A second season: Part 7: Starting Over
By Splash
This is continued from Part 5+6
Disclaimer and Series intro can be found in Episodes 0 and 1… Standard legalese applies…
Any comments or suggestions would be welcomed... There is more to come just have to find the time... I have stuck with the prose after re-reading some of my earlier FF's and reader comments. I also like it better.
"And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and to know the place for the first time" – T.S. Elliott
Next morning Peter is whistling in his office not able to concentrate on a thing after last night. Wonder why!?! (If you don't know, you didn't read the last part!) When Graham knocks, "Curtis said you wanted to see me?"
Peter smiled, it was only 7:30 am, Graham must of bumped into Curtis either really early this morning or late last night. He was wondering what happened after he left Rusty's – pretty sure though that it involved Annie giving Curtis a hard time about Graham and his sister, but wondering whether Curtis went by to see Graham or what… So he continued, "Yup, Still want a job?" Peter motioned for Graham to sit.
"Totally. So you worked out the finances?" Graham asked as he settled into the chair in front of Peter's desk. His 6'5" well-built frame was a bit too large for the small, wooden chair and took a moment to get comfortable.
Peter chuckling, "Well we're not in any danger of closing, but things are pretty tight for a while. I can't offer you full pay rate, but we'll do what we can and meals are included, although some would say that's not a selling point around here." Peter laughed to himself – the meatloaf and eggplant dishes were getting a bit too frequent – note to self, talk to cook about adding variety to the menu – note again, be gentle, cook is pretty testy about her cooking…
"I'm sure the food is better than anything I can cook, since I don't cook much that is not freeze dried or frozen!" Graham was just psyched to have the job, "Anyway I said before it's not about the money. Oh, so Curtis also said he mentioned that I was gay… This isn't a problem then?"
"Not so long as it doesn't interfere with your work in a negative way – same as any other counselor and their personal lives," cautioned Peter.
"No problem there – taking a relationship hiatus for a while," it was almost as if Graham was remembering something from his past and it saddened him for a brief moment before he snapped back to the present, "So when do I start?"
"I've talked to Sarah, you'll be working with her and the Rangers – that's the name of her group," Peter explained picking up a pile of folders and opening the one on the top, "We can go over the student files this afternoon – if you can start today?"
"Sure, I can start now if you want."
"Well, I'd like to wait for Sarah, she's busy right now, but there is one file that I'll show you," Peter rifled through the pile of folders and pulled out a pretty thick one from the middle. He laid it on the table in front of him and opened it. "His name is Daniel Marks." Peter turned the folder and slid it in front of where Graham was sitting. Graham picked up the folder and began reading.
The first page gave the basics – name, birth date, family background – nothing out of the ordinary. Graham turned the page – his academic transcript – must not have been the grades – they were average, but not bad enough to worry about. As he continued to leaf through the rest of the pages, Peter began to speak.
"Daniel was a seemingly normal 15 year old kid who got average grades, liked music and art and hoped to go to an art college someday. Family is supposedly close knit; mom and dad are college professors. Mom teaches biology and Dad is an ordained minister teaching religion." Peter paused as Graham had stopped listening for a moment to focus on what was written on page five or six of the file. After a moment Peter picked up again, "Anyway one afternoon after school Daniel was arrested for beating up another classmate, who was gay." At this Graham looked up.
"Daniel beat the boy up because he was gay or for another reason?" Graham asked hoping it was the later.
"Because the boy was gay," Peter stated frankly, searching for a reaction from Graham – curious how he would handle this.
That is what Graham had just read in the file – he didn't want to believe it but Peter's words... It took him a while to digest the words – hate crimes and bigotry were inexcusable in Graham's mind. His blood began to boil at the thought – what makes people so stupid, so narrow-minded? And Daniel, he was just a child – already jaded. He tried to calm down hoping not to show Peter his irritation.
"So you're telling me this now to warn me?" Graham wondered, "Do you think he's likely to act out like this again? Towards me?"
After hesitation Peter responded, "It's possible but I doubt he'd try anything here – besides he's a good six inches shorter and about 100 lbs. lighter than you," Graham smiled at this – his size had saved him from similar situations in the past.
