Author: TxJAG_b aka TnJAGAz
Category: Vignette
Rating: G/PG
Classification: Humor in straitlaced Turner dealing with lothario Gregory Vukovic
Spoilers: Takes place toward the end of Season 10 before Fair Winds and Following Seas.
Summary: 2005 JAG Fanfiction Awards – 3rd Place Winner
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Donald Bellisario, Belisaurius Productions, Paramount Pictures and Columbia Broadcasting Service Entertainment – this story is for non-profit entertainment of JAG and NCIS fans only. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.
1427 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Day One…
Commander Sturgis Turner was finishing up the last of his paperwork on the Mendez investigation. It had been a long and drawn out affair and the Bubblehead was looking forward to some downtime this evening.
As he put the finishing touches on his investigative notes, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie knocked on his doorframe.
The former submarine officer hit the 'document save' icon on his computer and looked up. "Come on in, Mac. What can I do for you?"
The pretty Marine attorney looked around apprehensively as she stepped into the room. "Sturgis," she said in quiet hurried voice, "I need a favor."
Despite her odd behavior, Sturgis smiled disarmingly trying to put her at ease. "Judging from that look on your face, I'm a little wary Mac."
She gave him a weary look. "After you hear the favor, you may be *a lot* wary, Commander."
Sturgis Turner motioned to the chair in front of his desk and Mac. "It can't be that bad, Mac. What's the favor?"
She sat down and crossed her legs. "The General is sending me out on a JAGMan investigation to the Peleieu—she's currently conducting maneuvers off the Virginia coast."
The Bubblehead was intrigued. "Okay, so what is the favor?"
Mac bit her lower lip. "I need you to work with Lieutenant Vukovic while I'm gone."
Sturgis had heard about the Lieutenant's antics and about his behavior during his recent investigation with Lieutenant Graves. He wasn't sure 'working with him' would describe any effort to supervise this young hotshot.
"'Work with him', Mac?" Sturgis put on his game face. "How do you want me to 'work with him'?"
"It's not like I'm asking you to baby-sit him, Sturgis." Mac said defensively.
"That's what it sounds like to me, Colonel." He said evenly.
She sighed, knowing that the Bubblehead was on to her. Now it time level with the man. "Look, the General has sort of made me his supervisor."
"'His supervisor,'" Sturgis repeated the words back to her as if he was having trouble understanding what she said – in fact the opposite was true, he just wanted to see if she would stick with this version of the truth any longer than she had the other. The favor had changed to a request and he figured would soon evolve into something else if he held out much longer.
"Yes," Mac said huffily, becoming annoyed with this game, "his supervisor. Look Sturgis, he needs to have someone for him to report to and someone to oversee his caseload while I'm gone, if you don't want to-" She started to get up from the chair.
"Look Mac, I understand your position, but I'm kinda swamped myself, can't you do this from the Peleieu?" it was a white lie, but he figured he was owed the break after nearly getting charged with contempt for defending Bud in that civilian court. And then on top of that, having to face General Cresswell's intense scrutiny when the man thought he was showing Bud favoritism after investigating the incident in that Anger Management class.
Mac poked a big hole in that idea. "I'll be incommunicado while I'm on board."
"Incommunicado?"
"Yep."
"For how long?"
Don't know," she said cryptically.
"When do you get back?"
"Don't know," she repeated.
"You know, you sound like you have been taking lessons from Special Agent Webb, Mac."
"Don't go there Sturgis," she said grimly.
"Then what aren't you telling me – besides the obvious, that is. And why can't the General oversee the Lieutenant's work while you're gone?"
Mac made a face. "He's got more important things to do, Sturgis. He told me due to the nature of this investigation, to find someone else to be Vukovic's supervisor while I'm gone."
"What about Harm?"
Mac blew out a frustrated breath. "He's at the hospital with Mattie. Sturgis, if you're not interested, just say so, I can ask Bud-"
She started to get up again to leave when the former submarine officer had an attack of conscience. After all, he wanted to repair his tattered relations with Mac – this might be just that opportunity.
"Hold on Mac, I didn't say I wasn't interested, I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into," he explained lamely.
She stopped and pinned him with a hopeful look. "So you'll do it?"
