Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Also, the hymn 'You Are Mine' belongs to David Haas.
A/N: inspiration can hit you anywhere at any time. I was in Church listening to 'You Are Mine' when this story hit me.
It's a Wonderful Life
"Wake up Mommy" I hear as I flutter my eyes open and see our little 2-1/2 year old snuggler, Alex, hugging me.
"Yeah wake up Mommy" Freddie says in a little boy voice. As I look up I see he is holding a tray with my breakfast on it. I smile and sit up while Alex slides off me to my side.
"We made you bacon Mommy!"
"Now how did you know I wanted bacon for breakfast?" I say with a smirk and a twinkle in my eyes.
"Because we know it's your favorite and Daddy says you're going to need it today." He says innocently.
"Thank you very much. You are the best boys a girl could ever hope to have. Now why don't you go in and watch a cartoon while I finish this and talk to Daddy for a little bit? Thank you Sweetie."
"And thank you too Lover." I teasingly say, which always makes him blush. Good to know I still have that effect on him after these past six and a half years.
"You are most certainly welcome muh lady." He states, as he bows down to kiss me. "Now you really do need to be getting ready. Your plane leaves in just over two hours; we will have just enough time to get you the airport, but you need to hurry. I have packed you a survival carry-on bag that should last you for both the one hour flight to San Francisco and the hour flight back, but since this is you I'm talking to, I put in enough to get you to New York and back."
As I am getting ready, I can hear him and Alex buzzing about cleaning up a bit and making sure everything is ready. I am also thinking about how special my life has become simply due to a chance kiss at the high school lock in; now several years ago and the boy I kissed becoming the knight in shining armor I thought was out of my reach. Had it not been for his help, I likely would not have finished high school, let alone become a successful graphic artist, who by the way is working for a respectable advertising agency. It is this job that has me heading for San Fran today to address a Graphics Arts class at the Academy of Art College. And little Alex; such a wonderful boy, who I'm sure will be a heartthrob with his blond hair and chocolate brown eyes. Who would have thought me as being a mother who cares so deeply for this special little guy given my own past childhood?
I know I don't tell him anywhere near often enough just how much I do love him and how much having him in my life means. He truly is the most generous, caring and loving husband and father any woman could dream of being married to.
The ride to the airport is uneventful and we get there with plenty of time to spare. Freddie was able to arrange it so they could come through security to see me off. I hugged both of them and gave them each a kiss and before I knew it, my plane was leaving.
Barring any issues at either the airport or with the taxi cabs in San Fran, I would be back in Seattle by 8:00 tonight. Marissa would be taking care of Alex and Freddie would be there to pick me up and we would have a wonderful "date" at Salty's and night alone without little Alex. It is funny to think that I would ever leave my son with Marissa after how she raised poor Freddie, but she must have only reserved that over protective mother bear persona for Freddie. She acts like a normal Grandma and in fact, her apartment has no more of that goofy health food she forced on Freddie. She also has been very good to me, which is very comforting considering our rocky start. I have also grown to enjoy our conversations and we get along very well; in fact, I have become to regard her as the mother I really never had.
Life is Crashing Down Around Me
The presentation goes off without a hitch and I am in the taxi on my way to the airport when my phone rings. Instead of seeing Freddie's name, it is Marissa's. Now that is a bit odd, but since we do speak quite often, I didn't think much of it.
"Hi Marissa" I say without a questioning tone.
At first, there is no reply and then I hear a shaky, croaky voice say a single word "Sam" and I knew right then something terrible has happened.
And just like that, a single raspy word has crashed my world around me and all happy thoughts and memories have vanished to be replaced with fear and anxiety as my imagination begins to fill me with instant panic.
What is it Marissa?" I stammer. "Did something happen to Alex?" I question as my eyes begin to tear up, but I should have known better. Had something happened to Alex, Freddie would have been the one to call. "What happened?"
"Sam Honey, Freddie has had a seizure and took a very bad fall." She gets out through her obvious tears.
"What? Seizure? Fall? How is he?" I am now crying.
"Sam, Freddie has been taken to Northwest Hospital and is intensive care right now. I have Spencer going to the airport to pick you up and he will bring you right over here as soon as you are back in Seattle. Don't worry about Alexander either. Spencer was able to reach Carly and she is watching him here. Sam? Sam? Are you there?"