"He hasn't really opened up to the group or staff in the last six weeks that he's been here," Peter continued, "he has worked on managing his anger but still there is definitely some inner turmoil."
Graham wondered if maybe Daniel might be gay himself – when he was struggling with his own sexuality, Graham had taken to making crude jokes about homosexuals and teasing other boys who were smaller and less macho. He had the advantage of his size as he had filled out at a young age. He'd never met the kid – he had no way of knowing, so he took the plunge and asked, "You think he might be gay?"
"Honestly? I don't know – there's rumor that he likes one of the girls in the group."
"Could be an act," Graham added.
"Could be… Could also be that he's not sure," Peter suggested. Graham nodded – Peter's pretty insightful, I'm impressed…
"So you said his parents were teachers – dad taught religion – was the family very religious? Did he have siblings?" Graham was definitely curious now.
"Parents were pretty shocked at his behavior – they kept saying that they raised him to be decent – they wanted him to learn to control his anger and learn to be more accepting of others. As for siblings, he has two older brothers – one plays freshman football in college and the other is a tri-varsity, honor role Senior in high school and a younger brother in seventh grade – I don't have much on him," Peter paused to think of anything else that might be pertinent.
"I ask about the religion because some people feel that being gay is also like going against God's wishes," Graham started, "Others are just plain ignorant and close-minded. It's like we threaten their manhood or something stupid like that."
"Didn't seem that the father pushed religion overtly, but there's a lot about the kid's home lives that's a mystery to us here," Peter lamented.
"Still, It would be tough growing up with two brothers who were great athletes, when he was really interested in art and music, if he was expected to be like the others," Graham suggested. He was just hypothesizing here but it seemed reasonable, "If he was struggling with his sexuality, even a little, I could see where he might feel like he was the one who was messed up and want to lash out at something or someone."
"You sound like you might have some personal experience in that department," Peter probed lightly, not wanting to over-step his bounds with the new counselor.
"Yes, I did struggle with my sexual identity and was angry for a long time. I tried to convince myself I liked girls – dated Curtis' sister, but you know that…" He paused and took a deep breath – he had almost forgotten how rotten he'd been to everyone, especially her, when he left without saying goodbye.
"Well maybe you have a good idea how to approach this?" Peter asked.
"I definitely think we should be cautious. Accusing him might act to shut him down completely. Also I'm not sure I should be announcing that I'm gay right off the bat – not to hide it, but more that it's really no one else's business, on some levels, except my own. I'd prefer to get to know them a bit before sharing this part of me. Its not a topic I want aired in group particularly."
"That's kind of the purpose of group, you know… The kids all have their own secrets that they will at any moment either share or conceal. It's hard for them to open to us if we can't be open with them…"
"I realize that but I don't want to be seen as a threat especially not to Daniel. It's one thing, these kids sharing what they've done, or has been done to them, but another a secret about who they are. I know you talk about accepting everyone as they come – scars and all – but kids can be rough on each other and even rougher when one kid is really different."
"We can handle the other kids," Peter stated with confidence.
"All the time?" Graham doubted Peter on this one, "Even in the dorms at night? You can't be there every second. My gut says take it slow."
"I'll trust your judgement on this one, but I'd appreciate you keeping me informed on how things are going?" Peter requested.
"I'm not saying I can solve this kid's problem or even get him to open up just because I've been there, but I do understand what he's going though if he is struggling with being gay," Graham conceded.
With that there was a knock at the door. Peter called for the person to come in and the door opened. Sarah poked her head in and smiled.
"Hi, Sarah. Come in," Peter welcomed, "Meet Graham."
"Nice to meet you Sarah. Looks like Peter's assigned me to your group," Graham blurted out, extending his hand deliberately at the end of his long tentacle-like arm to shake her hand. She was struck by his size, so tall and well built, and feared the handshake would be over bearing, so she hesitated before returning this gesture. Finally they shook hands – he wasn't rough – just the perfect balance of firm and gentle. She noticed his dark green eyes focused intently on her, she felt as if he saw right through her. It was slightly disconcerting, but warm all the same. To hide her unease, Sarah joked, "A little old to be a student aren't we?"
Peter sensed her confusion, since he hadn't gotten a chance to tell her yet that he had indeed hired a new counselor, he decided there was no time like the present, "Nope, he's the new Horizon counselor. I figured since your group was gaining another three students that you could use some reinforcements."
