RP2000
Part III
"After a Long Wait"
Welcome back viewer….
Last time on RP2000 –
- Qui-Gonn Jin entered battle with an unexpected guest – Darth Vader! In the confusion, Jar Jar Binks, Ka'jor Tarpals, Obi-Wann, Luke and Anakin Skywalker left the battle to meet up with Boss Nass and Trace Kyshad back at his flat in order to return them to their rightful home. But, Trace realised that some of the characters were still missing! Mace Windu and began a fast and furious chase with great anger against Boba Fett. And Maul, Sidious and Yoda continued their search for their 'God' – George Lucas…
With precious little time, Trace, Jar Jar and Tarpals began their flight with the help of three wandering (Yet famous) dragons to find the two Sith and the Jedi Master. But time is running out, daylight is coming, and then all will know of the characters existence, which could lead to disaster…
Now the story continues….
"Hey!"
"What?"
"Someone's following us!" Maul peered out of the window to see three approaching creatures. Yoda and Sidious looked as well, "He's right!"
"1000 feet up, we are! Who be it?" Yoda continued to concentrate on flying the car.
"I think it's…… aw nuts!" Maul sighed.
"What?"
"It's that damn frog again?"
"Frog?" Sidious looked confused.
"Jar Jar!" Maul groaned, and looked again, "For the love of… there's two of them!"
"Two Jar Jar's?" Sidious looked worried.
"NO! You twat!" Maul snapped, "Jar Jar and some other Froggie thing."
"The hell are you on about?" Yoda interrupted. "Chase us, two frogs?"
"Just shut up and keep driving!" Maul ordered.
"Hey! Who are you to give the orders?" Sidious asked, Maul shrugged.
"Well… you're not much of a master are you? Where were you when I had two Jedi Knights kicking my ass!?"
"Hey! Don't blame me! At least you killed one of them."
Maul groaned.
"…And you would have had both of them if you didn't ass about when OB was hanging around!" Sidious continued.
"Hate to interrupted, I do" Yoda butted in, "but what happened to the 'Frogs'?"
The two looked back, the dragons were not there any more.
Suddenly a large thud hit the flying car. Followed by a shout of 'Jah Jah! Wasssa you doin'?'
"What the HELL?!?!?" Shouted Maul, as he saw Jar Jar climbing around on the car bonnet. "Get this Gungan fool of me!"
Falcor looked pleased. 'Thank god he's off my back! He didn't stop shouting'.
"Uh oh!" Gorbash shouted,
"What?"
The group began to fly into a storm cloud.
"Looks like we're going down fast!" Trace shouted, as rain and thunder fell around them, and a strike of lightning hit Gorbash's right wing.
"Ouch Time!" Tarpals shouted, as the three Dragons and the car began to fall through the air.
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! CAN'T SEE A THING!" Gorbash shouted. Trace held on.
"We're – Gonna – hit – Lucas – Film – Studios – Brace – Your – Selves – ARG!!!!"
"Here we come Lucas!" Maul shouted, "I'll make you pay for killing me! Mu huh huh uha ha ha !"
CRRRRRRAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
"Ow!"
***
"Master!" Obi-Wann shouted.
Qui-Gonn and Vader continued their fight over tables and chairs and happy meals. The customers watched the two thinking it was some kind of publicity stunt. Obi Wann, Luke, Anakin and Boss Nass ran in.
"Obi-Wann! Just in time!" Qui-Gonn shouted, as he delivered a swift kick to the Sith Lord, who blocked it and pushed the Jedi over the counter knocking over some fries. "Ow!"
Obi ignited his Sabre and ran to help his master. The Skywalker's looked at them. Anakin turned to Luke.
"We have to help them!"
"You're right!" Luke agreed. "Hey! Father!"
Vader turned to face Luke and Anakin. "Son?"
"Father?"
"Son?"
"Hey!" Anakin shouted, "I'm his father and there's no way in HELL I'm going to become you OK!?"
Vader laughed, "It is your destiny, as it was mine."
"There's no way you will turn me! Like you never turned your son… my son… ah hell!" Anakin shook is head. "No way!"
"Then I will destroy your friends…I'll destroy the Queen, I'll destroy Jar Jar…"
"As will we!" A group formed behind Vader. "Kill Jar Jar!" they shouted.
