I decided it's been a while since I wrote anything completely and utterly unnecessary. "T" for pedobear, the one bear that keeps us from going to sleep at night.
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It was only two days since we let Set stay, and he was already making my life miserable.
"GIVE NICK BACK, YOU PEDOBEAR!" I screamed, chasing after the sad excuse for a father.
"Not until you admit that Zac Efron's cuter!" he sang. "Wait, did you just call me a pedobear?" he stopped abruptly, making me run straight into his back, which felt sort of like running into a brick wall. …Not that I've ever ran into a brick wall before, or anything.
I shrugged. "Yeah, so? Now give me my new Nick pillow pet, before you ruin this one too." I demanded.
He shuddered and turned around. "Son, don't go throwing words like 'pedobear' around, or else you'll pay."
I "pff"ed and took Nick while he wasn't looking. "Why not, 'Daddy'?"
He led me to a seat that wasn't there five seconds ago, and gestured for me to sit down. "It all started fifteen years ago…"
FLASHBACK OF ROCKIN' RED REAPER
"Ha, ha, Isis is totally a pedobear!" Set laughed.
He chuckled all the way up to his room, and collapsed on the bed, still laughing. "Ahhh, that's funny. Pedobear, pedobear, pedobear…"
The young god was still singing when a voice asked, "You called?"
Set screamed when he saw the life-sized bear staring at him with cold beady eyes. "NOOOO, DON'T RAPE MEEEE!"
Pedobear made a wild leap for Set, as he jumped out of bed and ran across the room. "Help me! Help, help, help!" he screamed as the large bear grabbed hold of his small wrists.
He was still crying and screaming when the bear said, "Oh, and Set? Don't call me a pedobear." In Isis's voice.
Pedobear reached up, and took his - I mean - her head off to reveal long black hair. The look on Set's face was probably priceless.
"You…" he stuttered weakly.
She laughed. "Yes, brother? Have you learned your lesson about calling me a 'pedobear'?"
"P-p-p-" he continued to stutter.
"Come on, Set, out with it!" she demanded impatiently.
"PEDOBEAR'S MY SISTER!" he screamed, before bolting out the unlocked door to go tell Geb, now mentally scarred of bears.
END FLASHBACK OF ROCKIN' RED REAPER
"And that's why you should never use the word 'pedobear'." He concluded.
I raised a hand. "Umm, you said 'It all started fifteen years ago…' then zoned out for five minutes, and then said 'And that's why you should never use the word 'pedobear'."
Set massaged his temples. "Long story short; don't call Isis a pedobear." He warned.
Isis walked into the room, holding a bear costume. "Did somebody say 'pedobear'?"
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Really short, I know, but I had to post this. I was going to make it about Anubis' obsession with Nick Jonas, but ended up making this screwed up piece of crap...Sorry XD