Sarah was trying not to take this as a criticism, but was a bit surprised. Making light of it all, "Sure, I could use a male influence with all the guys in the group. The razz me endlessly about my mountaineering skills – you any good at camping, by the way?"
"Grew up in these woods, know the river well and can make a feast out of anything canned or dried – just don't ask me to cook from scratch!"
They all laughed. This is going to be ok. Graham and Sarah smiled softly at each other. Sarah admitting that she really did need some help, she was getting exhausted some days just trying to keep everything in order. And Graham trying to read Sarah, what will she think when I tell her about my being gay, is she the kind of woman who has trouble letting go of her control her power? Peter just hoped that it would all go smoothly – he couldn't think otherwise, he just had too much else on his mind.
"OK, So Peter… Graham…" Sarah started, "School starts next week and I still want to take the kids on one more quest before then. I think Grace has settled in pretty well and the rest are adjusting to each other, but this would help them gel as a team before classes enter into the mix."
Peter had forgotten that she wanted to take them on quest before school started and turned to Graham, "You mind spending your first days with the group in the woods?"
"As good a place as any – fewer distractions. It will be great to be a part of their first group quest. Give me a chance to get to know them all better. So when to we leave?" Graham asked with enthusiasm.
"I was hoping to head out at first light – does this give you enough time to get settled?" Sarah replied.
"No problem – my gear's always ready and Peter and I were planning on going over the student files this afternoon. Can you be there too? I'd like your take on the students since you've been with them everyday for the last few weeks."
"Oh, we have group this afternoon and I think it would be best to warm them to the idea of a new counselor, and a quest, slowly. I could introduce you to them at group then we could go over the files later? Maybe tonight after dinner, I have to pack but should be done about 8ish," Sarah suggested.
"No need to spring me on them this afternoon. You can tell them I'll be joining them on the quest first thing in the morning. There's no better time to gain insight on a person than in the wee hours of the morning before their defenses have fully awoken! So Peter and I'll still go over the files this afternoon and then we can discuss them tonight – say at Rusty's?"
Sarah nodded in agreement, "Sounds great, I can go home and pack and not have to leave the house again! (to Graham) See you at eight, (to Peter) and you later," and she bounced out of the room. Her comment drew a puzzled look from Graham.
"Uh, She rents a room from Annie" Peter explained.
"Oh makes sense now…" Graham said just shaking his head, content that this was the right decision – moving back to Agnes after all this time.
Several hours later, the Rangers are in their group circle discussing their hopes and fears about the upcoming school year. They're all a bit bummed that the summer is over, but most are looking forward to their return to the school year schedule – less surprise quests and less group, but the trade off is the homework. Life's not always perfect, a lesson that they have all learned the hard way.
Sarah senses their growing restlessness and acts to conclude the group session before they loose focus completely, "OK, That was a great session! There's one more thing I want to say before we all clear out. Tomorrow we're going on our first quest as a team." This provoked an equal number groans and smiles from the students. "And," she continued, "we will have a new counselor joining us."
"Just for the quest?" Sam asked.
"Nope, for good," Sarah replied matter-of-factly.
Not surprisingly Steve piped up sarcastically, "So, What's her name?"
"HIS name is Graham Johnson and he grew up in Agnes, but he's been living in Seattle for the past few years," Sarah explained, "You all can meet him first thing before we leave tomorrow. He's excited for the quest, especially since he really likes the mountains."
"They're a good thing to like around here. Hope he knows how to navigate – rumor has you managed to get your group got lost a few times this summer," Steve continued.
"No she didn't," Lindsay said defensively, "She was just testing us." Sarah smiles at this – if only she had been testing them…
"Thanks, Lindsay. I will admit that I am learning more everyday about navigating these mountains, and it will be great to have someone who really knows the area well and can truly test you all," admitted Sarah honestly. "So… Why don't we all go get organized for tomorrow and make sure to eat a good dinner tonight before hitting the sack early, OK? (she looked around at all the faces in the circle) I've swapped our Kitchens with the Cliffhangers; they'll take tonight… (Premature cheers and smiles erupt all around) …BUT we end up with Monday and Tuesday." This makes everyone groan. Kitchen will always suck to the students; Cook manages to dirty every pot in the place it seems. They all slink off slowly – still bummed about double kitchens, but also nervous about the days to come.