I was, for once in my life, speechless. What was I supposed to say? My husband, her son, is lying in a hospital bed.
"Is he going to be all right? How bad is it?" I can hardly stand this, now my worries and fears are getting the best, or more accurately, the worst of me.
"He has been unconscious since the fall and is bleeding internally. Right now he is stable," she states rather blandly leading me to believe it is much worse than she is letting on. "Just do not get overly worked up; and call me just before you get on the plane; I will give you any update on his condition then. Bye sweet heart" and with that she hung up.
My head is absolutely numb. What type of seizure I am thinking; he has never had any others and no indication of anything of that sort of malady. Where did he fall and how could falling have injured him so badly that he has internal bleeding and why would he be unconscious? OH NO he is bleeding on his brain! With that realization, I have once again begun to weep and cry out loud.
The taxi driver notices this and tries to provide comfort but I just snap at him "get me to the airport ASAP!"
Once there and through security, I called Marissa for an update, as well as, to question her about my hypothesis regarding the internal brain injury. She confirms my theory and breaks down on the phone and we both sit there crying. I finally manage to say I have to get on the plane and we hang up.
The plane ride was obviously worse than any other I have ever been on. Not only is it a full flight, but it seemed to go on forever and in my state, I was obnoxious to everyone around me. Even to those only trying to comfort me like the cab driver. I just wasn't in any sort of state to listen to anyone.
As soon as we are allowed to get off, I run with all I have to get to the passenger pick up area. Spencer is there waiting.
Opening his arms, he hugs me and he says "Sam I am so sorry; he'll be all right. You are here now."
"Thank you Spencer, I hope you're right. Let's get going; I have no luggage to pick up."
There is no talking as we drive the thirty-five minutes to the hospital. I am still lost in thought. How is this going to be all right? Optimism is not my strong suit and I once again spiral into a weeping frenzy. Thankfully, Spencer knew enough to let me be alone for the time being with my misery.
Surgery and Hope
As we pull up to the hospital I jump out before the car comes to a stop and once again I am running. I find the information desk and inquire where I can find Freddie. I was informed that he is intensive care and the rest of the family is in the waiting room on the third floor.
As I find the waiting room I see Marissa, Carly with Alex, and Melanie is there as well. No Pam Puckett though, but then why would there be; she has not acknowledged us as a family in more than five years. She didn't even come to the wedding and has never even seen Alex. I shake my head as I cannot waste my thoughts on her.
Marissa runs up to me and hugs me tightly. I have no time to wait and I ask "Where is he? I need to see him now!"
"Sam, they have taken Freddie into surgery in an effort to relieve the pressure and to see if they can stop the bleeding. The surgeon told us he would be in there for at least five hours. Please sit down with us. Alexander needs his mother right now." She tells me and I figure it out that I have to take my mind off all this tragedy and be strong for our little boy.
I pick up Alex and as I pace around I softly sing to him and eventually we take a seat. Finally I am able to talk to the others and we express our cares and concerns to one another and I thank them all for being here for us. I really am glad to have them all here and they seem to know what I need, whether it is consoling or just quiet time. Eventually Alex falls asleep and I sit there staring blankly waiting for news from the surgeon.
Time is dragging on; it seems almost to be at a stand still. As I am deep in my thoughts I notice a man in blue scrubs coming up to us in the waiting area. I immediately get up and hand Alex off to Melanie and rush over to the man knowing he is the surgeon.
"How is he?" I question pleading for the answer I want to hear.
"Are you Samantha? I did not get a chance to discuss the situation with you before hand..."
"Yes, I'm his wife, but I need to know what his condition is! Were you able to stop the bleeding? Is he going to be okay?" I am now weeping again and I feel a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Sam let the doctor continue" Marissa calmly states and I turn into her and hug her waiting for the surgeon to fill us in.
"At present he is again stable, and we have placed a small drain tube in his skull to relieve any pressure that may build up. We believe we have been successful in stopping the bleeding, but he is still in serious condition. He has suffered a major blow to his head and we will not be able to tell the complete extent of the injuries until he has had more time." He says in his practiced manner.
"When can I see him?" I ask hoping I can go in right away.
"He is sedated and we expect him to be out for several hours yet, but you may go in and sit with him however; only one at a time for now."
