The night was still and quiet; it was as if the world were frozen in darkness. Under normal circumstances, it probably would have been relaxing to just gaze into the sky and watch the stars. But for Tom, it was an agonizing hell.
After flopping around in the soft hotel bed like a fish out of water for three straight hours and not a wink of sleep, the man with the cornrows sat up and massaged his temples. It had been a week since the tour had ended. A week had passed since the band members returned to their respective homes for a short break before going back to the studio. A solid week had been wasted—away from Gustav.
Being the one in the band with the girl-crazy reputation, Tom could never tell Georg or even his twin brother Bill about his newfound feelings for Gustav. It was already hard enough to even have admitted it to Gustav himself—and the drummer had confessed the same feelings to Tom first.
Despite the denial Tom had thrust upon himself for so many months, the feelings were entirely real. And the fact that Gustav loved him back had made things even harder to ignore. He didn't know when he would see his beloved drummer boy again, and a week was long enough. Tom needed Gustav and he needed him now.
Grabbing his cell phone off the nightstand, the guitarist dialed the number his fingers knew all too well. With the phone to his ear, his heart pounded brutally as the ring on the other end buzzed once, then twice. Within seconds, Tom wondered if he was being too impatient; what if Gustav was still asleep? It was half past midnight, after all.
But Tom was hopeful. Squirming out of his bed, he tiptoed past the bed Bill slept soundly in and stepped into the bathroom. After locking the door behind him, the guitarist winced as he flicked on the blinding lights and another buzz sounded in his phone. But that buzz was the one that was cut off with a response.
"Hello?" Gustav mumbled sleepily.
"Oh sorry, Gusti," Tom whispered. "Did I wake you?"
The drummer's voice seemed to become energized when he realized it was Tom. "Hey, Tomi. No, you didn't wake me. Actually, I haven't been able to sleep all night. I couldn't get my mind off of you."
Tom sighed empathetically. "You and me both, love. Listen, I can't take it anymore. I want to see you again. Now. Tonight."
Gustav's voice changed again, this time uncertain. "Now? Are you sure, Tom? What will you tell Bill?"
Tom's voice became sinister. He had this planned for quite awhile now, though he was uncertain about how his boyfriend would react. "Bill doesn't have to know anything, because I'm sneaking out—and so are you. Pack a suitcase and meet me by the Magdeburg Library in an hour."
"Pack a…Tomi, what are you suggesting?"
"We're running away, Gustav," Tom explained. "Just you and me. If we can't tell Georg and Bill about us, we can't live with them. Now are you with me, or what?"
There was a brief silence before Gustav spoke up again. "Tom…I love you, but I'm not sure about this. Bill's your brother, and Georg is my best friend. We can't just abandon them."
"I'll leave Bill a note," Tom suggested. "Look, Gustav, it's our love or our friends. Obviously we can't have both."
Gustav sighed. "I'll see you at the library."
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I want nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
When Tom's bag was packed, he scribbled a note onto the small pad of paper that hotels leave on the nightstands. It read:
Dear Bill:
I will not be coming back. Don't take this the wrong way, and don't come looking for me. I have been hiding a dark secret that I cannot share with anyone, not even with you, my brother. Do not worry about my safety; Gustav is with me. I'll email you if I can, and questions may even be answered. But for now, I can't stay here. Farewell, Bill.
Your loving brother,
Tom
Tom's heart felt like a rock as he carefully set the delicate letter on top of his pillow. With two bags—one bearing his laptop and the other loaded with clothes and other necessities—he took one last look at his twin. Bill slept so peacefully, and Tom felt slightly selfish for leaving his little brother. But he hoped that Bill would understand the situation enough not to freak.
The guitarist made minimal noise, even after he successfully made it out of the room and exited the hotel. Once his bags were tucked neatly in the backseat of his car, he climbed into the driver's seat and shoved the key in the ignition. The white Audi rumbled to life, and Tom rolled it out of the parking lot and down the road.
When the guitarist arrived at the aforementioned library, all was quiet. Streetlights shined like orbs of light against the blackness of dusk every five feet, and Tom stood beneath one to check his watch. It read one thirty-seven—he was almost ten minutes late. But where was Gustav?
If only night could hold you
Where I can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
After a few minutes of waiting, Tom was relieved to see Gustav trudging up the sidewalk with a bag slung about his back. Their eyes met and twinkled brightly as they jogged toward each other.
Gustav threw his meaty arms around Tom's chest while Tom leaned in for a kiss. The two stood there beneath a streetlight and made out passionately; the damage done by separation healed as they caressed each other in their pool of light.
Once their immediate needs had been fulfilled, they both broke away. As Tom led his boyfriend back to his Audi, he pointed to the drummer's bag and instructed: "You can just throw that in the back. Hurry now; I want to be at least out of Germany by dawn."
Only when the twosome was in the car and speeding down the road did Gustav dare ask the question. "Tom, where are we going? Where do you plan on having us stay?"
Tom sighed, easing on the gas. "I don't know, love. But we're together now, and that's all that matters at this point. You got your wad of cash?"
"Yeah," Gustav replied. "You got yours?"
"Yep," Tom replied. "So we already have plenty of money; we'll just get a cheap motel somewhere and work something out. But like I said, at least we're together now."
Gustav leaned to the side until his head rested on his boyfriend's shoulder, and his hand reached over to the steering wheel and closed around Tom's. When he glanced out the windshield, he could barely make out a thin strip of orange along the horizon. Dawn was approaching, and he began to wonder how far they had gone.
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn