A/N: Okay this time I write a fic and it's not Gravitation! It's Saiyuki! It's my first one so please tell me what you think! grins
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or any of it's characters.
Dedicated: Kitsuna-chan
Warning: Adult Language.
Summary: Goku Goyjo have always fought like cats and dogs. Finally, they're arguing reaches its peak one day and Sanzo looses it!
"You're sitting on my side of the seat, moron!" Son Goku hissed shoving the fire-haired water sprite out of the way.
"Where?" Sha Goyjo asked, looking ticked.
"There, roach-boy!" the monkey howled, pointing to a make believe line.
"Where?" He snickered. "I don't see anything. You must be hallucinating…"
"Right here!" He jabbed at the spot again. "Are you freaking blind or something?"
"Hakkai, do me a favor a turn them into dust or I'll do it myself." Genjo Sanzo murmured, rubbing his aching temple, teeth gritting and right eye twitching. "They're giving me a fucking headache."
Cho Hakkai laughed off the priest's irrational behavior. He accepted it as part of Sanzo's personality; a personality which was to be testy, mean, and uncontrollable. He carried no qualms about pointing his gun at either friend or foe. Especially if they pissed him off. The two morons in the backseat continued to fighting, screams and insults were hurled. Hair was being pulled on Goku's part, more screaming and cursing on Goyjo's part. The priest the squeezed his eyes shut, still gritting his tteeth, had trembling on the butt of his gun. "Ow! That hurt's you little…" 'Heh heh! Not my fault you're roach-head!" "You are SO going to die today." More screaming. "That's it.." Sanzo growled and pulled out the gun, mounting the back on the front seat and fixed the firearm on the two quarreling males. "I've had enough of your shit! This is where I draw the line!" He turned and looked over his shoulder at the cheerful man driving the jeep. "Hakkai, stop the car! They're getting out."
The jeep squealed to a halt in the vast dessert, Hakaru breathing and mewling. "You're kidding." Goyjo said in his plain tone. "No." The enraged priest shoved the gun further into the water sprite's face. "Move your asses now!" "But, Sanzo…" Goku started to present. "Move it, monkey!" They did so with the aid of the threatening banishing gun. Then the jeep sped off, leaving the two, the monkey and the water sprite in the middle of the vast and dry desert.
"This is all your fault.." the taller man murmured lighting a cigarette.
"My fault! Why the hell is it my fault?" the other shrieked back.
"Because he kicked up out because of your mouth, dumbass!"
"Don't call me a dumbass, dumbass!" Goku cried childishly. "You slutty water sprite!"
"Oh yeah…" He made a grab for the monkey demon. "Come back here!"
"Nyah!" He stuck out his tongue. "Have to catch me first, looser!"
And so it continued. Goyjo began to chase Goku around and around and around in circles, getting no closer to catching the damn chimp. He cursed up, determined he was going to catch that moron if it was the last thing he did. "Come here, Monkey!"
"Not on your life…" He laughed and continued to run.
Exactly one mile away behind a giant boulder Hakkai, Sanzo, and Hakaru were sitting parked. "Well I suppose…" Hakkai scratched his cheek. "We couldn't really leave them, could we?" "Oh we could…." "Then…" "Just shut up. My head's starting to go back to normal." Hakkai smiled and said nothing more.
Exactly two minutes later, the two stopped fighting, have spent all their energy under the blazing heat of the sun. Goku lay on the hot white sand and listened to his stomach growl. "I'm hungry." "Shut up, Stupid Monkey!" Goyjo snarled. "That's the fourteenth time you've mentioned that! Don't you ever get tired of saying it?" "I'm hungry." "That's it!" He jumped the demon. More yelling, cursing, and fighting ensued….
"Slutty water sprite!"
"Stupid moneky!"
"Roach-head!"
"You are SO fucking dead…" Goyjo threw a punch.
Goku dodged it effectively.
"Nyah! You missed!"
"Not this time I won't!" He grabbed the younger man in a headlock and made as if to twist the monkey demon's head clean off. "HEY! Leggo, asshole!" "Hell no." Goku struggled, flopping this way and that, his hunger forgotten now that he was focusing on getting away from Goyjo's grip. "Leggo, you perverted water sprite!" "As if." "HEY! Did you just touch my ass?" (1) "You wish…" He continued to struggle as the sand kicked up around them.
"Don't you think you've left them out there long enough, Sanzo?" the human-looking demon asked.
"No, those morons will never learn…"
"Oh c'mon, they look like they're really…"
"All I hear is them bitching at each other."
"So…"
"They stay out there."
"Oh."
Again the water sprite and the monkey demon lay in the sand once more exhausted. "I'm hungry." He whimpered rolling onto his side. "Shut up already. I'm outta smokes and the sun's too damn hot to beat your ass."
They both passed out in the sand from heat and hunger.
"Hey, when do you figure they'll learn we haven't gone far at all?" the driver spoke up.
"In their case…Who the hell knows?" He took a drag of a smoke. "And who the hell cares?"
The other laughed at this.
Goku's Dreamscape
Goku envisioned a land full of tasty delectable treats. He ran through the field gulping down all the liquids he wanted and snatching every meat-bun off a meat-bun growing tree. He picked more food out of the fields near the lake and then gobbled that up as well. The monkey demon stuff his face to his heart's content, lounging underneath the shade of the meat-bun tree. He was still stuffing his face until a particularly hard meat-bun rapped him over the head.
End Goku's Dreamscape
"Owww, that meat-bun's hard damn it!" Goku cried out in his sleep. "Who the hell cooked this thing?"
"Wake up, Monkey!" a far away voice said as a fist-sized meat-bun hit his head once more.
The demon child murmured and tossed himself to the left then right.
"HEY! He said get up, dumbass!"
Goyjo's appeared in the form of a bird, intent on stealing his food. "NO! Go away! You ate my last food last time, you jerk!" He started to kick.
Something hard hit him again, snapping him awake.
Goku came awake, rubbing at his poor head that had been pounded, by the feel of it, several times so far. He opened his eyes and came face to face with the lecherous water sprite. "Hey, monkey. Glad you good join us…"
"YOU ATE MY MEAT-BUN! GIVE IT BACK!"
The four men once again set off, the jeep quiet for once. That was until Word War III started—again.
"Tell that stomach of yours to shut up!" Goyjo yelled.
"I can't, dufus! I'm hungry!"
"And I want a hundred gorgeous women. You can't always get what you want, Monkey!"
"Stop calling me that, you dumbass!"
"I don't think so!"
"Arggh!"
"Stupid monkey…"
"Stop!"
Sanzo growled and held his head once more. Couldn't they ever shut the fuck up for just one time? Just one damn minute! Hakkai laughed lightly.
"What's so funny?" Sanzo grumbled angrily.
"I take it leaving them out in the middle of the desert was suppose to teach them a lesson, right?" Hakkai asked.
No answer.
"It didn't work did it?" He looked over his shoulder at the arguing pair.
"Just shut up and drive, Hakkai."
"As you wish."
"What did I tell you about crossing over to my side of the seat, fruity sprite?" Goku hollered, resuming their previous argument.
"Nothing; all I could hear was this gnat buzzing in my ear."
"Take that back, you bastard!"
"Nope."
"Why you?"
BOOM!
Smoke curled from the barrel of the gun.
"Will you two, SHUT THE HELL UP ALL READY?"
(1) This is a line from the anime. First episode I think, I'm merely borrowing it. I thank the creator of Saiyuki for this line which I found MOST amusing. (I couldn't think of any original material that would hold the same zing)
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! Please review!