I was originally going to write this as a oneshot but I decided that it'd be best to be split into parts. I'm not sure on how many or if I'll just end up making it a multichapter fic. Let me know what you think, I love hearing what people have to say! This is dedicated to my moose, Brooke [Soonerbrookie]. Also, any errors are my own. Oh, and I'm sorry for the lack of Finchel sex in this part - that comes later (;

disclaimer; as much as I wish I did, I don't own glee or any of the characters.

It's not considered stalking if she randomly hears a part of Kurt's phone conversation. It's also not stalking if she just so happens to click his Facebook profile. But it is probably stalking when she searches through his pictures to see if there's something, anything to show her the face of the girl that has captured Finn Hudson's attention. When she finally reaches a picture of him with his arms wrapped around a girl that she's never seen before, her stomach churns and she begins to get dizzy. The smile on his face was blinding, something she hasn't seen in so long; not since he enforced a no contact order. In an angry huff, she slammed her computer shut before rolling over and pressing her face deep into her pillows to let out a shrill scream.

They weren't supposed to date other people. Yes, they may be broken up and yes, she may have kissed Brody that one time but that didn't mean that it was time to give up hope for their future. Maybe she was just a friend, Rachel tried to reason with herself but something deep inside her knew that was a lie. He was moving on and here she was, struggling just to make it through a day without picking up her phone and calling him. It had been easy those first five weeks after the break up because she knew, she just knew that he loved her, that he still wanted her. And boy would she be lying if she said she didn't want him because she did. More than anything in the world, Rachel Berry wanted Finn Hudson. She wanted him as her best friend, her boyfriend, her lover, her husband, she wanted him to be the person that she could always turn to but now there was another girl in his arms, another receiving those hugs, touches, and kisses.

-x-

One week.

Seven days.

One hundred sixty eight hours.

Ten thousand eighty minutes.

Six hundred four thousand eight hundred seconds.

That's exactly how long it took Rachel to decide that going to Lima was the worst and best idea she ever had. While she didn't want to interrupt his life and turn it all around, she wasn't comfortable with the look in his eyes as he stared at the girl in the picture. She had to go and see for herself if it was the same look he used to give her. At least that's what she told herself. Kurt of course tries to talk her out of going but she reasons with him, telling him that her fathers requested her presence just for the weekend, 'I'll be home before you even realize I'm gone. I promise.' And without another word she was talking off to her side of the loft to park her bag.

She wouldn't need much, just a few changes of clothes and something to go out in. And of course all her beauty and hair products because really, how do you think she's gonna win back Finn's love if she looks like a bum just taken in from under the bridge by the interstate? Surprisingly enough though, she only has one bag, and of course her carry on with her most valuable belongings but did that ever really count when people talked about how many bags they were bringing? No, she didn't think it did because practically everyone, male or female had a bag slung over their shoulder the next morning when she was walking through the airport.

As she pulled her rolling suit case alongside her, Rachel couldn't get rid of the excitement that filled her to the core. Turning towards Kurt, she reached out and put her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Be safe here, okay? Make sure to lock the door and if it's late, don't open it at all. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to my best friend and I wasn't here to help with my amazing dance moves."

His laugh rung out through the small waiting area along with hers as they shared an inside joke. It has become sort of a thing with them ever since Kurt saw Cassie stretching. He was so sure that she was preparing her students for some sort of battle with those high leg kicks and all. Time and time again, Rachel would laugh at this ridiculous idea and say, She is Kurt, she's preparing us for Broadway; for the real world. Just like Isabelle is doing with you. But it didn't matter because he was still hooked on the idea that Rachel could become a secret ninja or something.

"Oh what shall I do without my protector for such a long weekend?" He dramatically whined as a large smile formed on his face. Hugging her tightly, he spoke quietly in her ear, "Be careful Rachel. I know how much it probably hurts but nothing is going to compare to actually seeing it with your own two eyes. Love you little Diva."