"Yeah, I'll do it." He said in a low voice. Then he caught her eyes. "By the way, thanks for keeping me informed about Mattie's condition. I'm sure Harm appreciates what you're doing."
That earned Sturgis a warm smile but a faraway look in her eyes, as if there was something more to tell. "Yeah, he does."
"Is there something else going on you're not telling me about?" he probed.
Mac gave him a direct but friendly look. "I'm just helping a friend Sturgis," The Bubblehead sensed it was time to drop this line of questioning.
Then she was back to being all business, but with a lighter tone in her voice. "Thanks Sturgis, you're a lifesaver."
He shot her a playful warning look. "Just don't let me regret this Mac."
She just gave him a small winsome smile.
xxixx
Jennifer Coates looked up as Lieutenant Greg Vukovic made his way into the bullpen. As he came close, she handed him a sheaf of pink message slips. "Lieutenant, these messages are for you."
Greg stopped and gave her his sly smile. "Thanks Jennifer," then a thought hit him, why was the General's Yeoman doing office manager duties?
"Don't we have an office manager to take care of this kind of thing?" he asked.
Jennifer scrunched up her face as if she had smelled something sour. "He hasn't found anyone that he likes yet, Sir."
Greg Vukovic chuckled at her stiffness in addressing him. She really didn't need to be that formal with him. "It's Greg, Jennifer."
Jen Coates felt a blush creeping into her face. "Only after hours, Sir" she returned quickly, but she did it with a small smile to let him know she appreciated the compliment.
"Then how about this evening?" he pressed.
"I-I'm taking a night class Sir," said Coates. She was a little more flustered than she thought she should be.
"Oh?" he said appearing genuinely interested. "What in?"
"The Psychology of Interpersonal Relationships," she replied, then realized it sounded like a dodge to avoid a date.
Someone else would have backed off at this point, but not Greg Vukovic. "I can help with that," he said flashing her his 'knock'em dead' smile.
"Lieutenant Vukovic,"
Greg turned to see Commander Sturgis Turner standing behind him.
"Commander Turner," he said smoothly, not missing a beat, "How is your afternoon going Sir?"
"Passable Lieutenant. Did you have a chance to talk with Colonel MacKenzie yet?"
"Ah, no Sir…." He said a little uneasily, shifting his eyes to do a quick scan of the room. What had he done *now* to piss off Mac? "I've been doing some follow-up on the Johnson case with Catherine, er, I-I mean Lieutenant Graves, Sir."
"Why don't we step into my office, Lieutenant?"
"Yes Sir," As Sturgis headed to his office door, Greg turned back toward Jennifer and mouthed 'What did I do?' Jen gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged her shoulders.
Greg Vukovic followed the Commander into his office.
Petty Officer Coates watched as the former submariner closed his door and his blinds. She turned back to her terminal and breathed a sigh of relief.
Commander Sturgis Turner walked over and sat down at his desk and invited Lieutenant Vukovic to sit down in the chair in front of his desk. The Lieutenant elected to remain standing. This did not fluster the former submariner a bit. He sat down at his desk and began looking at the correspondence Jen brought to his office earlier in the morning.
"Lieutenant, the Colonel has asked me to work with you while she conducts a JAGMan investigation."
Greg's eyes widened. "Where Sir, that is, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Unknown." Commander Turner stopped looking at his paperwork and glanced up at him. "Lieutenant, do you have a problem working with me?"
Greg realized what he had intimated. "No Sir, absolutely not! What gave you that idea, Sir?"
"Just want to make sure we get off on the right foot, Lieutenant."
"Understood Sir, and if I may so, Sir, I think we'll get along just fine."
Sturgis didn't say anything for a moment. 'This guy cockier than Mac let on' "That'll be all Lieutenant."
Greg Vukovic looked stoically at the Commander 'So much for flattery,' "Aye, aye Sir." Lieutenant Vukovic executed a perfect about face, opened the door and started to leave the room.
"Oh and Lieutenant?"
Greg stopped and turned back toward him. "Yes Sir?"
"Try to limit the asking of dates to the break room and remember the rules regarding fraternization."
The shock on Greg's face was quickly replaced by a serious face.
"Aye Sir." He said quietly.
Sturgis watched him leave and shook his head.