***Next morning***
Dawn crept up over the mountains threatening the peaceful mist that had descended over the school during the night. Graham was already on the school grounds before the first light had filtered through the trees. He had his orange juice on the picnic table and was fiddling with the straps on his pack when Sarah rode up on her bicycle.
"Morning," she said breathless from the long climb up the school road.
"And a beautiful one it is!" Graham's love affair with sunrise bothered most people. They didn't understand how he could go to sleep whenever, no matter how late, and still awake before the sun happy and energetic. He had missed the sunrises so often in Seattle due to rain, but now he was home – it was everything he remembered from his childhood. How the sun gently warmed the mountain, how the birds and animals start to stir before the sun even rises, and the smell – the fresh, clean smell of the morning air. He was glad to be back.
"So you ready?" Sarah had tucked her bike behind the woodshed as usual and retrieved her pack from the lodge along with a cup of herbal tea.
"All set for the hike – now just have to get through meeting the kids," Graham half-joked.
"It'll be fine – they're psyched that they don't have to worry about my getting them lost," Sarah amused, receiving a sideways glance and a raised eyebrow from Graham. "Well I kind of made a few wrong turns during the summer session. Nothing major or dangerous, but the kids figured out that we were heading North instead of South. Guess that's what we get for teaching them so much!" She finished smiling.
"Yeah, durn kids – lurnin' to sur-vive on their owne – whut evur wure they thinkin'!" Graham mimicked in his best hillbilly accent, which left the two of them in stitches. They knew at that moment that whatever the challenge, they would make a good team.
With the remaining tension between the counselors, vanished the morning mist and the peace – the students were awake and moving about. Twenty minutes later the Rangers were all assembled in the yard, well nourished, ready to go, and in the process of introducing themselves to Graham. Sarah announces that Graham is leading the way this morning – which causes an eruption of yeas from the group. The two of them had decided on the route and plan together last night at Rusty's.
**Flashback to the night before at Rusty's: Sarah's recollection**
Sarah and Graham are sitting in an empty Rusty's after closing. Sarah had been delayed getting home and it was about 10 p.m. There were two beers on the table and a quiet country melody in the background. The two had discussed most of the students, leaving only Daniel Marks.
"Peter said you could probably be a big help with Daniel?" Sarah asked curious what Peter had meant.
"I guess – It'll either be good or ugly," Graham predicted.
"Why do you say that?" Sarah asked still bewildered.
"Well, if he's truly homophobic then it could be ugly, but if he's just confused and frustrated about his sexuality then I'll be able to help," Graham spelled out before noticing her total confusion. "Oh… Peter didn't tell you that I was gay, did he?"
"Huh? No he didn't…" she hesitated and then fell silent.
"Does that bother you?"
"Oh, No. Just that you seem so…" searching for the word.
"Normal?" Graham finished. After all, he had heard this before.
"That really sounded stupid, huh?" Sarah asked embarrassed.
"People expect all gays to be flaming or effeminate, but news flash, we're not!" Graham chuckled giving Sarah the benefit of the doubt on this one, "Heck even I have trouble telling most of the time."
"Sorry if I offended you…" Sarah said with genuine atonement.
"No worries. Sorry I didn't tell you straight up. Figured Peter had," on some level he was impressed that Peter hadn't but was still sorry he hadn't said anything sooner.
**Back to present**
Sarah's thoughts wander through the rest of previous night's conversation time and again. She can't imagine how hard it must have been growing up in such a small town struggling with whether or not you are gay – she's impressed he had the guts to come back and face everyone again eight years later. Sarah surveys the line of students traipsing down the path and smiles. Alexis is talking to Graham – wonder what that's about – so Sarah moves forward in the group to get a better read on their conversation.
Alexis is pressing Graham for information on his love life – who is his girlfriend, what does she look like, where does she live, does he have a girlfriend, if not why not, what type of women does he like? This line of questioning began to make Sarah nervous. Graham was pretty good-looking – she could see why Alexis was so interested. He seemed pretty patient with the whole thing and finally turned the tables on her, half-asking, "I hear you like Steven?"