With a small, sad smile, Rachel pulled away and turned to head towards the terminals where her plane was waiting. Once her tickets were checked and she walked through to head towards the monorail to take her over, she looked towards Kurt, "I LOVE YOU KURT HUMMEL." She said it loudly, just to make sure him and everyone around him knew that she did because really, where would she be without her best friend by her side? He helped her, pushed her, took care of her and while she did the same for him through his break up, at least him and Blaine were now on speaking terms. At least Kurt was able to hear Blaine's voice, know that he's doing alright (know that he's not dating anyone else).

Unlike her and Finn.

It hurt her every time that she'd hear Kurt in there laughing away at something the other boy said over Skype because that should be her too. Finn should still love her because she definitely still loved him. What she said, all that stuff in the hallway after seeing the Glee club do Grease, he said he knew her but wouldn't he have known that she was lying straight through her teeth? That he was still her home; that where ever he was is where she wanted to be?

As the doors to the monorail dinged open, Rachel swiftly made her way inside and found a seat. It wasn't a long ride, maybe two minutes tops but still her mind was in too big of a fog to actually function correctly while standing in a moving vehicle. Once she was off at the other side and checked through security, a small bubble of anxiety started to form in Rachel's stomach. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. She thought to herself as she sat in one of the empty chair by her terminal.

-x-

Four hours and thirty eight minutes.

That's how long Rachel tried to sleep, or settle her nerves, either way neither worked and by the time she landed, she was beginning to think that this was a terrible idea. Kurt words of earlier playing on repeat in her head about how hard this was all going to be. And now, now Rachel was freaking out because what if he honestly never wanted to see her again? What if he was starting to fall in love with the beautiful blonde girl from the pictures?

She couldn't help but notice all the differences between her and the other girl. She was tall, nowhere near Finn fall but definitely taller than Rachel and she had blonde hair. Her eyes were light, shining, her skin was almost the same pale color as Finn's, and her smile, it seemed so much brighter than anything Rachel had ever seen in all her life. While Rachel on the other hand was much shorter, darker skin and eyes, and a dull smile.

Walking out of the plane, she quickly made her way towards the baggage claim so she could meet her fathers and get started on all the things she wanted to do in the day and a half she's there. As she reaches the familiar area, she sees the two men that she's missed almost as much as her ex-fiance'.

"Daddies'!" She squealed as she ran towards them, wrapping her arms around both of their necks as they picked her up off the ground. The feeling of seeing these two after so long was overwhelming and before she started crying, she decided to pull away.

"How have you been? How long were you waiting? Hopefully it wasn't too long. They said that we were on schedule but you know how they can be. Ten minutes late means on time to them."

Her words spit rapidly from her mouth as she moved to grab her bag off the belt and turned back towards them so they could leave. The car ride was spent with the three talking and catching up. No words were spoken about 'he who shall not be named' and for that, Rachel was glad. When they reached home, Rachel looked at the house in wonder as memories, recent and old, swirled through her mind, ending with the last time she was here sitting on the doorstep crying because of Finn and his stupid no contact order.

With a heavy sigh and a shake of the head, she quickly made her way inside. It was still winter after all and there was a cool breeze to the air. It was nothing like New York but it still caused goose bumps to form on the exposed skin where her shorts ended. Deciding that tonight, she was just going to stay in and steel herself for whatever events were destined to take place this weekend, Rachel went to her room and slipped into a pair of thin yoga pants and slipped a hoodie over her head before grabbing her wallet and phone. Walking down stairs, she looked for her fathers and found them nestled together on the couch watching old reruns of Friends.

"I'm going to go get some stuff for hot coco and maybe some take out. I'm a bit hungry. I promise to be quick, may I borrow the car?"

"Sure princess, you can take mine." Her dad replied. Smiling she leaned over and kissed both of their foreheads before grabbing the keys and heading out the door.

-x-

"Marshmallows, marshmallows, marshmallows," Rachel chanted over and over as she browsed the aisles looking for her favorite kind. She loved the little ones the fit in her cup with her hot chocolate. It was always her favorite part of the drink, the way the sugary snack tasted mixed with the chocolate on her tongue.

Just as she turned the next corner, she stopped dead in her tracks. He was there. Finn was there in the store just at the other end of the aisle. But wait, he wasn't alone. She was there; laughing and messing with his hair as he tickled her. Just as she let out a loud squeal, he pressed her to the shelf behind her and dipped his head in what seemed to be a kiss.

