Lincoln:This is a...
Baby Rita:no...n ca...non fa...n...fic
Lincoln:Regardless of how you think it portray the characters...
Baby Rita:We ad...vice s...ee..ing canon t...o get the characters
Lincoln:Very good
Both:Enjoy!
(I don't know how to emulate baby talk, sue me)
Lincoln grunted as he watched the baby girl he held in his hands.
The snow haired teenager thought he be out of the weirdness after everyone in the loud house grew up and he moved out, but seems the universe(this one) is a stingy bitch.
You see, this baby wasn't actually is own offspring, not after he swore romantic relationships and sex for good, plus he was too young for that.
This baby also wasn't his niece or a new little sibling, no no no, that be far too normal for his life.
No, this baby was his mom, de-aged by Lisa...by accident, according to her anyways.
It was a normal day for him, walking around his apartment in his underwear with no one to complain since he keep the windows closed and he lived alone, reading comics, practicing his drawing, doing chores around the house, you know the usual since he started living alone.
Then suddenly he receives a call, it was Lisa, he got the feeling she did a bad, but shrugged it off and talked like they usually do.
First mistake.
Lisa seemed nervous about something, which Lincoln picked up but decided it was probably nothing.
Second mistake.
Then she asked him to come to his old house, not reason given other than 'it's a surprise'.
Third mistake and he was out.
He took the bus since he still didn't have money to buy a car and didn't get a new bike, the ride was peaceful, a moment of peace before the bomb dropped.
He got out of the bus, calmly walked up to his old house and knocked.
Someone tried to open him but the doorknob fell off, more time took into fixing it and that it stuck for the time being and he was in.
It was Lily who opened him, much to his annoyance.
You see, when she was a baby Lily became kinda of a bitch, he didn't say anything at the time because he thought it was just some weird thing that would go away quickly, mom told them she would be like that when she grows up, since her other children went through the same.
He silently laughed at that, it was ridiculous that someone was born with their fully developed personality, just without being able to talk, there were certain cases where that was like that but it was outliers for the human race.
Yet here they are, 5 years later and Lily was still a bitch, only worse now because she could talk, move on her and other stuff older kids could do.
The tried to get her to change her ways, tried to make her at least a tolerable person...but the only thing they got was anger and siblicidal thoughts, maybe in a other universes she woul be a good natured, kind, adorable little girl, but as she stood now...
"What's up loser" Said the little shithead of a little girl.
Driving away any siblicidal thoughts out of his mind, Lincoln answered the little girl as nice as possible.
"I came because Lisa called me, she said it was a surprise"
"Oh, that four eyed freak didn't the you the screw up she committed, you're in for a surprise"
Lincoln took deep breaths because he got a feeling whatever Lisa did, it was gotta be a very bad thing.
"What did she do?"
"Let miss 'I can't do science right to save my life' tell you herself"
"Good, she's probably upstairs in her room, I can go by myself bye" He said as he wanted to get far away from Lily as possible.
Before Lily could say anything Lincoln already darted to her room, it was her old room, this time all for herself.
Lily took the one Lori and Leni had all for herself.
Once he arrived, he took notice of something.
There was a baby.
Not Lisa obviously, she was 9 now, but a little baby girl with a platinum tuff of hair.
"Lisa, what did you do?"
"Hey older sibling, ever heard of de-aging?"
An attempted murder later (don't worry, it's normal between them), Lisa explained the situation.
Lisa was developing one of her experiments, meant to create ways people could age forward and backwards at will, so they could settle in the age they want.
She wanted a test subject, Lily obviously refused, Lucy, Lana and Lola too and dad was too busy with his restaurant to pay attention.
That's another thing that happened, on the following years Lynn's table got a huge following, so much that dad got extremely focused in keeping it afloat, to the expense of his family.
He surprisingly wasn't bothered, neither where some of his siblings, he guessed that since they all learned to move on with their lives...
Some people where bothered by this, including his mom who was visible sadder, now that actually made him angry.
Speaking of that wonderful woman, she offered to help Lisa like any mother would, she didn't understand it but she wanted to help all of her children, even Lily who's also mean to her...
He was kinda peeved, so much that he attempted towards Lisa's life again (this family is pro-pence to that).