As I enter the room the first thing I notice is the bandage wrapped around his head and then the blinking heart monitor. He looks so pale and weak, but under the sedation he is totally at rest. I pull a chair up beside the bed and take his hand as I start crying once again. I thought all my tears would have been cried out, but they just keep coming.
At first all I can say is "Freddie, please come back. We love you. We need you." Fatigue has finally overcome me and I lean forward laying my head on the bed and manage to fall asleep.
A Little Boy's Request
When I come to, I note that nothing in the room, including Freddie has changed however; the sun is shining through the window, which gives me some comfort and a bit of hope. I leave the room for a while as Marissa comes in and I go out to be with my Alex. He is awake and Spencer, Carly, and Melanie are helping to keep him occupied however; it is mostly Spencer as he is still a kid at heart and knows how to play like a little boy.
After a bit of food and something to drink, I take Alex and relieve Marissa at Freddie's bedside. Alex needed to see his Daddy and the nurses did not protest when I brought him in.
As we walked in the room Alex asked "Mommy, why does Daddy have a big owee on his head? Is he going to sleep forever? He has been sleeping since yesterday."
I wanted to cry again and did tear up a bit at those words, but then he said something that helped to comfort me. "Mommy, sing Daddy a song. You sing to me when I have owees and I always feel better."
What a thoughtful little boy I think and as I sit down in the chair and take Freddie's hand in mine. The only song that comes to mind is a hymn that was played at Dad's funeral. It is really the only thing I can remember from that day and although it is usually only played at funerals, the words are comforting.
Softly I sing.
'I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear My voice
I claim you as My choice
Be still, and know I am near
I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in Me
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine
I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free
And all will know My name
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine
I am the Word that leads all to freedom
I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain
Stand up, now, walk, and live
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine'
"I love you Freddie and you are mine" I say with fresh tears in my eyes.
As I finish this I feel Alex place his hands on Freddie's and mine and he says so innocently "Wake up Daddy."
As I sit there staring at our hands I feel movement and then I hear a groan. My eyes fly open and I look up to see Freddie stirring, his face is grimaced in obvious pain. His eyes did not open, but he was moving, the first movement in a whole day.
I squeeze his hand and softly say "Freddie?" in a trembling voice. At this I see the grimace leave his face and he looks peaceful.
"See Mommy, singing did make Daddy feel better" Alex says and I take him up and hug him.
"Thank you Sweetie, you knew just what was needed. You are very thoughtful, just like Daddy. Now we have to go tell the nurses that Daddy may be ready to wake up. You can stay with Spencer, Carly and Melanie for a little bit while Grandma and I talk with the nurses. Okay? That's my big boy."
Marissa and I made our way to the nurse's station and I informed them of Freddie's reaction just a bit ago. We were very hopeful when they told us that it is a very good sign to go along with no noticeable drainage any longer coming out of the drainage tube, meaning the bleeding is likely stopped and any swelling is abating.
As we enter the room, we instantly see Freddie's eyes are open but are glossy and appear to be staring at nothing. The nurses quickly check all the monitors and his drainage tube and attempt to ask him some questions however; he is unable to speak in response.
This was disconcerting, but Marissa and the nurses assured me that this is normal and he just needed more time to get all his faculties back. After the nurses left, Freddie again was sleeping.
We left the room with hope and went back to talk with the others who were all glad to hear Freddie has made improvement.
Melanie agreed to take Alex back to our apartment and to stay as long as necessary. She, or should I say I, really did become a good sister and we get along very well now that I am no longer jealous of her.
I gave Alex a big hug and kiss and said "Now you be a good boy for Aunt Melanie. Listen and do what she asks. I will be home tomorrow some time to check on you. Okay? I love you."
"Okay Mommy I love you too" and with that they all headed out and Marissa and I went back to Freddie's room.
After she left with Alex, Spencer and Carly also left as they both had to get back to work, well Carly had to get back to work. They both agreed to stop by often and would also check up on Melanie and Alex.
I Was Sent Home
For another day and a half Freddie would drift in an out, he would be awake for longer and longer periods and during those periods he was able to focus and respond with short answers. Finally, with him now out of intensive care, when I came in to the room on the fourth day after being admitted, he was sitting up and was actually eating.
When he saw me enter and saw the tears welling up he calmly stated "It's all right Darling, I am feeling much much better. I hope you and Alex and all the others did not spend a bunch of time crying over me. Now come here and kiss me."