Wow, Sarah thought – either Peter told him about those two or he had picked up a lot about the kids in the last three hours since they set out on quest.
"What? Steven – No way he's a pest!" Alexis declared.
"They say two people arguing all the time is a sign that they like each other," Graham continued to press her as she had done to him earlier.
"Well, they're wrong," an incensed Alexis retorted.
"Sure…" Graham said slowly. He was not convinced, but it shut Alexis up for the moment and she dropped a bit behind him. He was worried he would have to reveal that he is gay before the day is out.
Not worried because he doesn't want to admit it but more because he doesn't know how they will all react. But there's no sense in stressing over it – I don't plan on keeping it a secret for long anyway, Graham thought.
With that there was a commotion behind them and he looked back to see Steven picking himself up off the ground. Alexis was nearby with an all too happy smile on her face.
Steven to Alexis: What hole did your parents find you in?
All Alexis could muster before the tears came streaming out was a loud, "Screw you!" She could not control her emotion – not this time – and that made her mad. She turned her back to the group and moved a few steps away.
Patrick looked up when Alexis had started to cry, "Great job Steve – you made her cry."
Steven was totally confused now – Alexis crying for no apparent reason – so in his haze he couldn't figure out anything to say except for a sarcastic quip in a baby voice, "What… d'you miss you're mommy?"
Sam caught up with the scene and was amazed to see that once again Steve was the cause of all the problems, "Steve, buzz off for once – you're such an ass sometimes!" Then he turned to Alexis, "Lex, he didn't mean it… really…"
At that Alexis turned to run crashing straight into Graham, "Alexis? You want to talk about it?" She turned back to face Steve and the rest of the group. Graham's hand rested gently on her right shoulder.
"I'm adopted ok? You happy Steve? My real mom didn't want me, why should anyone else!"
"Wow, we didn't know, sorry…" Sam apologizes.
"Stop apologizing for your stupid brother…"
With that Sam elbows Steve who finally clues in, though reluctantly, "Look I am sorry Lex. (pause) Have you always know you're adopted?" To which Sam elbows him again, only harder, provoking a loud angry, "What?" Sam just glares at Steven and rolls his eyes in frustration.
Surprisingly, to the group, Alexis continues, "No I just found out by accident about a year ago," and wipes the tears from her eyes.
Daniel feeling it's safe to asks a few more questions, "Do you know who you're real parents are?"
"No I've tried to find out. My adoptive parents say they don't know either – say it was too long ago to even bother – and that they're probably no records anyway. But I want to bother… " She steps away from Graham and begins to cry again. Patrick and Sam move in to put an arm around her shoulder, and she sobs, "I just don't know where to start."
The Rangers gather around Alexis, all except Steve who is just beginning to realize what he has done, and bear hug her until she shakes them gently loose. Sarah and Graham look at each other, like proud parents, now understanding better where her anger is coming from.
Later that evening, the Rangers are milling around the campfire and Alexis has started into Graham again about his love life – anything not to think about her parents. Graham finally figures he needs to say something before this all gets out of hand.
"Look Alexis, I don't have a girlfriend. I don't really look at women that way."
Several of the other students stop and turn to hear what Graham has to say. All these questions have peaked their curiosity as well. Alexis is still totally clueless, "huh? Why not?"
Patrick, who had been sitting beside her through the whole line of questioning, leaned in and suggested, "Ever think he might be gay?" Alexis looks at Patrick as if he'd grown an extra head, "No… no way…" turning to look at Graham, " Are you?"
A simple yes was his reply.
"Wow. I've never known anyone who's gay. That's cool. Too bad though…" and all the Rangers turned to hear what stupid thing Alexis would say next. "I could've really gone for a guy like you – good looking, strong yet gentle, C'est la vie…" and with that Graham laughs, mainly relieved that it went so well, and his smile eases the tension that has built over the last few minutes. All of the Rangers including Daniel are now sitting around the fire wondering what will happen next, they don't have to wait long.
Daniel quietly stands up and walks away from the group. Graham follows him to the edge of the campsite out of ear shot from the rest of the group.
Graham: Dan?
Dan still with his back to Graham: Leave me be.
G: you want to talk about this?
