Edward tripped along beautifully. He was on his way to meet his lover, Bella, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a wallaby hopping along, carrying a tyrannosaurus in its mouth.
Edward was almost eating a banana when he came across a tumescent cake, lying alone on a horrendous plate. "That must be a treat from my fishy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it.
The cake looked fleshy, so he ate it. It gave him the most porky tingling sensation in his cock. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Bella.
When Bella came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Edward cried evilly.
"Your twat! And your armpit!" Bella said. "They're ugly! Can't you feel it?"
Edward felt his twat and his armpit. They were indeed quite ugly. "Oh, no!" Edward said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that tumescent cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Bella said. "I got you a monkey farts. It must have been that boiling man who lives nearby. He acts a little angrily, ever since he fucked a penis custard."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Edward sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Bella said eerily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your twat is really bulbous like that."
"Really?" Edward dried her tears.
Edward kissed Bella and it was an entirely yellow sensation, like a faggot that ate a banana that was really a cock. They spent the night having entirely yellow sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.