After evading near death, Lisa proceeded to explain to him that she will find a way to fix it as soon as possible.
The catch, is that he needed to take care of his mom.
She told him that dad was a mess from what was currently happening and didn't seem to be capable of taking care of his mom like that.
Plus, it was awkward taking care of your wife now as a little baby.
His older sister did know, but they were trying to find a way to cover for mom, his younger sisters were gonna help her turn her to normal, which only left Lincoln to take care of her.
Plus, she felt he would be the right one to take care of her., after all they did have the closest relationship with each other.
Lincoln was annoyed, he wasn't fond of taking care or having kids, he knew how, but he wasn't the slightest bit interested in that life style.
That was until little Rita started crawling to is leg, calling Dada.
That got him sad.
A year ago, Pop Pop had died of old age, leaving a devastated family behind, especially his daughter Rita.
The tried their best to cheer her up, they even stayed for a small period of time back in the Loud House until she felt better, but even then she still was affected by the tragedy.
Lincoln picked up the little girl, she seemed to mistake him for her deceased dad, makes sense, Pop Pop always called him his look alike, guess that rang true even in his younger days.
"Hey sweetie, don't worry, daddy is here" He instinctively said, imitating Albert as much as he could.
The girl giggled happily and Lincoln smiled...until he realized what he has done and began to wonder why he did it.
"Well, it seems my assumption was correct" Said Lisa.
Lincoln glared at her.
"Don't worry older sibling, once she returns to her usual age she will have all her memories back, so you won't have to pretend to be our deceased grandfather, I advise to keep the charade during your time raising her, it's for the best"
The man with the plan sighed, she was right, Rita couldn't understand her dad is dead now and even if she could, telling her about it would be a jerk move on his part and he didn't want to do that.
"Ok Lisa, I take care of mom, you better fix this mess, else I lock you with Lily for an entire month"
Lisa gulped, that threat being more than enough to get her to work.
They decided Lincoln will raise Rita in his apartment for the time being, in case she got injured during the experiments at home, so Lisa decided to use one of her machines to transport every stuff Lincoln may need to take care of baby Rita for the time being.
So, here we are.
"So here we are mom, never guessed it would come the time for me to take care of you...well maybe when you where too old but not like taking care of you as a baby"
It was weird calling her mom while he was sixteen years older than her at the moment, it was even weirder to talk to her as if she understood but eh.
He caressed her as she giggled at his touch.
She looked a lot like baby Lily, near identical, the only difference was that Rita didn't have the aura of malice Lily had as a baby, nor did her innocent appearance seemed to be a fake to gather sympathy and make you drop your guard down.
Seriously, what went wrong with that girl? She wasn't raised differently from the other loud siblings at her age and she still ended up being an unbearable bitch at that age.
Leaving her aside, he played a game of peek-a-boo with Rita, he was gonna call her that from now on so it doesn't get weirder than it already is.
In a way, this could be seen as making up to Rita by taking care of them 11 times, this time they where taking care of them, albeit temporarily...hopefully.
The girl was giggling and saying 'Dada' over and over.
Lincoln smiled and picked her up, he put his gloved finger close to her and she started biting it, it didn't really hurt and it made Rita happy, so it was ok by him.
He still wasn't into raising children, but he felt ok with taking care of Rita.
I actually did a drawing of this scenario and inspiration struck so...(the drawing is terrible, so this is the much better option).
Also you might be wondering: Why is Lily like this in this fic?
Well apparently there was a comic of the loud house that portrayed Lily as this mean baby that according to Rita was representative of how she was gonna be as she grows up, since apparently all the loud siblings where born with their personalities already there and set for life.
It doesn't make sense with real life or canon (that i'm aware off) but said 'fuck it Imma try it anyways', seemed like a fun idea at the time.
So Lily is basically an exaggerated insufferable bitch in this fic that nobody wants around.
Also, trying to commit siblicide or any form of homicide in real life is something serious and shouldn't be attempted at any circumstances that aren't self defense, this is only here for comedic and exaggerated purposes.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this fic, ciao!
(Also in case someone is wondering, Lincoln is aroace in this fic, so no shipping for him here).
EDIT:Fixed some stuff.