Daniel whips around to face Graham causing his head spin even more, "You know what I did – I'm sure you've read my file. Guess you hate me now?"
Graham (compassionately): No, I don't understand, but I don't hate you.
Daniel looks up at him briefly before turning away again, "You're right you don't understand. You never will either. So don't bother."
"You could try to help me understand…" Graham suggested to no avail. Daniel remained with his back to Graham who was determined not to let this slide.
"Look I was about your age when I started to question myself – my sexuality," Graham started carefully watching Daniel's body language for a sign that he was listening.
"I didn't ask for your life story you know."
"I know, but hear me out a sec. OK?" Daniel didn't move so Graham continued, "It was my senior year in high school – I had been dating this girl seriously for three years. We were more like best friends than anything romantic, but we still insisted we were dating, and she swore she was in love with me. I wasn't so sure I felt the same way. I had caught myself interested in someone else, a buddy of mine on the football team. Talk about confusing. The team was pretty intolerant of things like that – looking wrong at another guy in the locker room got you in some serious trouble. I wasn't sure what to do – I thought maybe it was just a phase – and it would pass, but it never did." Graham paused for a second. Daniel had shifted sideways but was still looking at the ground. He hadn't tried to move away.
"I wanted to tell someone – talk to anyone who might be able to help, but I didn't know who. I was afraid everyone would laugh or hate me. Especially my girlfriend – I couldn't imagine how she would take it. So I left without saying goodbye and headed to Seattle. I tore my family apart anyway and managed to break my girlfriends heart, but at least no one knew my secret."
Strangely it felt good to Graham to be telling this story – even if Daniel wasn't really listening. Though Graham was sure that he was at least listening a little bit, so he continued.
"When I got to Seattle the first guy I met hit on me in a bar. I couldn't believe that he knew I was gay, so I asked him how he could tell. He said, "I didn't, I was interested and took a chance." I was amazed – I would never have the guts to do that. We ended up dating for a few years…" Graham's voice trailed off for a moment Daniel was getting a bit uncomfortable now. "Anyway, it ended and we managed to stay good friends. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that these kind of feelings can be confusing, and not everyone understands, but I couldn't fight them just because I was afraid of what others might say or do. I had to be true to my self." Graham was trying to get his point across without using the word "You" so Dan wouldn't feel as though he was being accused of anything, but it didn't seem to work.
"Look," Daniel finally spoke defensively, "I'm not gay, if that's what you think."
"I wasn't saying you were – just suggesting that it helps to talk about things when you are confused. Even if it is how you feel about other people who are gay. If you feel threatened somehow. I'd like to understand – maybe even help?" Graham explained calmly.
"I'm fine." Daniel decided to continue, "and if I DO need someone to talk to I'm it sure won't be you."
"Well I'm here if you change your mind"
"Don't hold your breath" and he stormed off.
Graham returned to the campfire, most of the other students had gone off to bed not noticing the conversation between Daniel and Graham. Sarah is sitting reading by the fire.
"Kind of dark to be reading?" Graham commented.
"Oh hey," Sarah looked up startled. "How'd it go?" she asked motioning in Daniel's direction.
"Could've been worse. He's not going to try to hurt me – but he may not ever talk to me."
"He give you any hint to whether or not he's gay?"
"I'm guessing that he's struggling with the idea. He's adamant that he is straight and got a little angry when I suggested he be "true to his self"." Sarah smiled, Graham played that one pretty well, she had told him about the essay assignment and that Daniel's essay explained that he was not yet ready to be true to his self.
"We've been working on controlling his anger since he got here. The first two weeks of summer camp was pretty rough – he was starting fights left and right until he realized that he had nothing to prove and this was a chance to start over fresh."
They both paused to look at Daniel slowly getting ready for bed. Sarah smiled at Graham, "Hey thanks for everything – coming on quest, Daniel, Alexis. I didn't realize how much I needed help with this gang."
"I think you were doing just fine," Graham reassured her, "I'm honored to be working with you. Anyway you're pretty cool." Sarah blushed. "Oh and Sophie thinks so too," he added. He had bumped into Sophie that first afternoon on his way back to town and they had talked for a while. Sophie was an interesting character. Quite a free spirit it seems at first, but she definitely has some baggage. He was wondering what the relationship between Peter and Sophie was.