"Why the hell would you want to kill Jar Jar?" Anakin shouted back.
The group laughed, "Why would we not want to kill him!"
(OK, you know this conversation…)
(Que lots of ranting about 'He ruined the film' and 'He is not funny')
Obi turned to Qui-Gonn, who was eating some fries while the Skywalkers argued. "You hear that master?"
"Yes my young padawan, the innocent are in danger!"
"Well…. That's not quite what I was…"
"It wasn't? Let me guess, you would like Jar Jar dead as well?"
"Wouldn't you?"
"Well… Think of the merchandising!"
Obi Wann stopped and thought. 'Come to thing of it, I have seen a lot of stuff with his face on it…'
"Indeed! Lucas will need the money to make the other films amazing! Even if I'm not in it!"
"Ok then… I'll help him, just this once."
"Good!"
Obi-Wann looked to the door. "We have to find him first before they do… Where will we start?"
"Kyshad said something about flying to 'Lucasfilm'." Qui Gonn explained, "If Trace was correct, we'll find them soon enough!"
The two Jedi ran out of the door, leaving the other's to argue.
***
Mace Windu began to throw loaves of bread at Boba Fett as he ran. One of them hit the bounty hunter right in the face. "Gotcha!"
"Why don't you give up!" Boba Fett shouted back, shaking the crumbs off his helmet.
"I don't give up!"
"Clearly!" Mace laughed, "The Force is strong with you, you should be a Jedi."
"No thanks!" Fett replied, and fired a blaster shot toward Mace, who deflected it back.
"That all you got?" Mace ran toward him with his sabre raised. Fett dived away and sweep kicked the Jedi to the ground.
"Chu' ba, Nig Tawa!" Shouted a voice, it was Jabba the Hutt.
"What the HELL are you doing here Fat boy!" Mace looked toward the large slug.
"Oonta Chowie Sa'ha Noba."
"What?" Mace and Fett asked.
"Oh for the love of God, Will you stop fighting!" Jabba spoke, this time in English. The others looked confused.
"I thought there wasn't going to be any more characters arriving?" Mace spoke.
"I have my ways of…. Persuasion." Jabba laughed, "Ah, Boba Fett, wise hunter, I have a job for you…"
"Shut the HELL up, both of you before I ram my Sabre up your big fat a…"
"Shut up Window!" Boba Fett silenced him.
"IT'S WINDU!" Mace grew annoyed at Fett.
"Ok, Windy."
"THAT'S IT!" Mace ran toward Fett, who was laughing at his joke, and swung his sabre at him. The blade sliced through his helmet. Fett dropped to the floor.
"No-one, but NO-ONE, makes fun of Jedi Master Mace Windu!" Mace put away his Lightsabre. He looked at Jabba.
"And if you don't move your ass back to Tatooine I'm gonna make your tail a lot shorter, you dig?"
Jabba looked as scared as he did angry, and decided to take the Jedi's advice, and left the shopping mall. Mace looked at the body of Fett, and began to walk out into the street.
***
"Get Me Out Of This Damn Car!" Maul shouted. Yoda Groaned, and fell unconscious.
The two SIth looked out of the wreckage of their car, only to see the stunned face of a white bearded man wearing glasses.
"Are you George Lucas?" Maul asked the man.
"Um… yes…"
"I'm gonna so kill you for what you did to me in 'The Phantom Menace'."
"What?"
"You heard!" Maul ignited his double bladed lightsabre. "Slice me in half will ya?"
"Hey! Horny Boy! Don't kill out God!!!" Sidious shouted at him.
"I'll kill him if I want to kill him!" He glared at Lucas, "Unless you bring me back in Episode II!"
"Never!" Lucas shouted back.
"Then you will die!"
"As your master I order you to stop!" Sidious shouted.
"Do you want me to tell everyone who you really are?" Maul threatened him.
"Well…. Not really…" Sidious cowered away.
"Then shut up!"
Suddenly three figures appeared out of the wreckage of the studio. "Stop right there Maul!"
"Kyshad? Damn!"
"And I've brought some friends."
"Hey youssa! Stoppa there!" Tarpals appeared out of the haze, holding his Electro-pole.
"You just had to say that didn't you?" Trace looked at him. Tarpals grinned.
"Is one of my best lines in da film!" Tarpals explained.