Tears welled in her eyes and this terrible tightening formed in the pit of her stomach. Kurt was right, Kurt was so right and she never should have come here. Just as she turned around to run away as quickly as possible she smack right into a broad, muscular chest, knocking her down on her ass with a grunt. So much for fleeing as quickly as possible without being noticed, she thought to herself as she scrambled to get on her knees and grab her belongings. Just as she was about to stand up, a hand reached out to help her up.

"Well fuck me." The stranger said as he pulled her to her feet. "If it isn't Rachel fucking Berry. What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were off in New York doing the NYADA thing?" Looking up, she realized that this person was no stranger. In fact, it was none other than Noah Puckerman. Before she had a chance to even say anything, He was shouting for Finn to come over, that he wouldn't believe what he would.

Her body tensed as she heard their laughs coming closer. Her eyes slammed shut as the tears that were there a moment ago threatened to cascade down her face like a waterfall.

"What's up Puck? Did you get what we needed for the barbeque?" His voice sounded like honey and she could already feel the walls that she had spent so long building beginning to crack. She didn't say anything just stood there, looking down at her sandals while the two talked about whatever they were missing.

"No, but Huddy, look who I found wondering around Lima. Do you think she was planning on telling anybody that she was here or do you think she'd just come and go without a word?" When he moved away from her small frame, Rachel made no move to look up at him, made no move to say anything. Her eyes shifted a little and she could see him holding hands with who she assumed to be the girl from the picture.

Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and snapped her head up, a bright, fake show smile playing on her lips as she looked at the three people staring at her. One looked like he'd seen a ghost and instantly he dropped the other woman's hand and ran his finger through his hair while another looked confused, shifting her gaze back and forth between herself and the newly pale boy standing beside her. The last person however, was smirking like a fool, almost like he was glad that he had been the one that ran into her otherwise he never would have been able to see this terrible situation.

"Hello Noah, nice to see you again." She replied rolling her eyes before bending over to pick up her groceries. "But I wasn't planning on being here very long and as far as I remember, people preferred if I never mention me being here, never wanted to see me or know I was around. So I felt no need to announce my presence." Her tone was short, using his previous words to cut through him and she watched as he flinched with every word that passed through her lips. At least she knew he was still hurting over his own words like she was.

Turning her attention to the girl standing between the two boys, Rachel stuck out her hand in offer as a hello. "Rachel Berry. Ex-girlfriend to him," she said gesturing to Puck, "And ex-fiancé to him." There was no need for her to point out who she was talking about since Finn was the only other person standing there. When the girl didn't place her hand in Rachel's, she simply shrugged and pushed through the three, bumping her tiny body against Finn's larger one. "Like I said before, it's been nice seeing you Noah."

She practically ran to the register after turning the corner. She had never been so embarrassed, felt more like an outsider than she had right there in that moment. Walking towards her father's car, she slipped slightly but a warm steady hand reached out to help keep her on her feet. Looking up to thank the person, her mouth dropped open, and eyes went wide because just like before, this person was no stranger to her. Finn Hudson was standing before her, hand on her arm, as he looked at her with a strange expression on his face. It was something that she couldn't place, something she'd never seen before in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Thank you." She mumbled before easing her arm from his grip and rubbing the spot that his fingers were just at. Had he realized how tight he was holding her? Did he remember that she could bruise easily? When he didn't say anything, she made a move to walk towards the car, the urge to run intensifying ever second she stood close to him. Just as she opened the door, his voice rung out, alerted her to his speaking.

"You can't do things like that, you know. It's not right. She's a sweet girl and I care about her. You can't just barge in and make your presence known just when I'm beginning to feel good about myself, just as I'm starting to move on."

"That's not-"

"She makes me happy. Happiest I've been in a really long time and what you did was wrong, Rachel." His eyes snapped up to meet hers, something burning deep in his warm honey orbs.