"Hey what's up with Peter and Sophie, they a couple?"
"They're engaged," Sarah replied with the suggestion of surprise in her voice.
"I never pinned Peter for the marrying type," graham thought out loud.
"Well, we never pinned you as gay…"
"Good point!" Graham paused, "Engaged huh? Do the kids know?"
"DO they? There's little they don't know. They told me about it the second day I was here. Apparently Sophie asked Peter outside of the senior MORP – Horizon's anti-prom." Sarah continued, "You can really learn a lot about what's going on just from talking casually to the kids. They're a fountain of information on one another."
"I'll keep that in mind…" Graham smiled and headed for his tent.
The next morning it was cool but clear and the Rangers had finished breaking down their tents and cleaning up the campsite. The previous day's turmoil seemed like a distant memory to most. Graham was impressed with the way most of the group handled his truth, but still worried about what was swimming around in Daniel's head.
They would spend one more night in the woods on this quest before returning to face the first day of classes. Grace had woken up early this morning not feeling so well. She was a bit light headed and sick to her stomach. She passed her upset stomach off as a result of the chili Graham had cooked up the night before, but she didn't know why she was feeling so woozy. She managed to strap her sleeping bag to her pack and began to stand up, trying to sling the pack over one shoulder then the other. This was too much for her, too quick, and everything around her started spinning just before it went black.
Lindsay had been closest to Grace when she went down and called for help. Grace was still breathing but she felt clammy and she wouldn't wake up when Lindsay shook her shoulder. Sarah saw Grace begin to collapse and ran over to help, "What happened?"
"I don't know," Lindsay was almost in tears, "She just passed out." This was scaring her. Grace stirred opening her eyes slowly and Lindsay grabbed her hand, stroking it. More to calm herself than anything else.
"It's ok Grace – don't move too quickly," Sarah said gently and Grace opened her eyes completely. Much to Grace's surprise the entire group was standing over her, Lindsay was holding her left hand and Sarah was taking her pulse on the right.
"mmm," Grace groaned, "I guess I passed out."
"Can you sit up?" Sarah helped Grace take off the heavy pack that was still attached to her shoulders before helping her to a sitting position. Graham handed Grace a water bottle and she took a sip. Sarah continued the questioning, "Do you know where you are?" Yes, Grace replied, "I think I'm fine. I just felt a little dizzy and must have stood up too quickly. The weight of the pack started to bring me down and then everything went black."
"How are you feeling now?" Sarah checked for a bump on the head finding nothing.
"Better, I think I may just need to eat something," Grace wanted the touching and the inquisition to end. She didn't like being fussed over and the group was crowding her. It took all she had not to yell at them to go away. "Could I get some space? And maybe some more oatmeal?" she asked as softly as possible. Her stomach felt so queasy she couldn't imagine eating, but she didn't know what else to do.
"OK guys, lets give her some room here," Graham stood up shooing the rest of the group, including Lindsay back to their stuff to finish packing, and he went to the still burning fire to heat up some oatmeal for Grace.
Sarah was still there when Grace looked up again, "Anything else I can do?" Grace nodded no. "Have you felt this way before – like in the past few weeks?" Again, a "no" from Grace.
"Do you think you can continue with the group today?"
Grace looked at Sarah's face, it displayed a look of genuine concern – no scolding and no disappointment. Grace was feeling better now and figured she could make it if she took it easy, "I think so – if we don't go too fast."
"OK, I want you to take it easy today – may just be that you are not used to all the hiking yet – we don't have far to go. Just half way back to school and we can set up camp near the River. Then tomorrow we'll only have a few miles left. If at any point you aren't feeling well let someone know immediately. OK?" Grace nodded "yes" relieved Sarah wasn't calling off the whole thing because of her. She would make it a point not to feel sick again. Graham came back with the oatmeal. Grace almost lost it at the sight of the mushy cereal, but she managed to force down a few bites while the two counselors looked on. When they were satisfied Grace was doing better, they left her and went to check on the others. Grace turned around and dumped the rest of the oatmeal behind a tree. She knew better than to leave human food behind in the woods but this time she just couldn't handle finishing it.
