DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEITHER D. GRAY-MAN OR THE SONG
Tyki075: Hello people! You cannot blame me for anything that is about to happen!
Tyki: What the fuck are you going to do?
Tyki075: Nothing much, I swear, it's not angsty.
Tyki: *narrows eyes* Then what is it?
Tyki075: You'll have to find out!
Tyki: I don't trust you.
Tyki075: To be fair, I don't trust me either.
Tyki: Great, just… great.
Tyki075: I think so! Okay guys, I don't have anything to say. I hope you all like the story! Again, don't blame me for what you're about to read! Let us set forth!
'Moyashi' = Neah talking
'Moyashi' = Someone's thoughts
"Moyashi" = Neah talking OUTSIDE Allen's head
Too Sexy for His Shirt:
Allen had been in a lot of battles, way too many to count, but none of them had gone quite like… this.
He couldn't even really describe what 'this' was.
It had started like a normal fight. He was facing off against a certain Noah of Pleasure, so he wasn't quite sure what to expect. The man was odd, to say the least, but he had never – ever - expected this.
Tyki had just flung Allen back and the Exorcist was preparing to launch another attack when the Noah suddenly stood rigid.
"Mikk?" Allen asked warily, moving into a defensive position.
'What's wrong with Myki?' Neah's voice came floating into his head, his tone lazy and unconcerned.
'I'm not really su-' Allen stopped when a smirk made its way across Tyki's face.
"Hey, Alley-chan…" Tyki purred.
'How dare he use that name! Only I can call you that!' Neah yelled.
"Have you ever thought you were just too sexy?" Tyki continued.
Everything froze. Allen stared wide-eyed, mouth agape at his enemy. There was a complete silence across the forest clearing. Even Neah had stopped mid-rant and Allen could feel the shock rolling off his uncle in waves.
Suddenly Tyki Mikk; Noah of Pleasure, Destroyer of Crown Clown (almost), Third Apostle, Tentacle Monster (Y'all know what I mean), one of the Order's most notorious enemies, and Neah's arch rival, began singing.
"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love. Love's going to leave me." Tyki sang in this baritone voice, dancing slightly.
Allen's eyes were about ready to pop out of his head.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts." Tyki literally ripped off his shirt, not even bothering to faze through it, throwing it to the side.
Neah let out a choked sound, something that sounded like laughter.
"I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan." The Noah began gyrating his hips.
Neah let out a full-blown laugh, soon unable to stop.
Allen, on the other hand, was having a hard time processing what the fuck was happening.
"I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party, no way I'm disco-dancing."
Neah knew that, if he had any lungs, they would definitely be hurting with how hard he was laughing.
"I'm a model, you know what I mean." Tyki did this little strut, "And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah. I do my little turn on the catwalk."
Allen covered his face with his hands, hesitantly peeking through his fingers.
"I'm too sexy for my car (even if they didn't have cars back then), too sexy for my car. Too sexy by far."
'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I-I can't! Oh sweet Jesus! Oh my god!'
"I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that?" Tyki's hands were behind his head as his hips swayed, still shirtless.
Allen blinked once. Twice. Thrice. He was completely baffled at what he was seeing. Where was the dignified (sometimes) Tyki Mikk he knew?
"I'm a model, you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah. I shake my little tush on the catwalk." Tyki wiggled his butt, making Allen's jaw drop and Neah's laughter to grow in volume.
'OH PLEASE STOP!' Neah howled in laughter, 'I CAN'T TAKE IT! AHAHAHAHAHA!'
"Too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my… I'm a model, you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah. I shake my little tush on the catwalk.
"I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat. Poor pussy, poor pussy cat."
'WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!' Neah was laughing so hard there were tears in his 'eyes'.
"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love. Love's going to leave me." Tyki repeated, not even fazed by what he was doing, "I'm too sexy for this song."
Everything was silent against, except for Neah's loud obnoxious laughter.
Tyki suddenly jerked, then blinked, "What's happening?"
Allen stared in shock, wondering the exact same thing himself.
"Why is my shirt gone?" Tyki shrieked.
"You were too sexy for it." Neah snickered, taking control of Allen's body.
"What?" Tyki asked helplessly.
Neah burst into another fit of laughter, clutching his stomach and doubling over, "Oh, Myki, it hurts."
"… Myki…? Wait…" Tyki frowned, then his eyes widened, "Myki plus asshole personality equals… NEAH!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Neah was literally rolling on the floor.
"Really Neah, what happened?! I blacked out." Tyki cried.
"Your gayness took over!" Neah howled.
"Neah!" Tyki yelled.
While Tyki screamed and Neah laughed, two figures laughed evilly to themselves in the shadows.
"Come on Road, my dear!" A voice whispered, "Before my darling brother finds us!"
"Yes Daddy!" Another voice sang.
"You're so cute!" Blood spurted from the first person's nose.
The second person sighed before grabbing the first figure and dragging them away.
"You were just too sexy for your cat!"
"SHUT UP NEAH!"
End.
Tyki075: I apologize. Sincerely.
Tyki: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!
Tyki075: Truth be told, I'm actually not entirely sure. My friend was singing this song and I was all like… 'What if Tyki…?'
Tyki: You should know that you shouldn't actually listen to your ideas!
Tyki075: You shut up! Already guys, that's really it. Please review, fav, follow, etc. Squadala!