Vergil and Dante VS. GODZILLA!
It was a nice sunny day at the Chinese Drive-in when Vergil pulled in to order.
"CHINESE FOOOOOOD how may I help you?" said a Chinese old lady from the speakers.
"I'd like one sweet n' sour shrimp"
"And Then?"
"One pork Lo Mein"
"And Then?"
"Uhh… OH! One wonton soup and some cookies fortune"
"… What?"
"I mean fortune cookies, fortune cookies sorry"
"oh ok… AND THEN??"
"No that's it, no and then."
"AND THEN??"
"Listen I will not play your Chinese food mind games you hear me?!" Then it struck him. The restaurant's name wasn't CHINESE FOOOOOOD it was the Golden Wonton. "Dante YOU ASS!!"
"OH SHIT!! GOTTA GO!!" Dante said over the speakers as he got up to flee from his twin, but it was too late. Vergil busted through the wall and pointed Yamato at Dante's throat. "Dante that's IT!! IVE HAD IT WITH YOUR CRAP!! Draw your sword!!"
"Well ok if you really want me too…" Said Dante as he started to unzip his pants.
"Whoa not that sword, draw you cutty-slashy sword not your humpy-bumpy sword!" Vergil said, covering his eyes. "Dante? Dante are you there?" Vergil lowered his hand to find a hard at work Dante sitting on a stove with a clipboard and a pencil. "Dante what the hell are you doing now?"
" I'm drawing my sword dumbass! Now SHHHH!! I'm trying to concentrate!" Said Dante. Vergil was angry enough to rip someone's head off but he kept his anger in check as walked over to Dante. "Are you done?"
"Yeah here you go!" said Dante.
"Dante this is a potato."Vergil said.
"It's me showing you what I think of you." Dante replied
"what?" Vergil said as he looked more closely. That's when he saw his name written with an arrow pointing to the potato.
"It says you're a turd!" Dante said, kicking his legs and laughing.
"At least I'm not stupid enough to sit on a lit stove." Said Vergil. Dante looked at his rear end to find his ass was indeed on fire. Dante then tackled Vergil through the kitchen doors into the restaurant.
A random Chinese guy jumped up and shouted to everyone " Look its two gay guys wrestling on the floor! And one guys ass is on fire!"
Then Hideki Kamiya, the director of Devil May Cry 1, stood and said " No those are two twin devil hunters from a video game."
"Japanese or American?" said another Chinese man.
"American" said Hideki.
"let's get Godzilla to kill them!!" Said the first Chinese guy. Dante And Vergil looked up and stopped fighting. All of a sudden a giant lizard hand broke through the roof and grabbed for them. They rolled out its reach and exited the restaurant. They looked up and saw Godzilla staring at an empty hand. Vergil grabbed Dante by the arm and jumped up to Godzilla's head.
"What are you doing!?" Dante yelled, his butt cheeks still a raging inferno.
"When I throw you up to his nose, let one fly ok? And put some magic in it!" And with that Vergil reach the height of his jump and flung Dante to Godzilla's face. When Dante was in line he pushed as hard as he could. Then, like a dragon breathing fire the flames from Dante's ass traveled on the the wind of his fart and into the nose of the beast, melting its brain, part from the fire and part from the smell. With that Dante used his new found butt jet powers to fly down to his brother and safely land.
"Dude that was awesome! Where's my lighter?" Dante asked.
"Why?" Vergil said.
"let's just say, don't open your eyes tonight or you might lose them"
END!!