"Exsqueese me? But my need help here!" A faint mumble was heard underneath a large plank of wood.
Trace lifted up the wood and Jar Jar shook his head. He looked up at the fierce Sith Lord who glared at him. "Youssa again? My thought you was pasted?"
Maul was not impressed. "Two frogs and a pathetic human?"
"Hey! Don't Call Me a FROG!" Tarpals shouted at him.
Lucas began to sneak away.
"Where do you think you're going? I'll make you pay!"
"Jar Jar! Get Lucas somewhere safe!" Trace ordered, "Me and Tarpals will take care of Maul!"
Tarpals gulped, "We will?"
"Yes!"
"My no helpin him unless he promise to make me in da second and third film!" Jar Jar moaned.
"Fine! Anything! Just get me out of here!" Lucas shouted in a panic. "This guy's got a real Lightsabre!"
"Naw… really? You don't say!" Maul laughed. "You think that Frog will help you?"
"Maybe not! But We will!!!!!!" Obi Wann shouted.
The two Jedi Knights ran into the studio, and ignited their Sabres. "You're going down Maul!"
"Who's he?" Qui Gonn looked at Lucas.
"I'm George Lucas, I created you."
"Oh… Right…"
"Can you all just SHUT UP and let me fight someone!!!!" Maul cried out.
"What are you here for?" Trace asked the two Jedi.
"We're hear to save Jar Jar!" Qui Gonn explained.
"From who?"
"Huh?" Jar Jar began to panic.
A sudden crash though the studio wall stopped the conversation.
"From us!" Shouted a battle droid. "Get him!"
A large army of Droids ran into the studio armed with blasters. They were chanting 'Kill Binks! Kill Binks'.
"What got into them?" Trace shouted, "They suddenly hate Jar Jar A LOT!"
"Maybe some AJ's reprogrammed them!" Obi Wann spoke.
"Great, we can't fight this battle here!"
"You're mine Lucas!" Maul shouted.
"Not today!!!!" Qui Gonn shouted, and closed his eyes.
A blinding light followed, and the group found themselves back at Trace's flat. Trace, Jar Jar, Tarpals, Boss Nass, George Lucas, Obi Wann, Qui Gonn, Yoda and Sidious. Luke and Anakin ran in, gasping for breath.
"What happened?" Lucas was confused.
"I just saved out butts!" Qui Gonn explained.
"Huh?"
"Force Teleport!"
"Oh…"
Sidious weeped, "My own apprentice, turning against me like that…"
"Ah shut up!" Qui Gonn snapped, "You're not getting any pity from us Palpy!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT! YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE!!!"
"Yeah sure…"
"Good job you took us here, we need some reinforcements if we're going to take on Maul and those AJ's!" Trace explained, and booted up the computer.
"There's thousands of droids coming this way!" Luke shouted, "Vader, Maul and some others seem to be controlling them!"
"How long will it take before they all find us?" Obi Wann asked.
"They will know where we went…" Trace spoke as he typed. "We have to set up our fortress here!"
"In a block of flats?" Lucas looked worried.
"Dissen no exaclty a castle…" Tarpals laughed. Boss Nass frowned at him.
"Weesa get loadsa warriors to help us! Right Trace?"
"Right!" Trace hit a key. "We're gonna need a lot of help!"
Mace Windu ran into the room, looking pleased with himself, Jabba followed.
"Sluggy here needs to go back where he came from!" He explained, pointing to Jabba.
"Not now Mace, we have a problem." Trace explained. "There are a thousand terrible things heading this way!"
"Say what?"
"The two Sith and some really pissed off people who hate Jar Jar have somehow got possession of a large army of Battle droids, and we have to stop them from reaching here!"
"All this to save Binks?" Mace Windu looked shocked.
"Hey!" Jar Jar looked offended, Mace ignored him.
"Not just him, but Lucas too!"
Lucas sighed, "Some people are just plain weird,"
"We need a plan…" Trace thought. "A good plan."
"Hey!" Obi Wann laughed, "We've done this before! Duel of the Fates remember?"
"Ummm. I didn't get to do that?" Luke stared at Trace. "What's 'Duel of the Fates'?"
***
Next Chapter
Will the Sith be defeated?
Will George Lucas survive?
Will Qui Gonn die (Again)?