1432 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Day Three…
"Good morning Catherine," said Greg sipping form this Styrofoam cup as the entered the bullpen.
"Good morning Lieutenant," she gave him a playful smile. "You're here early."
He grimaced. "Giving my morning briefing to Commander Turner,"
"Wow, he's way more efficient than Colonel MacKenzie," said Catherine Graves. She was impressed that Commander Turner was able to get the playboy Lieutenant into the office before 9:15 a.m.
"Yeah," he said disgustedly "Look, do me a favor," he handed her his briefcase, "stash this in my office for me?"
She gave him a coy look. "What's in it for me?"
"My undying gratitude," he said quickly and then gave her a pleading look. "Please?"
"Sure," she relented "go on, before you're late for your meeting with the Commander."
"You're a treasure Catherine, thanks." He hurried down the hall to Sturgis Turner's office.
The former submariner was looking at a memo from the General regarding staffing for the upcoming Memorial Day weekend when he heard a knock on his door.
"Come."
Greg quickly slipped in and came to attention. "Sorry to be late Commander, there was a traffic accident on the Beltway-"
"Yesterday it was a stalled out delivery truck on the exit ramp…."
"Yes Sir, I know Sir," Greg did his best to look like he regretted it. The truth was the Lieutenant was having a hard time understanding why the Commander was busting his chops. At least when the Colonel reprimanded him, he had something pretty to look at.
"Lieutenant! Are you listening to me?"
Greg hadn't realized that the Commander was still talking to him. "Sorry Sir, I was thinking about the Holston court martial this afternoon-"
Commander Turner knew when he was being snowed. "Lieutenant when you're with me, *concentrate* on the here and now."
"Aye Sir."
"Lieutenant, you seem to have incredibly bad timing when it comes to reporting to work. Punctuality is the sign of a good officer."
"I'm sorry Sir, it won't happen again."
"Try leaving for work earlier or using a different route, Lieutenant."
"Aye, aye Sir."
"Dismissed, Lieutenant."
Sturgis shook his head as the Lieutenant left the room. Twice yesterday he had to reprimand him for overt flirting; once with Lieutenant Graves and once with Petty Officer Coates. This Lieutenant Vukovic seemed to be quite the Lothario 'Not unlike a certain former Top Gun used to be' mused the former submariner as he made a note on his deskpad about upcoming rotational Memorial Day duty for the Lieutenant.
1330 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Day Four…
Lieutenant Tali Mayfield gritted her teeth in barely concealed frustration with what was happening. "Objection your Honor, Counsel is leading the witness."
Judge Amy Helfman gave Gregory Vukovic a sharp look. "Lieutenant, I warned you before about this," she growled.
Greg smiled disarmingly. "It won't happen again, your Honor," the words flowed from his mouth like honey.
Commander Helfman, however, had already had breakfast. "Next time it's contempt Lieutenant," she frowned, hoping that he got the message, "get on with it."
Greg's smile vanished as he tried to get things back under his control. "Yes, your Honor."
He looked at the witness on the stand, Private Benichelli.
"Private, you knew the Corporal was drunk-"
"Objection!" Tali said. She couldn't believe after being warned that Greg was going to try this tactic again.
"Lieutenant you are in contempt of this court!" snapped Commander Helfman.
Greg didn't hear the rest. He stood rooted to the spot opening and closing his mouth like a fish gasping for air. For the first time since his arrival at JAG Headquarters, Gregory Vukovic was speechless.
"You deliberately went where she said not to go with this witness," intoned Sturgis Turner. His face looked as if it were made of stone.
Greg thought he could deal with the Commander, after all Commander Turner was known for pushing boundaries to win the case. "Commander, if you'll just let me explain-"
"You'll explain nothing Lieutenant," Sturgis cut him off sharply. "Report to Commander Helfman's office immediately."
"But Sir-"
"Are you hard of hearing Lieutenant? I said report to Commander Helfman's office…now!"
Greg started to open his mouth again, but then thought better of it. He came to attention. "Aye, aye Sir." He did an about face and exited the room.
Sturgis Turner scrubbed his hand across his face in agitation.
"I'll get you for this Mac," He said to no one in particular.
Day Five…
"Lieutenant!"
