"…You know, I was thinking…I was thinking, maybe…"
Castle stopped, his gaze suddenly dropping to the floor.
"I should probably go home, get some rest. It's been a long day." He paused, a hurt expression clouding his face. "Goodnight."
Kate let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding. That morning, in the freezer, when she'd thought it was over…she'd almost told him how much she loved him. But she never got the chance. So why, in the middle of the precinct, when they both had the rest of their lives to live, had he backed down? 'Goodnight' was hardly what he had meant to say. She could see that all over his face.
"Goodnight."
Castle turned on his heel and walked toward the elevators. The usual bounce in his step was gone. Kate stared after him, hurt and confused.
A pair of arms snaked around her waist, and a set of lips softly kissed her ear. A small, forced smile appeared on her lips as she turned, knowing exactly whom she would see.
"Oh, hey," she said dejectedly, her mind toying with different ideas as to what to do. She hugged the tall, slim frame of her boyfriend Josh as she turned her head towards the exit of the precinct.
She could see Castle walking in the direction of the doors. Her heart ached as she watched him press the 'down' button and she almost shattered to pieces when the doors opened immediately.
She had choices. Lots of them. She could follow him, leaving Josh in the dust. She could throw herself between the doors and tell that man how she was in love with him and how he made her feel.
Or there was the other option. She could stand there, in the middle of the precinct, hugging a man that she felt nothing for anymore. She could do what she was supposed to do, by the rules of society. She could stay with the person that she knew would keep her world official and routine, the way it had always been.
But maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what she needed. Maybe she needed the sense of adventure that came along with Castle. Maybe she needed to have a little fun sometimes. Maybe routine needed to go out the window. She knew she would still be safe with Castle, no matter what. But she didn't need to hold herself back. She didn't need to worry about anything because he would always protect her, but she could still be wild and crazy and fun.
She looked up at Josh's confused, brown eyes. He had noticed her deep in thought. His eyes were beautiful, and they made her feel so amazing. He made her feel so amazing. Did she really want to leave him?
Her mind was made up. "Josh, I need to do something. Can you wait here?"
The doctor looked as confused as ever, but he obliged. He stepped back and let her pass.
Kate bolted for the stairs. The elevator doors were closed; Castle was on his way to the ground floor. She could always wait for the next elevator, but then finding him, catching him, would only be a hope.
Pulling the door to the staircase open, she took the steps two at a time, a near-impossible feat in her four-inch spike heels. Her curled hair was pushed back, and for once, she didn't care. All that mattered to her was the man that would inevitably be at the bottom of those stairs.
Finally, she saw the door that led outside. Barrelling through it, she was slapped and blindsided by the frigid March air. It was then that she realized that she didn't have a coat, but she didn't care in the slightest.
She scanned the street for any sign of him. His coat, his hair, his car. But she saw nothing. Only the classic New Yorkers, milling around the city and rushing to get to places they needed to be.
Then, she saw what she was looking for.
Across the road, on the opposite sidewalk, a man was sitting on a bench sipping a Starbucks coffee. She knew the exact kind of coffee in the man's hand and she knew what was probably going through his mind at that moment. A grin broke across her face.
Disregarding any common sense or logic, she started across the road.
Richard Castle sighed.
It was so unfair. How could two people that were so perfect for each other be separated by someone else? How was it fair that he'd had so many chances to tell her how he felt, but never ended up getting being able to? It didn't make sense to him. The master of words, for once in his life, was drawing a blank.
He turned his head and looked back at the building of the precinct. If only he wasn't there, he thought sadly. I'd have told her.
'Goodnight' was not what he'd wanted to say in the slightest. He'd wanted to tell her how he felt, how much he was in love with her. Turning away and walking to the elevators was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He'd never felt anything this strong for anyone but Kate, and the last thing he wanted to do was leave her. But with Josh there, and with Kate thinking the two of them had a chance, what could he do?
He took another sip of his coffee, accepting defeat. He knew that if he and Kate were meant to be, they would have been together already. He knew that if she really thought she had a chance with Doctor Motorcycle Boy, then they would have a chance—
"Rick!"
He heard the cry and turned—and couldn't believe what he saw next.
Kate was running across the street, dodging taxis and cars, bolting past tourists and pedestrians. Her hair was swept back by the wind, and she wasn't wearing a coat.
But the look in her eyes made Castle's heart stop. The green irises were wild with exhilaration and excitement, and they held so much emotion behind them. He stood and stared at her, confused and bewildered.
"Kate?"
"Rick, listen, I—"
"Kate, I have to tell you—"
"It's taken us so long, but—"
"Maybe we could—"
"Oh, my God, Castle, could you shut up so I can talk?"
Rick smirked. This was the Beckett he loved to see.
"Rick, listen. I know you didn't mean to say what you did. I know you saw Josh and couldn't finish your sentence. But we've had so many chances to make things right between us. And the fact that we almost died at least twice in the past two days really says something. I think we're supposed to try this out, try to make something work between us. I don't care about Josh anymore. He can't be there for me and we both know it. But in that tent, when we were being treated, I know I was talking about you. I know that you could always be there for me, and honestly, I want that. I want us, Rick." She stopped to take a breath, but before she could continue, he stepped in with his own way of showing how he felt.
Closing the gap between them, he placed his hands on the detective's waist, pulling her close to him. Her eyes, wide and full of emotion, stared up into his lovingly.
His lips crashed down onto hers in a jumble of built-up passion and impatience. He'd waited so long to do this. To meet her lips with this kind of fire. Sure, they'd kissed before, but that had been strictly business, regardless of whether or not it had felt like something more. But this…this was so many levels of different.
The rest of the world disappeared around them. Kate couldn't hear the sounds of the taxi horns, or the angry drivers or the screaming kids. She couldn't hear any of it. Because in that moment, all that existed for her was him.
After time, they both pulled back for air. She pressed her forehead to his, her heart rate returning to normal.
"Rick?"
"Yes, Kate?"
"I want this. Always."
He smiled, pulling her closer.
"Always and forever, Kate."