Shaking her head, she licked her lips as she took a step away. "I promise I'm not here to push myself back into your life. You made the decision that you wanted me gone and I've been respecting that. I came here to see my fathers, to spend some time with them. I made no effort to let anyone know I was in town so I don't see where you have the right to come out here and tell me all of this. I'm glad you're happy, it makes me happy to see that spark in your eyes again. Now if that's all you wanted to say, I need to get back to my fathers because I've already been gone for too long."

Grabbing the handle of the door, she tugged it open. Without turning around she spoke softly. "Tell your girlfriend that I'm a crazy ex or whatever you want. I don't care, okay?" With that she got in the car and pulled away, not bothering to look back at the boy standing there silently telling her that the blonde girl wasn't his girlfriend.

-x-

Instead of hot chocolate and a movie with her fathers, Rachel went directly to bed so she could cry. She called Kurt and told him everything that had happened, how from the moment she stepped off the plane that she wanted to turn around and run home. He told her to stay strong, that she could do anything she set her mind to and if she wanted to avoid Finn until she left, she could definitely do it.

When the house became quiet and the alarm clock read 2:38 am, Rachel knew that sleep would never come for her. So instead of trying to force it, she rolled out of bed and grabbed the hoodie that she had been wearing previously and pulled it on before sneaking out the front door. It wasn't that she wasn't allowed out, her fathers had always trusted her but she didn't want to explain to them why their daughter who always prided herself on her sleep schedule was barely sleeping anymore. It was just easier for her this way.

Getting into the car, she drove towards the lake that she and Finn had gone to when they prayed for Burt after his heart attack. At this time of night, she wasn't worried about anyone being there. Silently, she parked the car and made her way towards the water, slowly sinking down into the grass as she looked out at the ripples as they crossed over the water. Sighing, she turned her attention to the sky, looking for her favorite star among the bunch. She can't see it in New York and that alone saddens her.

There was a sound behind her, the crunching of grass, the sound of leaves breaking under heavy footsteps. She didn't move, didn't flinch. There could only be one person to come to this exact spot and she really, really didn't want to see him right now – deal with him and the lies that she spoke earlier. It was too much and all she wanted to do was jump in the lake and swim as far away as she could get. As his steps grew louder, Rachel's eyes closed as she took a few deep breaths to relax herself. There was no need to get worked up over a boy who seemingly moved on to the beautiful blonde.

Rachel could fell his presence close behind her but she refused to speak. He wanted no contact and yet, he was the one to talk to her earlier and came to find her here. He could have left, he didn't have to stay once he knew she was here.

"I come out here sometimes to think, to clear my head when it feels like the world is caving in around me."

When she didn't speak, there was a long drawn out sigh before more nose as he came even closer to her.

"Why are you here? Why have you come home?" His questions came out in a soft whisper, almost like he never spoke at all. Rachel dropped her head forward while shaking it, still refusing to speak to him. It wasn't irrational and it wasn't immature. He was the one who never wanted to talk to her again and she just wanted to make him happy by not saying anything at all.

"You can't ignore me all night, Rachel. Sooner or later we're going to talk." Finn said in a frustrated tone. She could practically feel him running his hands through his hair when he spoke. He always did that when he was nervous or upset. It was a force of habit.

Standing she turned around to face him and began walking back to her fathers' car. She had to get away from him – away from this situation. Just as she passed him, Finn reached out and grabbed a hold of her wrist as to try and stop her.

"I won't let you run from this so I'll ask you one more time. Why are you here, Rachel?" With his tone, you would have suspected that he was talking to a child that had just gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar, not his nineteen year old ex.

Spinning around, Rachel pulled her arm from his grasp as she looks at him with nothing but distaste.

"I have just as much right to be here as you do. I grew up here, Finn. This is my home, where my family is. You don't have the right to question my motives. Do you understand me? And keep your hands off me. I'm not your anything anymore and you no longer have the right to touch me."

With that she quickly moved away and began walking quickly to the car, Finn trailing not too far behind.

"Don't you dare do that – you can't run away from me-"

"You mean like you ran from me?," she yelled over her shoulder, "Why are you talking to me, you wanted no contact and this is the second time today alone that you've made a point to say something. It was your choice, Finn. I never wanted this, okay?"

