Matt watched as Mello left, feeling...broken himself. He didn't want to hurt him. He never wanted to.
But he did.
And he knew he would again if he had stayed. Why did the blond have to fall for him? Why couldn't Matt love Mello like he knew he should, like he wanted to?
Fuck, he thinks, picking up his bag and walking, following the silent, broken hearted blonde. His knees shook, his heart was thudding, he wanted to take those words back.
Why? he heard a voice in the back of his head ask in its ever mocking tone. You don't love him like you should. Why do you want him back?
He didn't know. He didn't have any answers. He was just a stupid teenage boy, with no apparent self control, no idea what he was doing. Really. What was there to love about him anyways? He was full of flaws, Mello was the beautiful one.
You hurt him, the voice sneered.
Shut up, he though back, tired, feeling drained. I know.
He walked quicker toward where he was going.
I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for my...'
I think it's every time I walk into a room
a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it
(Smiles turn to frowns)
Contact saying that you are the rain on their parade.
And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?
I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
Or maybe it's all eyes on him
in love with ego and intention
the eyes that are just begging me for more.
This is gone and I can see it
your head is full of words,
full of words that don't mean anything.
And how long could you hang on to a word?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?
I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
(If that's how you feel, then what's there to do?
I'll keep this feeling in my heart
but when you look in my eyes, you will know the truth.)