So I just wanted to put a disclaimer here and say that this is my first ever fic. I'm sorry for the bad title, I really couldn't think of anything. Also sorry for any mistakes, I didn't have a beta or anyone to proof. I also hadn't seen the Djinn episode from season 2 since I first watched it a couple of years ago.
Also I guess I have to say that it's not really set at any particular time. I hadn't started season 6 when I wrote it (didn't know the Djinns would be back!) but I knew about the war in heaven because I had skipped ahead and watched the meta episode (I couldn't wait!). In any case, Sam has his soul and Cas is obviously not as an important player in the war in heaven as he turned out to be in season 6.
So here is my attempt at Team Free Will fluff, with a slight Dean/Cas focus. Sam's bitchface makes an appearance or two, as does Dean's complete lack of tact. Enjoy!
It takes them entirely too long to figure it out. They haven't run into a Djinn in so long that even Sam doesn't put it together in his research until Castiel has been gone for hours. Dean is getting extremely tetchy and kicks the bedpost when he realizes how slow they've been.
"Motherfucker!" Dean swears as he limps over to the door of their motel room. "Come on dude, we're searching every abandoned hovel within a 20 mile radius right now."
"Do you really think it got Cas? I would have thought he'd be able to tell what's reality and what's not…" Sam says hesitantly.
"Whatever he's dreaming of, it must be good…" Dean says quietly. Why hadn't Castiel figured it out, like Dean had? Although that alternate reality was good, it wasn't perfect and it wasn't particularly hard to figure out what was going on, after the ghost girl kept following him around and all. He'd always wondered about that. If the reality were entirely the creation of the Djinn, why would it have put that in there? Why would it have wanted Dean to doubt, rather than go on happily until he was sucked dry? Oh well, it didn't matter right now, and no matter how good Castiel's alternate reality was if they didn't wake him up he was going to die in a matter of days.
"I think there are three possible places it could be, looking at where the last three victims have gone missing from," Sam says as he grabs a silver knife.
"Let's go," Dean huffs impatiently as he heads out to the Impala.
…
The Djinn's lair is in the third place they check, of course, and they already wasted time finding the lamb's blood to kill it with. Dean is about ready to burst in there, guns blazing, when Sam puts a hand on his shoulder and a finger to his lips. They sneak into the old barn to find the Djinn feeding off one of the missing girls. Sam can see Cas' outline in the dark corner, a chink of light bouncing off Jimmy's shiny business shoes each time Cas' body swings slightly into the moonlight. Dean is pointedly concentrating on the Djinn, not daring to look at Cas yet.
After a brief scuffle the Djinn is dead and Sam is gently helping the girls down and out of their chains while Dean tries to wake Cas up.
"Cas, hey, wake up man," Dean says as he unties Cas' wrists. "It's okay, we're here, you're okay…" he trails off, slightly embarrassed. "Back to reality, bucko," he says in a more manly manner, slapping Cas' cheeks.
Cas groans and lets Dean lift him awkwardly down. He's weak from being fed on by the Djinn and Dean squats with his knees bent waiting for Cas to wake up properly.
"Dean…" Cas says, and licks his lips.
"I'm here dude, let's get you back to a bed." Dean loops his arm around Castiel and pulls him up to stand. Sam comes over with the three other girls, all their arms looped around each other to hold them up.
"Well, this might be a squishy ride," Dean says. Then he notices how skinny the girls are, two of them having been missing for a week now. "Maybe not," he huffs as he drags Castiel out of the barn.
After they've dropped the last girl off, Dean moves into the back seat to check on Castiel while Sam drives them back to the motel. "You alright there dude? You look like you had one hell of a fight with that thing before it got you," Dean says, eyeing Castiel's bruises and weary frame. "How did it beat you, anyway?"
"I… was careless," Castiel manages weakly. "I saw the three girls and didn't watch my back."
"Why didn't you just wait for us?" Sam offers from the front seat.
"I can feel my Grace leaving," Cas says resignedly, and Dean almost gasps, but he doesn't because that would be girly. Cas continues, "I wanted to reassure myself that I was still strong and I could still do this by myself. It was… a mistake."
"No shit Sherlock," Dean says, catching a bitch-face from Sam in the rear-view mirror. "I mean… that's gotta suck Cas, I'm sorry, but you're not freaking superman dude, you gotta let us help you, just a little. We got your back." Dean really wants to know what Cas dreamed off that was so good he didn't break out and bring himself back to reality like Dean did, but he doesn't ask because Castiel's eyelids are drooping.
"I know…" Cas mumbles before he passes out.
"Shit man, he even sleeps now," Dean says to Sam quietly as they pull up into the motel parking lot.
Sam and Dean carry Cas into the motel easily, he's lighter than Dean expects, even with the Djinn draining him for a few hours. Dean gives up his bed and steals one of Sam's blankets before settling on the floor.
…
Cas is still asleep when Dean wakes up to the smell of coffee. Sam is holding a cup in front of Dean's face with one hand, while reading the paper with the other.
"Thanks," grunts Dean, still a little sleepy. His shoulder and hip aches from sleeping on the floor. "Reckon we should wake him?"
