Doctor who and the Chavs-updated version
Note-To see orginal version go to s/3164864/1/Doctor-who-and-the-chavs
It was Saturday afternoon during the summer time and a three Fifteen year old Chavs where hanging around outside the off licence, drinking their bottles of lambrini and white star whcih they had purchased with fake IDs
"Ya know wot right, if dat Hannah Jones gives me Da dog eye again, I iz gonna fix her face wit ma fist innit" said a red headed chav by the name of Laura Z.
"Innit" the other chavs agreed. Suddenly, a tall man in a brown pin stripped suit, long brown trench coat and red converse sneakers came walking in their direction and when he arrived at the little gang of Chavs, he gave them a friendly smile.
"Excuse me, but do any of you know where the local cafe is, I'm feeling a little peckish and I fancy myself a nice bacon sandwich" the man in the brown coat said and the Chavs just gave him dirty looks.
"We iz like well not gonna tell you where da cafe is innit, you is gonna have to find it yaself" said a chav boy wearing his burberry cap backwards who went by the name of DJ rockhard.
"Now sling ya hook mate, we don't like other folk hanging in our sapce, ya dig blud?" said the third Chav who was another boy with a shaven head, wearing a matching blue addidas tracksuit, loads of bling bling and he also had a vicious looking pit bull terrier on a strong leash and he went by the name of Kris Da rapper.
"Well there is no need to get all hostile is there. If you don't want to tell me where the local cafe is, then I'll ask somebody else which is fine" the man in the big coat pointed out.
"Ya go and well like do that then innit" said Laura Z.
"And If I was you, I would like well not come round here again or else ya be like well having trouble from us innit" added Kris Da rapper. The man in the big coat nodded, turned around and headed off in the opposite direction, hands in his trouser pockets.
"God, wot a tosser" said DJ rockhard "do we well look like da kind of people to give directions to strangers?"
"No innit" said Laura Z "forget him, let's go down to da park and graffiti the swing set." So the three Chavs made their way towards the local park when they came across a Poilce box which was standing just on the corner of the road.
"Wot da heck is dis like?" kris Da rapper asked "is dat one of them police box things dat they had back in da day when ma grandparents woz young like?." The three Chavs gathered around the Police box and stared up at it with faces of disgust and confusion.
"Here, hows about we grafiti dis ugly thing like?" DJ rockhard suggested, whipping out his spraycan and giving it a shake before proceeded to spray DJ ROCKHARD WOZ ERE on the doors. Laura Z and Kris Da rapper also decided to write grafiti on the Police box, writing obscene phrases and their names when they suddenly heard someone clearing their throat behind them. The three Chavs turned around to see the tall man in the long brown coat standing behind them, arms folded and leaning against the wall.
"And just what do you think you three are doing?" he asked, raising one of his eyebrows.
"We is like grafiting this old police box innit, wot has it like well got to do wit ya?" DJ Rockhard asked.
"Everything actually because that Police box happens to belong to me" the man in the brown coat pointed out as he walked towards the Chavs, showing them something which resembled an I.D "I am officer Plod and you have defaced my Police box, therefore I place you all under arrest."
"You is like well not a copper innit, ya don't dress like one" Kris Da rapper said.
"I'm undercover" the man in the brown coat pointed out " looking for certain trouble makers like you, now by the laws of Officer Plod and the Police department of Gallifrey, I hearby charge you with the crime of gratifying an item of the law, now get inside the Tar-I mean Police box."
"Wot da heck is Gallifrey?" Laura Z asked.
"Never mind, just get inside all of you, you all under arrest" the brown coated man told them sternly.
"well we iz like well not going to prison innit" said DJ rockhard "I has like well been there six times, it is like well boring."
" Oh I'm not taking you to prison, I am going to take you somewhere much worse oh and I'll have to confiscate those spray cans thank you" the man in the coat said before taking the spray cans from the Chavs before opening the doors to the Policebox and shoving the three of them inside.
"What the-?" DJ rockhard could be heard saying from the inside before there came a strange whirring noise and the Police box vanished from the spot only to arrive in another location which didn't look like Earth a few seconds later. The door to the Police box opened and the three Chavs where shoved out.
"wot is dis place like?" kris Da rapper asked.
"This is where you will serve your sentence and you will be serving it with these guys" the man in the brown coat pointed out with a huge grin. The Chavs looked around too see three weird robot things which resembled pepperpots and had something which looked like an egg whisk and sink pluncher attached to the front advancing towards them.
'Wot is these things like?" Dj Rockhard asked.
"Oh these things, I call them Daleks and they like to Exterminate people, well I must be going now, have fun with the Daleks, bye." The man in the coat then wnet back inside the Poilce box and it vanished yet again just as the Daleks surrounded the three chavs and kris Da rapper's Pit bull terrior was growling.
"EX-TER-MIN-ATE" the Daleks roared and the three Chavs hugged each other and screamed. Meanwhile, the Doctor was relaxing in his Tardis after an eventful day but now he was propped up on his chair with a cup of coffee and reading a comic book.
"That will teach those pesky little Chavs not to grafiti my Tardis" he said to himself with satisfaction.