Oh, we dreamed of life,
And it was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it's done.
Still, we stand with the help of a steady hand
Capture images of boy and man, until it's done
The bullet rips through her body and her life flashes before her eyes as she falls, bits and pieces of her childhood taking their turn at the forefront of her mind's eye. She feels the phantom warmth of her mother's fingers lacing with hers, pulling her along as they glide across the ice rink, hears her father's laughter as he stands by the sidelines taking photos. The scene switches and she sees her dad at their cabin, stoking a fire as her mother calls out that their dinner is ready.
Her heart aches for them, the memories haunting her as she gasps for air. Her eyes fly open but instead of the sunshine, she sees her dad again, hunched over their kitchen table, an empty bottle of whiskey rolling on the ground by his feet. The darkness threatens to pull her in so she claws for something to hold on to. She's clutching something in her fingers, grass, she thinks. She's ripping the blades out of the ground, but she's barely holding on. She tries for oxygen again and her chest really fucking hurts.
Oh god, she's been shot.
The revelation pulls her out of the cocoon of memories she's created for herself and she realizes Castle's looming over her, his hands pressing down on her chest, tears pooling in his eyes. She wants to scream in pain now, the numbness from before having completely faded away. All she can do is blink back the tears in her eyes, focus on the fact that she's still there. Still alive. She feels the sun on her skin, smells the freshly cut grass, feels Castle's weight pressing her body deeper into the ground. She gasps for air again and her eyes meet his, and they both match – blinking back tears of anguish. She wants to reassure him, tell him to stop worrying, that she'll be fine but she can't form the words. She hears the muffled voices around her, frantic and panicked but she can only make out the words that fall from his lips.
Kate!
Kate, please!
Stay with me, Kate!
Don't leave me.
Stay with me, okay?
Her vision is fading again and she tries to hold on to him, tries to stay awake but the darkness seems more tempting. If she succumbs to it, maybe the pain will disappear. Maybe she'll get to see her mother.
She thinks she hears him say that he loves her and it's like he's setting her free. He loves her, and she'll be fine. She can watch over him when she's gone, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. They're partners after all. She tries to smile before she goes and she sighs.
I love you too, Castle.