly) and another thing, I didn't molest her; we had sex, so there.
Stark: GET OUT!!
Later that Evening
Harribel: I'm so glad you got rid of stupid Szayel; no we can have some fun.
Stark: The candles are lit, I'm all lubed up with lotion, let's do it baby.
Harribel: Stark you're on fire!
Stark: I know, and you're looking pretty hot too.
Harribel: No really you're on fire!!!
Stark: (looks at hand) Oh my god, the stupid candle lit my oily skin on fire, why do you always buy the flammable lotion!? (Runs around house screaming)
Harribel: Stark come back or at least get into the bathroom.
Stark: (Burst through Bathroom door)
Lilynette: (In bathtub playing with rubber Menos) Hey I'm in here!
Stark: Move stupid I'm on fire (jumps into bathtub)
Harribel: Oh thank god, you're out.
Lilynette: Eww, what's all this sticky stuff washing off of Stark and why is Harribel naked.
Fire engulfs the entire house
Harribel: Well it looks like we're done for.
Stark: Wait we're Espada and you're element is water can't you just put the fire out?
Harribel: It's too late al of the gas is going to knock us unconscious.
All of them pass out
(Five minutes later)
Fireman: Don't worry folks you're going to be alright.
Stark: (Clothed in a blanket) what happened how did we get out here?
Fireman: Well after he called us about the fire he ran into the house and pulled all of you out, and good thing to if you were in there for one more second you would've died.
Harribel: Who saved us?
Szayel: I did, even after you kicked me out, we're friends after all.
Lilynette: Wait I was naked, did you violate me while I was out.
Szayel: (knocks out Fireman) Yes I did, but if it makes you feel better I also violated Harribel and Stark.
Stark: Dude, why?
Szayel: My aspect is Madness, I'm
Stark: Fair enough but where are we going to live, our house was burned down.
Szayel: You can stay at my place.
Stark: You have a house, how.
Szayel: A for sale sign and Aizen's money, that's how. Let's go home.
Harribel: You know Szayel you may be a rapist, pedophile, psychopath, sociopath, and sadistic creepy stalker, but you're alright.
Szayel: Thanks but I should mention something, I started the fire.
Harribel: What? But, Stark started it. He ran through it while he was one fire.
Szayel: Really, huh I guess my device didn't go off.
Stark: What device (huge mushroom cloud appears behind them)
Szayel: We better go (runs)
The End
And so they lost a home but received a new one and everyone was happy. Except for Lilynette who now has to share a bed with Szayel…And his toys, yeah kinda sick ain't it.