Soon they were all ready to go, the fire had cooled sufficiently, and the group set out, back for the school.
… that night at the river site, the Rangers are finishing up a group session and heading off to bed. Alexis is still by the fire trying to warm up before making the dash to the cold sleeping bag waiting in her tent. Patrick gets up to go, hesitating, then sits back down beside her. Everyone else, except Graham who has gone to the River for some water, has gone to bed.
Patrick turns to talk to Alexis. "You really want to find your birth parents?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah why?"
"Well maybe I can help when we get back to school."
"How?"
"Leave that to me – I can't promise anything except that'll I'll try. I need some information though – anything you know: where you were born, which hospital, date and time, those kinds of things."
"Sure…" she pauses then, "Thanks…"
"I haven't done anything yet."
"No thanks for wanting to help me find them. It's just that everyone else tells me to forget about it. Just give up."
"If you want something bad enough you can't give up," Patrick preached. It was what kept him going. He loved the challenge of trying to break a computer security program, find a hole in a computer's operating system or plant something that no one can find all without betting caught. It was an adrenaline rush. Once he found a new challenge he wouldn't leave it until he succeeded. He was sure it would be a piece of cake to hack into the hospital computer to find Alexis' birth records, if they existed.
"OK just write down the info and give it to me when we get back tomorrow. It may take me a few days to get to it – Peter's pretty tight about the computers especially since the one in his office crashed." The thought of Peter's reaction when his computer went blank… Priceless…
"Thanks again." Alexis said as Patrick got up to go.
Early the next afternoon, the Rangers paraded back onto campus exhausted, but generally happy. They got their last escape before school and there were no curve balls thrown their way. Sarah and Graham decided it was enough for the kids to handle a new counselor that they didn't want to push their luck. Overall the kids really made a good team despite Alexis' whining and Steve trying to pick a fight every second.
The girls were back in their dorm. Lindsay was getting her laundry together and asked if Grace or Alexis had anything they needed washed. Grace had just collapsed on her bed when they got back and was still staring at the ceiling.
"Hey Grace, you okay?" Lindsay called when Grace didn't answer her question.
"Yeah, just tired," Grace sighed.
"Any laundry?"
"Some, but I can do it later. No biggie. I'm too tired to sort it now anyway."
"OK I'll be back. See you later." And Lindsay left the room. Tears begin to fall quietly from Grace's eyes. She didn't know at this point whether she was sad or just plain tired. Either way she just wanted to sleep forever. She closed her eyes and rolls onto her side before falling into a deep sleep.
When Grace woke up it was late – she'd missed dinner, which doesn't bother her, since she wasn't really hungry anyway. The dorm is empty and the lights are dim. She turns on a light and goes into the bathroom to wash her face. Her eyes are tired with dark circles under them and her hair is a disaster. She picks up a brush trying to work the tangles out. At the pain of the brush snagging the first knot, the flood gates open and she can't stop crying.
Lindsay walks in holding an apple and a sandwich, "I thought you might be hungry?"
Grace looks at her through the mirror. Lindsay's face is like a book – she's worried and even scared to see Grace crying. Grace drops the brush in the sink and takes the sandwich devouring it in a few bites, "Thanks…"
Lindsay puts the apple down on a shelf and picks up Grace's hairbrush. "I can brush your hair if you want. I'll be gentle – my little sister always comes home from school with huge tangles the size of a fist. I've gotten pretty good at getting them out pain-free." Grace consents and they go sit on her bed. Lindsay combs her hair in silence, "All done", and hands the brush back to Grace. Grace smiles a thank you. Emotionally drained Grace turns to go to bed as Alexis comes back into the dorm.
"Good night, guys…" she says exhausted and snuggles under the sheets for a long night's sleep.
Lindsay and Alexis try to be quiet and not wake her. Alexis is too excited to sleep. The thought of Patrick trying to find her birth parents… She wants to run around and tell the world. So she grabs her book and sits on the floor of the bathroom reading the last trashy romance novel that she managed to sneak into the school, and past her parents, by taking the cover off another less racy book and putting it on this one.
Next time: Grace feels sick again, Patrick has some news for Alexis – not all good, Lindsay acts on her feelings for Daniel, Peter and Sophie have a long awaited talk…