The sheets still smelled of him, a scent reminiscent of clean cotton and the spicy musk of his cologne, the one Erwin had bought for him. It lingered in the fabric that still had yet to be washed, in the room that had yet to be cleaned, and the clothes that had yet to be examined and passed on to some other soldier with the same or similar build. Or maybe the things would just be burned by the paranoid Military Police in their desperation to rid the world of the last things that remained of the Titan Shifter. "Eren…" Erwin was not one to indulge in this, particularly grief. Even in the days when he had been fresh to the Legion he had not allowed himself to wallow in the melancholy of losing a comrade for long and never during or after a battle. That ideal had only taken a firmer hold on him the longer he had been in the Legion and as he rose through the ranks, swift for his young age. But this was another matter. The Titans had all been eradicated. There was no longer such a need to compartmentalize, to hold everything back. He could let go and drown himself in the misery of death. I knew this day would come. I knew they would never let him live. How could they? He was the last Titan, even if he was human. They would have taken him eventually. The ultimatum they had given Erwin had spoken volumes. They might have needed the Legion to continue exploring the outside world and eradicating any Titans that might have remained beyond the reaches that they had explored but they did not need one particular Commander. No, he could have been replaced, quite easily, and likely with someone who would be more easily manipulated. One who sat in the palm of the Military Police. It was either him or Eren together or Eren alone. For Eren, there had been no way out. Death had awaited him no matter what. So when Erwin resisted, attempting to find a way out of their predicament by taking it to the courts or something, hell, even fleeing from the walls, Eren had bowed his head and submitted. For the first time in his life he had rolled over and exposed his belly to the enemy. And despite all that he had done for humanity - saving countless lives, slaughtering Titans, freeing them from the cage of the walls - he got to get a bullet to the brain for his troubles. Erwin rolled over in the bed, the one that had been his and Eren's for several months after the eradication of the Titans and right up until they had taken him. Until they had splattered the cobblestones with his brains and blood and bits of his skull. Erwin buried his face into the pillows and sucked in a deep breath. There was a burning sensation in his eyes, one he knew to be from tears, but when he touched his cheeks there was no dampness. Nothing but dry skin rough with stubble and eyes that pricked and burned. "Eren… Eren, I'm sorry I couldn't save you…" Exhaustion dragged at his bones. He hadn't slept in days, not since he had watched Eren fall to the ground, a hole through the center of his head, one that didn't have steam pouring out of it no matter how hard he had prayed or how long he had watched. It was too easy to close his eyes and drift off to the scent of Eren enveloping him. It was so strong, so strong. Almost enough that he could pretend that Eren was there, lying right beside him as he collapsed into sleep.
"Hey Erwin, you finally up?" Sky blue orbs flicked open to a stone ceiling ribbed with wooden support beams. Warm fingers traced across his chest, writing patterns into his skin with idle movements. Eren grinned at him when he peered over, a warm flash of teeth and dimples that matched those sparkling turquoise irises. His hair was messy, flat on one side as it stuck up in every direction on the other. "Ever heard of a brush?" "Nah, that's no fun." Eren prodded Erwin in his ribs, too hard to be ticklish but enough to be an affectionate gesture. "Besides, I didn't want to move. Your face is nice when you sleep. And…" He finger dragged down Erwin's torso from collarbone to the 'V' of his waist before it travelled back up to the center amongst well-defined muscles. "I just wanted to lay by you." Erwin rolled over and slung an arm over Eren who let out a small squeak when Erwin abruptly tugged him close. Their chests pressed together, fingers sliding together above their heads as their legs intertwined once more. Eren was hot, almost too hot beneath the covers, but Erwin didn't mind. As long as he was pressed against Eren anything was worth it. Their foreheads bumped and soft mouths found each other, moving with gentle rolls, flicks of the tongue, and light nips. Warm breath ghosted across Erwin's cheeks. Eren's mouth cracked open beneath Erwin's teeth and tongue, allowing him to delve inside, to taste Eren more fully. A hand slid down his side, digging into his ribs, then his hips. A muted breathy moan radiated through Eren, rumbling through him as he pulled back a little. "Erwin…" The Commander sat up, lips curled into a grin. It was easy to move to straddle Eren and press him flat onto the bed. His tan chest rose and fell with quick breaths. Reddened lips parted as glazed turquoise orbs raked over Erwin's form and he did the same to Eren, studying the ripples of muscle and the contours of his body. When Eren had joined the Legion he had been lithe - muscular but distinctly less so than many of his peers and superiors. He had put on muscle weight and grown, his height near Erwin's though he had never quite managed to fill out in the way that Arlert and Kirstein had. "Eren… you're beautiful." The Shifter flushed, glancing around wildly for a moment before his gaze hardened and he cupped Erwin's face. "I could say the same for you." The Commander released a huffed laugh and dipped low, down to Eren's chest. He pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat, then his collarbones before he moved and pressed his cheek to Eren's chest, just over his heart. The steady, even throb greeted him, familiar and welcome for reasons he couldn't quite explain. It was strangely comforting in the way that it was whenever they returned from an expedition and they couldn't quite believe they were still alive, that they had survived yet another foray into the dangerous world of there. "Erwin…" "Mmm?" "Erwin… look at me." The blonde sat up, head tipped to the side and brows scrunched up with confusion. "What is it?" The brunette released a heavy sigh and sat up as well. Warm palms settled on his cheeks, pulling Erwin's face down until they were eye-to-eye. There was such a melancholy in his eyes, unfamiliar and strange in comparison to the normal joy and warmth and energy in those beautiful blue-green orbs. "Erwin… since when do you drown in grief?" "... What?" "Erwin, remember? You're dreaming. I'm dead." Eren's thumb swept across Erwin's cheeks, smoothing the skin as a forlorn smile curled the corners of his mouth. "Erwin… I let them execute me for a reason. I wanted you to live because this world still needs you. So… please, cry for me, but don't shut everyone away. Let Hanji and Levi in. Let them be there for you." Everything was blurry. His eyes burned, fuck, they burned so much. Erwin's mouth opened but no words left him, just a soft release of breath. Tears dripped down his cheeks, slow and steady as he stared at Eren, at the ghost of the man he had loved. "Eren… but…" "Erwin. I love you. I'll always love you. And I'll be waiting on you on the other side for as long as I need to, so take your time. Please." "I… Alright."
His cheeks were damp when his eyes cracked open, tears silently slipping down his face to collect on the pillow that had once been Eren's. Erwin rolled over and threw an arm over his face, a pathetic attempt to block out the world as he silently sobbed. Eren… Eren, Eren, Eren… Eren, I love you. Wait for me. Wait for me.