Gregory Vukovic froze in mid-compliment. The pretty young Petty Officer stifled a laugh as the Lieutenant turned to face an angry Commander Sturgis Turner.
"Lieutenant, walk with me please?"
The Petty Officer kept a stone face until the Commander was out of her line of sight, then she gave the Lieutenant a 'come hither' look only he could see.
Greg was not one to pass up a challenge – especially from a pretty girl. He started to wink at her—
"Lieutenant!"
The girl tittered as the Lieutenant Vukovic scurried to catch up with Turner.
"Lieutenant, we appear to have a problem…" said the Commander as if noting evidence in a perplexing case.
"We Sir?" repeated Greg smoothly.
"Are you taking Viagra, Lieutenant? Do you have a hormonal imbalance?"
Gregory Vukovic was taken aback. "No Sir! Why do you ask?"
"Your overactive libido Lieutenant. May I suggest alcohol?"
"Alcohol Sir? As in beer Sir?"
"It has a calming effect on overactive libidos, do you get my *drift*, Lieutenant?"
Greg swallowed audibly. "Sorry Sir, it won't happen again."
"See that it doesn't, Lieutenant."
"Aye Sir."
"Oh, and Lieutenant."
"Yessir?"
"We do not 'play grab ass' in the JAG Headquarters parking lot, understood?"
Greg did his best not to look chagrined at being caught. Again. "Understood Sir."
"And please don't say, 'understood sir' or 'sorry sir' or 'it won't happen again, commander'."
"Aye, aye Sir."
"Dismissed."
As the naval Commander started to head back to his office, he wondered just how much more of this he could take.
"Commander…," Major General Gordon Cresswell came down the hallway toward the Bubblehead.
"General," returned the Commander.
"How is it going with Lieutenant Vukovic?" he asked as only a Marine General could.
Sturgis had about a half a dozen different ways he could have answered that question. Two would have had him up on charges. The other three would have earned him a sharp reprimand. So the former submariner took the safest route.
"It's been an adventurous experience, Sir."
"Good or bad?" pushed the General.
"It's been an adventurous experience," repeated Commander Turner.
"Hmm, well, don't let him rattle you Commander, he's got a fire in his belly."
"I'll try not to let it get out of control Sir,"
The General gave him a puzzled look.
"You do that."
Day Six…
"Sturgis!"
"Mac? Where are you?" He cupped his hand so he could hear her distant voice better.
"Still aboard the Peleieu," Sturgis heard a sigh in her voice. She quickly switched topics. "How is it going with Lieutenant Vukovic?"
"Don't ask."
"That bad?" she inquired.
"He's driving me nuts. How do you deal with him?"
"Use a firm hand," said Mac echoing Harm's advice given to him about Mac a few years ago.
"This is your revenge for me calling you priggish, isn't it?"
"I have to go Sturgis,"
"When are you coming back?" his tone sounded more pleading than he wished.
He was sure he heard laughter in her voice. "I can't say Sturgis, look, I really have to go. Bye."
Mac? Give me some advice here, Mac? Mac?" the static hissed in his ear, followed by the unfriendly click of the connection being cut.
He sat back in his chair and thought about what Mac had said.
'Use a firm hand.'
At that moment Greg Vukovic sailed past his office.
"Lieutenant," he called out, "may I see you in here for a moment?"
Greg stopped in mid-stride turned, and entered the Commander's office.
"Close the hatch behind you, Lieutenant." Greg nodded and closed the door. Then he braced for the expected rebuke.
Sturgis noted his stance and the barely concealed expression on his face. "You don't like me very much do you Lieutenant?"
"Permission to speak freely Sir?"
"Granted."
Greg was blunt. "No Sir, I don't."
"How would you describe me?"
Greg didn't waste any time. "The term 'martinet' comes to mind, Sir."
Now Sturgis knew how Mac felt when he had called her priggish. 'Okay, let's try a different tack' he said to himself. "Lieutenant, do you have any idea why I'm so hard on you?"
"Because you don't remember how it was when you were young, Sir?" It was a shot fired right across the bow.
Rather than giving in to the baiting, Sturgis smiled. "Actually Lieutenant, I do remember only too well, but *I* grew out of your bad habits before I left the academy."