"Rach.."

"No. No don't you dare call me that! I'm not your 'Rach' anymore, Finn Hudson. You've moved on, you're happy. It doesn't matter that I've been miserable without you. It doesn't matter that not talking to you, not hearing from you has practically killed me." Turning around she quickly stormed up to him and began poking his chest for added emphasis. "You pushed me out completely after you assumed that my 'forth cry' as you put it was me crying over Brody. Which for the record, it wasn't! He's my friend, that's all he's ever going to be."

Finn ran his hand through his hair as he watched the girl in front of him slowly break down. It was hard seeing her like this, so vulnerable but yet here she was. Nothing she was saying was a lie and from the moment he said those stupid words about having no contact he regretted them. There were many nights where he just felt the need to talk to her, see her face. He didn't even want to think about kissing her or loving her because he was almost positive he would drive himself insane.

"Rachel can we just –"

"No!" Rachel screamed, pounding on his chest with her tiny fists. When he wrapped his own hands around her wrists, she pulled away so fast. It was almost as if she had been burned.

"Don't. Touch. Me." She articulated each word as she took a few steps away from him. With one final look in his direction, Rachel turned and tried to move as quickly as possible to her fathers' car.

Just as she passed Finn's truck, a strong hand wrapped around her wrist and tugged her back towards the truck she had just passed. Finn pulled Rachel towards the tailgate and quickly let the back fall before pushing her down against it so she was laying there looking up at him with confused, wide eyes..

"You think this isn't hard for me too? You think that I can't see how broken you are because of this? How fast you ran from me earlier only told me that you weren't done with this. You're not ready to let it go. I wasn't lying when I said I was happy. Allison makes me happy."

Using on hand, he held her hip down while using the other to push her shorts down her legs. Rachel gasped and tried to cover herself but she'd be lying if she said that him taking control wasn't a huge turn on. She knew it was wrong, wrong to want him like that while he was with someone else, while he another girl was with him. But she made no more to stop him, no move to push him away from her.

"But she isn't you and she doesn't make me feel like you did." Without pulling his eyes from hers, he made quick work of his button and zipper. "And I don't think anyone will ever make you feel like I did."

He stroked himself a few times before slamming into her. Neither bothered with pleasantries; there was no kissing, no contact except where their bodies met and meshed together and where his hands are holding her hips. Rachel grabs ahold of the tailgate, pulling herself into him, meeting his body thrust for thrust and he continued to pound her. It was hot, dirty, and quick. Not even five minutes later, Rachel was screaming out in ecstasy, her body bowed off the truck, thighs tight as they wrap around his waist, holding him to her until her body can relax.

Finn was almost positive that his life had flashed before his eyes when he exploded inside her, hot and heavy. He hadn't even thought about a condom until now as he continued thrusting his hips harder and harder into hers, feeling her body contract around him, milking him of everything he had to give.

When they're orgasms had finished running through them, Finn reached back and untangled Rachel's legs from around his body, resisting the urge to kiss her ankles as he did so. Abruptly, Rachel pushed Finn away and quickly pulled her bottoms back on. When she was dressed, she shoved at Finn's chest again and ran the rest of the way towards her car.

-x-

The entire drive she berated herself. How could she have done that? Why didn't she stop him? A million different things ran through her mind as she drove down the dark streets of Lima. Biting her lip, she tried not to cry as she thought about what just happened. It seemed so impersonal; like she meant absolutely nothing to him and that they hadn't been engaged almost a year ago. It was the absolute worse feeling in the world that she had ever had. Not even the talk in the hall after Grease was this bad.

When she pulled into the driveway, tears were flowing. Rachel didn't want to go inside just yet because the sobs that kept escaping her body were sure to wake her fathers. After sitting in the car for a few minutes, she decided that she had calmed down enough to go in and make it to her bedroom before she'd allow herself to feel anymore resentment towards both Finn and herself. Just as she stepped out, she noticed a familiar truck parked on the other side of the block. Without thinking, she quickly walked towards the front door without giving him any attention.

And that was the first part in this story. Let me know what you thought or what you'd like to see incorporated in here.