Title: Comics Day
Author: Capt40
Email:dgise@yahoo.com
Rating: All Ages
Summary: A short Willow/Xander friendship piece, set a few weeks after the Harvest, about Xander's first Jesse-less foray to the comics shop.
Spoilers: Through The Harvest
Disclaimer: As with all fic Buffy, this stuff belongs not to me but to Joss Whedon and his allies.
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"I thought I'd find you here."
"In no way can I be expected to name the movie for that one," Xander said. The bright fuzz of a new tennis ball glowed in the sunlight as it shot back and forth from the shop wall to his hand.
Willow sat down next to him on the curb, carefully tucking her skirt under her.
"That's fair, I guess."
He snagged the ball from the air and spoke without looking at her. "Shouldn't you be in class, Willow?"
"Sick today," she said simply. "What about you?"
"Class? Ha. Class is for people who can both sit and learn. I, on the other hand, am studiously working at the art of sitting. Only when I have mastered that can I attempt to learn."
"Xander…" Her voice had that tone in it, but she wasn't really upset. She knew why he had skipped today.
"Willow…" He mimicked her. "You don't look so much with the sick, Wills."
"Call it the friendship virus." She blushed at the thought of blatantly skipping school. With her parents out of town again, though, it was no big deal. "I thought you might need … I knew today was the day they came in and I thought you'd be here for it." She gestured to the shop in front of them. The garish sign read 'Mike and Dave's House o' Fun' in blue and green letters. Posters new and old smothered the plate glass windows at the front, touting the virtues of heroes like Green Lantern, Flash, and the X-Men.
"That was the plan. And can I just say it's gone swimmingly so far? Because it has. If you're swimming in a pool with no water while being clubbed to death by baby seals."
"Did you go in yet?"
He shook his head. Tears welled up in his eyes and his lids lowered as he fought them back. Willow's soft hand caressed his shoulder.
"You don't have to, Xand. Not yet. You could wait."
"I … I can't, Wills. I can't let this thing stop me from living my life. As dumb as it sounds, the stuff they sell in there is a big part of it. I can't stop going in there because ... because Jesse isn't around to go in there with me."
"I know." She felt her heart break as a tear fought its way past his defenses. "But?"
"I can't seem to do it alone."
"Do you want me to go with you?
Xander turned to her, eyes wide with disbelief.
"Are you serious? Do you remember?"
Willow had only ever been comic shopping with Xander and Jesse once, back when they were 12. The whole concept fascinated her; they had teased and taunted her for weeks about the 'secret guy things' that went on in the comic book shop. Finally, after almost a month of torment, they relented and brought her in.
God, had she been disappointed.
Secret guy things? Like standing around counting papercuts from boxes of comics in plastic sleeves? Even though it was a precious invitation from Xander, she moved from 'fascinated' to 'struggling not to die from boredom' in about ten minutes.
Until, of course, she had taken two steps backwards and bumped up against a nightmare made real.
"Okay, that was so not my fault! What kind of a store has a giant wolf-man on display anyway? And what was that thing made of, plaster? Those claws were huge! And the fangs … it was ooky."
The memory of Willow's shriek of terror cut momentarily through his sadness and drew a bark of laughter. She had spun around, red braid whipping across her shoulders, taken one look at the twice-life-sized bust of a werewolf, and made a madcap dash out of the store. On the way, four innocent display stands had lost their lives. He and Jesse had helped the owner, Mike, clean up for an hour, with the three of them laughing the entire time.
"Well, last I recall, the Wolfman display was long gone. Actually, Jesse was wondering if we should buy …" He trailed off in midsentence, clenching his fist until the knuckles were white rather than start crying.
She waited quietly until he had himself calmed down.
"Xander, can I ask you something?" Her heart involuntarily thudded; the question that followed this one in her dreams (and, yikes, nightmares) was the one that made her the most uncomfortable.
Not the time or the place for that, though, she told herself.
He looked up and nodded.
"Is it the comics, or the store?"
"Whaddayou mean?"
"I mean is it the thought of reading the comics or buying the comics or buying the comics here?"
"Kind of …" He paused, thinking about it. "Reading them, I guess. And buying them. It's sort of a literary consumer thing, you know? We've been doing this together for so long … now we won't … not ever …"
She pressed on. "'Cuz if it's the store, we could go somewhere else, or we could not go at all and get ice cream instead, or we could …" He had his head in his hands and she could hear his strangled breaths; the sorry image made her want to cry, too. How could she have been so stupid? She wasn't helping. She was making him miserable. "I should go," she said hurriedly, rising to leave and avoid putting Xander in anymore pain.
"What? Why? What?"
"I keep making you more miserable every time I open my mouth." She spun to leave, needing a serious cry herself. Jesse was gone, and she was putting the torch to her oldest friendship by trying to help. Another typical Willow mess.
Xander was off the curb in an instant, forcing his arm around her waist and holding her in place. He slowly turned her to face him, her luminous green eyes meeting his dark brown ones.
"Willow," he said carefully, "you're the only thing holding me together. You CAN'T go. I need you, need your strength. You're my best friend, Wills. Look at you, cutting school, going outlaw. Who else would do that for me?" He shook his head. "No one. I've known you forever, right? Longer than I knew Jesse. You guys, you're the only real friends I ever had." He sniffed back another tear. "You're the only real family I ever had, Will. Don't think you're making me miserable. Please don't think that. You're keeping me alive."
The tears ran freely down her face, leaving deep tracks on her pale skin. They wrapped their arms around each other; she could feel him shake with silent pain as they clutched each other for dear life. It was the most powerful moment of her life, and it seemed to last forever. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were as wet as hers.
"Whoa," he said, letting out a deep breath.
"Yeah," she agreed, feeling the meaning in it. She glanced at the comic book store and saw the two owners watching them through the window. Mike, his long dark hair matted in dreadlocks, had a small smile on his face and was obviously commenting on the scene; Dave, the shorter, bald majority owner, scowled and elbowed his partner. He knew full well what had happened to Jesse. He caught Willow's eye and nodded, then pulled Mike away from the window to give them some privacy.
"Xand?"
"Yeah, Will?"
"Do you want to still …" She gestured to the door.
"Will you come with me?"
"Of course."
"Then yeah, I think I can manage."
He took her hand and they walked through the door.