"Not yet, I was thinking I could go get breakfast for him. If his Grace really is going and he's sleeping now, I bet he's gonna be hungry like the wolves," Sam says, his forehead crinkling in concern.
"Good idea. I'll have pancakes with a side of eggs and bacon," Dean says and gives Sam a dazzling smile.
"Jerk."
"Bitch."
Cas stirs as the Impala's engine rumbles to life as Sam goes to find a diner that does take-away.
"Dean…" Cas croaks. Dean is by his side in an instant, surprising even himself.
"Yeah man, how're you feeling? What do you need?" Dean tries not to sound to motherly.
"I… I feel like there's a …balloon in my stomach, but that there's also a… a weight," Cas says, tripping over his words, clearly at a loss to understand what the hell is going on.
"Ah. Cas, meet Hunger. Hunger, meet Cas. Hopefully your friendship doesn't last too long, sorry."
Cas just tilts his head to the side and stares at Dean as he sits up in bed.
"Jesus Cas, how long do you reckon it's been since Jimmy ate something?" Dean spares a thought for the poor man, who he hopes is up in Heaven, having too good a time to pay attention to what's happening to his old body down here. It's certainly not been his body since he let Cas have it instead of his daughter's, and Dean just can't imagine that Jimmy's soul went to Hell.
Castiel groans which brings Dean out of his little reverie quick smart. "Take it easy Cas," Dean says, putting his hand on the apparently now ex-angel's shoulder to stop him getting out of bed.
"I have no broken bones, just bruises," Castiel remarks, as he removes Dean's hand from his shoulder. Dean shivers slightly at the touch. "If I am now human, in a loose sense of the word, I think I should take a shower."
Dean laughs at that. "You can use my shampoo, it's on the sink."
…
Sam returns to find Cas sitting in his business pants and shirt, no shoes or tie, hair dripping, staring at the carpet. What's with him? Sam mouths to Dean. Dean shrugs and moves over to the bench where Sam dumps the brown paper bags that smell like heaven.
"He hasn't said a word since he got out of the shower," Dean whispers, reaching for his pancakes.
"You haven't talked to him?" Sam whispers back, raising his eyebrows.
"Wha m'I schpsed d'schay?" Dean says around a mouth full of bacon.
"The guy is losing his Grace, dude, you could be a little sympathetic," Sam whispers angrily.
"That's you're department man," Dean says after a gulp.
"Not in this case," Sam replies. "Never has been."
Before Dean can figure out what the hell that's supposed to mean, he jumps as Castiel speaks. "I have lost my Grace, not my hearing." Shit. "I appreciate the concern, Sam. But right now, I need to consume whatever food Dean has left, and quickly."
Sam laughs at that and hands the bag over to Cas. He sees Dean's crestfallen face and laughs again. "I got extra," he says, and hands another bag to Dean. Dean however, only eats a little bit, and hands the rest over without a sound when Cas has finished his first lot. Sam raises his eyebrows and his lips twitch, but Dean doesn't notice. He's too busy concentrating on what the hell exactly Sam wants him to say.
"So uh… no angel radio anymore?" He asks Cas hesitantly.
"It's still there, but it's very faint. It won't last much longer," Cas replies, resting his fork on the pile of empty containers.
"That's gotta be a good thing, right? Hearing that in your head all the time's gotta be freaking annoying," Dean offers.
"It was a comfort and a useful resource," Cas says in a monotone. Shit. Dean looks at his brother but Sam just raises his eyebrows and shoulders and tips his head towards Castiel a couple times. Since whatever he says is going to make it worse anyway, Dean gives up and asks the question gnawing at him since they realised what they were hunting.
"Cas… what did the Djinn make you dream about?"
"Dean," Sam sighs in frustration.
Dean tries to catch Cas' eyes, but he's looking at his fork as if more food will appear if he just stares hard enough. And he blushes. Holy shit, Dean thinks, Cas is actually blushing.
"It is not of import," Cas says, his tone indicating the end of the conversation. "I… I'm going for a walk…" he says, as if the very idea of walking revolts him. Dean feels bad then, realising that Cas can no longer fly.
As soon as Cas is out the door Dean tries to pack up their breakfast stuff to avoid having to meet Sam's eyes.
"Dean," Sam says disapprovingly. "You have absolutely no tact whatsoever. I'm going after Cas, just stay here alright?"
Sam leaves a disgruntled Dean in the motel room and heads out the door to find Castiel leaning against the hood of the Impala. Dean peeks a look out the window but can't hear what his two friends are saying. He stops to analyse that thought as he slumps down on the motel bed that Cas slept on last night. Friends? Yeah. That's definitely the word for it. Cas had been hanging around them long enough now and while he's still pretty unreadable, since he's not human and all, Dean feels like he can relate to him a lot more than he used to. Dean tries to squash the selfish thought that it might be a good thing that Cas has lost his Grace because it puts them on more even footing and might make their weird trio of relationships work a bit better. As much as he loves Sammy, Dean likes having someone else around too, and wouldn't mind if the three of them just went on as they were indefinitely. You know, saving people, hunting things.
