A/N: Shortish drabble. Idk, this story was almost more of a vent than a fanfic. My apologies to watchers and avid readers for the lack of updates. Gran's in the hospital and I'm pretty sure her time's up and 2010 has just been a hell of a New Years, let me tell you.
Anyway, quick Kyle perspective story. Nothing important really. Rated for some language. That's all.
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Waiting.
Waiting for something stupid like the results to your IQ test or waiting for a friend or your mac 'n' cheese to be done in the microwave. Or waiting for the light to turn green or for the red hand to turn to the little walking man or for the old lady in front of you on the escalator to speed it up so you can catch your bus.
Little things.
Stupid things.
The timer counting down on a blood monitor, the bubbles to float to the top of a syringe or the shitty sugarless drink mix to settle at the bottom of the juice jug so that you can stab at it a little more and maybe it'll finally dissolve after a ten minute struggle.
Waiting for a cure.
Living off of sugar-free Kool-Aid. Sweetener and nuts and meats that you don't want or can't eat, and stabbing yourself four times a day to get the balance for the sugar you need to fight the fatigue that sends your daily lifestyle reeling out of control.
And there's risk of limb loss and blindness and if you're not careful and if you don't take your medicine then you've gotta just pray that maybe this little snack you're having won't have you up all night vomiting because your body couldn't handle it.
Couldn't balance like a normal body.
No Cadbury for you, not a Hershey's Kiss or a Hug - unless you take the right dose. But what a fucking hassle, huh? To weigh yourself down with that extra needle... or the click and peg of an insulin pump.
It's shitty.
Not like it's my fault either. I didn't ask for this disease, I didn't ask for this illness.
Just like I didn't ask for my parents to cut off my funds when they found out I was gay or just like I didn't ask the government to make us pay for the medicine that we need to live, because of course no doctor makes enough money.
That would be impossible.
And it doesn't matter how much money people are donating, the scientists are still looking for a cure after - wait, how many centuries now? Or maybe forever. Hmm. Who knows. Just like they don't know how to cure cancer. It doesn't seem so difficult from a civilian's perspective, but I guess the issue of 'examine a working pancreas to a not working one' or 'examine a mutated cell to a normal one' isn't getting through like everyone had hoped.
But it doesn't matter, of course. Because I'll probably get cancer anyway from all that aspartame. Rollback, why not just avoid ingesting the aspartame, Kyle? Oh right, because it's the main replacement in almost every diet beverage in existence. Which would be a necessity for me, being that I'm a diabetic, so sugar is out of the question.
Soon I'll be paying for my chemotherapy AND my insulin AND my supplies AND the brain surgery to remove that tumour caused by the aspartame in the diet beverages that I have to drink because I have no insulin in my body because of a little malfunction that is completely out of my control.
Funny how these things work, huh?
Pay to live or die trying.
It's how the world turns.