As I stepped up to the bed and bent down, he was able to reach up to my face and wipe my tears away. "Freddie, I thought…"
"Stop, Sam. I am going to be just fine. The doctor told me that the MRI's have shown that I did not have any swelling of the brain as originally suspected. The pressure was due to fluid build and that has dissipated and that the drainage tube can come out today or tomorrow and that I should be able to check out and come home in another day or two."
"Do they know what caused the seizure?"
"They tell me it is epilepsy. Don't get excited, it can be treated with medication and I can carry on a normal life." He says as I look into his eyes and see a glimmer of what was there that morning before all this took place.
"Sam is Mom here today? I need to talk to the both of you about something"
"Yes she is in the waiting room; let me go get her." I state and as I am about to walk out the door, I turn and see a look of deep thought on his face.
As Marissa and I enter the room, Freddie asks us to pull up a chair and sit.
"What I have to say may sound crazy, and you may think that it was from the head injury or a dream, but it was all too real and I need to share this with you." After a short pause he relays his story. "An angel sent me back here. Stop, let me explain. I was standing at a precipice, or more like on the edge of a knife where a faltering step one way or the other would determine which way I would go. While standing there I began to hear a song, soft and gentle, in which the words 'you are mine' kept repeating. As I tried to concentrate on the words, I saw before me an angel and the angel blew onto me and my eyes were opened further and I saw two men there, one I recognized immediately. It was Dad and, Mom, he told me to tell you not to worry any more, and that you did an excellent job raising me without him."
Marissa began to weep and tears streamed down her face as Freddie continued. "As I kept hearing the song, I concentrated on the other man. Something about him was very familiar and then he said to me 'my Sammie needs you back can't you hear her calling?' and I knew then it was your dad Samantha."
Now I too am crying, but Freddie goes on. "The angel blew onto me again and I hear a voice clear as day say 'Wake up Daddy' and as I realized the voice was little Alex both our dad's say together 'you are needed elsewhere' and the precipice I was standing on was gone and I found myself back in this world and heard you, Sam, and Alex talking. I wanted so badly to grab the two of you and hold you, but I could not get my arms, eyes or mouth to work."
We all sat there for a moment, Marissa and I shocked by this revelation. Marissa, still crying leans over Freddie and says "Son, I believe it was an angel that sent you back. We have all been praying for you to come back to us and believe we have been answered." And I nodded in agreement.
Just after that moment, the doctor entered to do a check up and indicated that the tube could come out today, but they would keep Freddie in for another night for observation. I was disappointed, but thought it better to have one more night with nurse's observation, just to be on the safe side. Plus that will give me a chance to get some welcome home Daddy items all set up as well as time to get our closest friends over to help celebrate his home coming.
That next afternoon Alex and I went to pick up Freddie to bring him home, while Carly and Melanie put the finishing touches to the big welcome home in our apartment. When we got there, Freddie was already sitting in the lobby in a wheel chair, which he will be using for a few more days until he gets all his strength back. Alex sees him and runs up and crawls in his daddy's lap for a ride to the car.
The party ended quickly as everyone knew that Freddie was still weak and needed rest and after everyone had gone we finally settled down just the three of us on the couch.
Freddie looked at Alex and said "Son I am really proud of you and how you helped out Mommy and Melanie these last few days. I think you deserve something really special, what would you like?"
Alex thought about it for a little while and looked up at us and said "I want a sister or brother."
All is Good Again
"Wake up Daddy" Alex says as Freddie opens his eyes to see a little boy with a big grin on his face and also sees me standing there with a tray holding his breakfast. "We made you waffles with strawberries."
"Now how did you know I wanted waffles with strawberries" Freddie says with a grin.
"Because they're your favorite and Mommy says you need them today. Now I gotta go get ready to go to Grandma's. I hope you like your waffles."
"Thank you Alex, and I will love the waffles" Now he looks up to me and asks "Now just why do I need waffles and why is Alex going to Grandma's?"
I lean down and kiss him and say "Well lover" he blushes at this; some things I hope will never change. "It has been two months now and we never did get our date after I got back from San Francisco, so I have put us up at Grand Hyatt for a couple of nights. Besides we need to start working on the present we promised Alex."
(Author's end note) I hope you all enjoy this.