Summery: Stella has feelings for Mac but even when she does show it he never notices. After she has tried too hard to get him to notice and he doesn't react she decides to tell him up front. But how does he react when she does. [Pre-Peyton – some time before series 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything I wrote down. That includes characters of CSI NY.

A/N: Sadly my inspiration for this was thinking back to an experience I had with this guy who I really liked.

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I don't understand. How more obvious could I be? It's been years and he still hasn't blink and eye at me. All though subtle hints, all thoughs battering of the eye lashes. He must have been completely oblivious to it. I've flirted with him when ever I talked to him. But what's wrong, why doesn't he notice?

She walked into his office ready to explain everything. There was nothing wrong but she thought she had better explain it before she exploded. She was sick of trying her hardest for someone who never noticed and if she didn't tell him now she'd better just hold her peace.

'Mac?' She knocked on his door and peered in as he was looking at some papers.

'Stella,' he smiled up at her but she knew that it was just out of courtesy, 'what can I help you with?'

She tried to stay calm as she sat down in the chair in front of his desk. She was trying to think of some way that she could start of her conversation but in the end went with getting straight to the point.

'We're friends, right Mac?'

He was still holding some papers in his hand before he put them down and thought about what she'd just said.

'Yes, of course. Why?'

Gaining some confidence to say her mind she said, 'Well, have I ever been more than a friend to you?'

She knew she had helped Mac through a lot over the years, including the death of his wife but she felt that because of that she felt closer to him; she wanted to be closer to him.

'Not really. I've always thought we were just friends and colleagues.' His statement answered all of her questions but she wanted to know more.

'Even through all the times we used to curl up together in front of the TV at your place and watch movies or when you would remember about Claire and needed someone to talk about it with. It just never came to you that maybe we were a little closer than we made out?'

She knew he couldn't see where she was going with this but she knew he was going to try his best to make her feel better anyways.

'Well, I just thought we were just together as friends. That this was what best friends do for each other. Make each other feel special when were down and help us out.' He got up and walked around to sit in the other chair next to her. 'I never thought that you felt differently. I never knew you wanted anything else out of it.'

She knew she was strong and didn't want to show that she was not so she didn't even try to shed a tear for sympathy from him. She turned away from him so she didn't have to look but she continued to talk.

'I've just felt that over the years we've worked together we have gotten closer and I guess I've just started to be come fonder of you. I've done thing to try to get you to notice but, I'm sorry, you just don't.'

She could see out of the corner of her eye he dropped his head.

'No, Stel. I did notice but I just never knew how to react. I never know what to say and maybe I was even scared.'

She'd turned to look at him. His hand was resting on his knee and she picked it up into hers.

'Why? Why we're you scared? We've always been able to talk freely what made you keep it away from me?'

He looked up at her. She bit her lip slightly and using his free hand he pushed her hair out of her eye.

'I'm not ready. I still think of Claire some night and wish that she was still around. I still go to Ground Zero sometimes in case she might still be there and knows I am. I really do like you Stella but maybe we had just better keep it as friends.'

This time she dropped her head. He cupped her chin so that she could look at him.

'I'm so sorry. Maybe another time. Maybe even another place it might work. Just not now.'

He smiled at her before getting up. She sat for a moment longer before doing the same and seeing him at the door of his office.

'Thank you, Mac. At least now I know.' She gave him a hug and left.

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A/N: I don't particularly like that one. It didn't really impress me much. But I thought I'd just post it anyways.