If this was supposed to humble the Lieutenant, it didn't work. "That's too bad, Sir."
"No Lieutenant, it was very fortunate; you see insubordination and sexual harassment are a *bad* combination, Mister – they can *end* your career."
"You should listen to him, Lieutenant."
Both Sturgis and Greg turned to see General Cresswell standing against the doorframe in profile. They both stood at attention.
"General!"
"Sir!"
Gordon Cresswell turned toward the young brash Lieutenant. "Lieutenant, I understand you're young and I know you're a good lawyer or at least your case history says so – you should listen to the Commander, he is giving you some very good advice."
Greg wasn't sure what the General meant, but the fact he had chosen this moment to appear couldn't be good.
"You were picked to come to JAG Corps Headquarters because of your abilities. Lack of respect for senior officers or continued harassment of female staff could lead to charges, demotion in rank, and transfer to a less exciting JAG Corps post." The Major General's voice turned into a growl. "Are we *clear*, Lieutenant?"
Gregory Vukovic knew that this wasn't just an idle threat. "Crystal Sir!"
Gordon Cresswell let a faint smile cross his lips. "Carry on Commander, sorry for the interruption."
"Yes Sir." He looked over at the younger officer. "What did you do, Lieutenant?"
Greg smiled sheepishly. "Um, that might have to do with the General's daughter flirting with me,"
"The General's daughter? Are you insane?" Then the Bubblehead had a horrible thought. "Wait a minute, that wouldn't be the other way around, would it?"
Sturgis saw the closest thing to embarrassment on the Lieutenant's face for the first time. "It might be Sir."
"Lieutenant I strongly suggest you take a vow of celibacy for the remainder of your time here at JAG Headquarters or at least until your libido calms down."
"Yes Sir."
"And Lieutenant, for the record, we all had our youthful indiscretions – but that was in the past. Do you *read* me?"
"Aye, aye Sir. Loud and clear."
"Dismissed."
1321 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Day Eight…
Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie walked into the Bullpen. It was good to be on dry land again. That squall had made that amphibious assault ship rock so badly she was only too happy to get off it. She greeted Jennifer and then made her way toward Commander Turner's office. As she did, she spotted him and Lieutenant Vukovic deep in conversation.
"Sturgis, Lieutenant."
Greg turned and acknowledged the return of his supervisor. "Colonel, welcome back, Ma'am."
'Ma'am?' thought Mac as she struggled for the proper response. In all her time with the Lieutenant, Ma'am was one of those rare words of his and also the tone of respect was unusual.
"Thank you…Lieutenant," she smiled cautiously and then looked over at Sturgis.
Greg looked back at the Commander. "I'm sure you and Colonel need to talk, Sir, Ma'am; please excuse me."
Mac watched dumbfounded as Gregory Vukovic left the two of them and headed down the hall to his office. Mac turned to the Bubblehead. "Not bad, Sturgis, not bad, what did you do, brainwash him?"
Coates walked up and handed Sturgis a note. "Sir, your witness is waiting in the conference room."
Sturgis turned to the Petty Officer. "I'll be right there Coates,"
Greg Vukovic stopped before opening his door. "Commander, if you like, I can talk to witness so that will give you more time to talk with the Colonel."
"Thank you Lieutenant,"
"You're welcome Sir. Excuse me, Colonel." Greg made his way to the conference room and let himself in.
Mac leaned toward Sturgis, "Do you really think that's such a good idea?"
"He can handle it Mac. Come on, let's go talk."
Mac threw him a suspicious look. "Okay Sturgis, where is Lieutenant Vukovic? What did you do with him?"
"I'm not sure I know what you mean Colonel," said Sturgis Turner coyly, "you just saw him."
"No I didn't; that *was* a doppelganger."
"No Mac," he chuckled, "that *was* him."
She gave him an incredulous look.
"I did what you said. I used a firm hand,"
"Oh."
"And the General's help,"
"I see…."
"What about his courtroom tactics?"
"Well, he's not firing off HK's in the courtroom, if that's what you mean. Commander Roberts is helping him with his tactics."
Mac was amazed. "Sturgis Turner, you *are* a miracle worker."
"Don't say that too loud Mac, my dad will try to recruit me as a chaplain."
Mac just laughed and shook her head.
-FINI