He doesn't dare think about that too hard though, because he knows all good things come to an end and the forces of the universe never just let him be. And he doesn't really deserve to have a friend. Before a niggling voice in the back of Dean's mind starts questioning his definition of the word "friend", Cas and Sam come back into the motel room.
It's an odd sight, because Sam has this huge fucking grin on his face while Castiel looks excruciatingly awkward and embarrassed. Now that he knows Castiel is not a badass angel, Dean's "protective mode" kicks in. "What the hell did you do to him, Sammy?" He asks his brother with a shove to his shoulder.
Sam just grins wider, the annoying little shit, before turning to Cas. "Go on, Cas. You'll never know if you don't tell him. Well, you will cause I told you that I know he feels the same, but this is confirmation or closure or whatever the hell you want to call it, for both of you."
Before Dean can decipher that, Cas picks his eyes off the floor and stares at Dean, and that hasn't changed much between being angel and human, it's still as intense as hell. Dean holds it though, wanting to know what the fuck is going on.
"Dean…" Cas says, gaining more confidence. "The Djinn got me so easily because I was distracted by my loss of Grace. At the moment he put me to sleep, I was contemplating what I would do without it. It was a weak moment for me, and my now human subconscious is obviously not as strong as yours. Your subconscious fought against the Djinn to let you know that what you were seeing was not reality, not what you wanted. My subconscious left me to go merrily on my way into the world created by the Djinn."
Dean is surprised at that. So the Djinn hadn't planted the seeds of doubt in Dean's imaginary world, but his own subconscious had. He started to wonder how fucked up that was, that his own mind didn't want him to be happy, when Castiel took a breath and continued.
"I dreamed that I stayed with you and Sam. That we hunted together and lived relatively happy lives, not needing much more than each other's company and the will to save people. You…. You made me an FBI badge."
Dean's eyebrows rise as he contemplates that. Isn't that been exactly what he'd just been thinking about? "Cas-" he starts, but Castiel cuts him off.
"Dean, while I would not object to receiving my Grace back, the fact that the Djinn showed me a human scenario instead of being an angel again is… interesting. I have been struggling with this since you woke me up. But I do know this: I am human now, or almost, and I can't see a way to get my Grace back while the battle in heaven rages on."
Dean can hear the un-asked question lingering in the air between them. Can I stay with you?
Sam can obviously hear it too, because he says quietly, "You know my standpoint Cas, I'd love to have you around," before pulling a bitchface at Dean over Cas' shoulder, obviously warning him not to fuck this up and he had better have something profound to say to the poor conflicted ex-angel.
"Dude, you have no idea how refreshing it is to talk to someone who's not a giant girl," Dean starts, a grin spreading across his face, because his angel, well, his sort-of-not-anymore angel is staying with them instead of gallivanting off to heaven half the time. "And hey, now we have plenty of time to teach you all those movie references you're so oblivious to!"
Sam smirks and Cas' shoulders relax, the corner of his mouth twitching up just slightly. They both know Dean well enough to realise that this is his way of saying fuck yes please stay forever this is what I wanted all along without being a "giant girl".
…
They're sitting at a diner later that day and Cas is onto his third slice of pie. The niggling voice in the back of Dean's mind has not shut up since this morning, and Dean finally gives in to the idea that what he and Cas have might be more than just friends. That's as far as he's going though, he wants the voice to shut up so he can enjoy his damn pie.
Profound bond.
He's an angel.
Not anymore.
Well he's new to this whole human thing; I don't wanna fuck that up.
He'd want me to be the one to show him how to be human.
I'm straight.
Am I though? Does it even matter?
Jimmy?
Jimmy's soul left his body when he let Castiel back in. He's in heaven.
Cas wouldn't feel the same.
PROFOUND. FUCKING. BOND.
LET ME EAT MY PIE IN PEACE DAMMIT.
Sam, acutely aware that something is raging behind Dean's eyes, excuses himself to go to the bathroom.
"Thsch isch d'l'schusch," Cas manages through a mouth full of pie. Dean turns to him and laughs more than he has in a long time. Castiel tilts his head to side and watches the joy spread across Dean's face, swallows the pie and starts to laugh too. This makes Dean laugh more, because it's such a human thing and it's funny to see Cas do it.
"Gotta love ya, Cas," Dean says catching his breath. Cas' hand is resting on the table next to his bowl of pie. Without thinking too hard about it, Dean lifts his own hand and places it over Castiel's. "I'm glad you're here, Cas," he says, giving the smooth hand under his a small squeeze. "I'm glad you're staying."
Cas looks at their hands, then at Dean, and says "Thankyou, Dean" with such genuine warmth that Dean still feels breathless as though he only just stopped laughing. He thinks that if he can just keep being the one to make that smile appear on his ex-angel's face, the universe could throw anything at him.
Sam returns from the bathroom to find Dean and Cas concentrating very fixedly on eating their pies, both with smiles still plastered to their faces. This makes Sam smile, and when he bends down to tie his shoelace he notices the fingers locked together resting on the opposite seat between Dean and Cas. He too decides that his pie needs the utmost concentration to eat right at that moment, and he too can't wipe the smile off his face.