Title: For lack of a better title………Easier To Run
Rating: We changed the rating system so I don't know what it's called, but its pretty much G or PG in the other rating system.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, or Tristan (sadly) nor am I affiliated with the show in any way. And the song Easier to Run belongs to Tristan
Summary: This is just a one-shot about Tristan and Rory, in a way. Just a normal day for them. I do believe this is my first song fic. And I cannot believe that all this time Tristan was spelled Tristin. I got the DVDs and the summaries said Tristin but Tristan looks so much hotter and I like it better so I'm keeping it at that lol Yes, I'm crazy and stubborn but oh well.
Also, I'm very sorry to everyone who was expecting this to be my Princess Diaries "California, Here We Come" fic……..I am currently having writer's block for that and I'm hoping that this will inspire me. Hopefully it will be back up by the end of the month.
Tristan had grown up in a world full of socialites. A world full of money, power, privilege, and just about anything else that you would associate with the elite. He had expensive cars, expensive clothing, and a new girlfriend every week. He had anything he could ever want. Anything he could ever dream of. At least that's what he thought……….until he met her. Rory Gilmore. Mary. Rory was everything Tristan was not. She did not grow up in the world of the Hartford elite. She wasn't rich. Sure, she wasn't poor, but she couldn't have anything she possibly wanted at the snap of her fingers. She didn't have a new boyfriend every week. Yet, she was happy. She was different from the world he knew. That was what had intrigued him at first. A new girl. Something different. A new challenge unlike anything he had ever faced.
Tristan didn't know when Rory had changed into something other than just a conquest. He wasn't sure when or how it had happened, all he knew was that it had. Maybe it was the way she seemed happy in her own little world, without all the privileges he had. Maybe it was the way she would bite her bottom lip when she was concentrating. Or the way she would sit alone at lunch and not care what anyone thought of her. It could have been the way she was able to keep up with his bantering. The fact that she wasn't cheap and she didn't just want to be a conquest, that she had substance. Or maybe it was all of these things put together. All of these things that made up hisMary.
Tristan craved the happiness that Rory had. He wanted to be part of her world. He wanted her to share what was behind her smile. She had happiness, joy, laughter……..love. That was one thing that money could not buy him. He didn't think he needed it. He didn't need love to be successful. He told himself that love just wasn't his thing, and he had actually believed it, until of course he met Rory Gilmore. She was full of love. You could tell just by looking at her. She was full of life, and that's what he wanted. He wanted to be the object of her love. He wanted to experience what she felt. And he wanted to be part of her life.
For once in his life, he realized that he really couldn't have anything he wanted. Because the only thing he really wanted was the one thing he could not have, and that was her.
Rory was different, and as much as Tristan didn't want to admit it, he was scared out of his mind. He had never wanted anything so much. He had never felt like this before. When he was around her, he didn't know what to say. He knew that Rory was too good for him, and he had no chance of ever being with her. So he did what he had done his whole life. He hid himself behind a web of lies. He hid behind his money, his status at Chilton, his flavors of the week. At least this way he wouldn't feel rejected when Rory didn't love him. She would be rejecting Tristan for being a jerk, for being a player. But at least she wouldn't reject him for being himself.
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Tristan slammed Sissy…. Or was it Missy? Or maybe Cindy…….up against the locker which he knew was Rory's. He kissed her just like she wanted to be kissed. He did everything right, and she clung onto him tighter. Sure, she was a good kisser, but that didn't exactly mean he felt anything. Well maybe some hormones, but no emotions, that was for sure. He never did. Not with any of these girls. But they were just there, just there to fill the emptiness he felt inside, but it never succeeded.
He had grown up like this. He learned from example, his parents. His parents loved nobody. Not their children, not even each other. All he knew was what he had seen, and he had never seen love for real. He wasn't even sure it existed. His father was his primary example, with a new "secretary" every week. This was all he had known. Like Father, Like Son..
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played
He wished he had never grown up like this. He wished he could take back using his father as an example. If he had known the look of disgust Rory would give every time she saw him with a new girl, he would have never done these things in the beginning. If he could just take back all the lies, all the cheating, all the mistakes, he would. If he could give up all of his money to have her or be in her life, he would.
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
Someone cleared their throat, and Tristan had to pull away from whats-her-name. He knew who it was. He always knew when she was around. He turned his head and smirked.
"Hey Mary," he said, moving out of the way of her locker.
Missy, Sissy, Cindy, Whoever was trying to get Tristan to move down a locker and continue their game of tonsil hockey.
"I'll see you later," he said, waving her off without looking back.
He moved toward Rory and smirked, whispering next to her ear. "If you wanted a show, Mary, all you had to do was ask. I would have even made it one-on-one."
"What do you want, Tristan"
"How about dinner, Friday night?"
"As tempting as that sounds, I have plans."
"Saturday then."
"I have plans then too," she said, still retrieving things from her locker.
"Sunday," he tried, once again.
"Busy."
"Monday."
"Still Busy."
"You can really hurt a man's ego, Mare. I'm beginning to think that you just don't want to go out with me," he said, holding his chest and feigning hurt. Although little did she know that he didn't need to fake it when he was around her.
"Oh really…… What ever gave you that idea?" she said, rolling her eyes and walking away.
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
There it was again. The ultimate rejection. The pain. The hurt. But he wouldn't show it. He had been taught not to. Never show your pain. Never show your weakness, it wasn't the way of the Dugrey family. Dugreys didn't have weaknesses. They didn't feel pain. They were unstoppable, at least that's what he had been fed his whole life. He just hid the pain by planting his smirk on his face, and moving on to find……that girl…….as if nothing had just happened.
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
Sometimes he would let the real Tristan show. The vulnerable Tristan. The one who wanted to be loved and cherished and wanted and needed. The Tristan that wished he was good enough for Rory. The Tristan that was willing to give up anything for her, and he would treasure her forever if he had her. It would happen when he would spot Rory reading alone or sipping coffee like it was her lifeline or trying hard to concentrate. He would smile, but the minute someone saw him, he would hide the real Tristan behind his mask again. Hiding. That's what he did best. That's what he had grown accustomed to. And now, that was all he could do.
He wanted to be himself all the time, but he couldn't. He knew that Rory wouldn't want him. He just simply wasn't good enough. Plus, there was also the matter of Bagboy. The luckiest guy alive. Even he wasn't good enough for Rory, but that wasn't Tristan's choice to make. That was Rory's, and obviously she had decided for herself. So Tristan had no reason to be himself. He didn't want pity. He didn't want to be vulnerable. He only wanted Rory, and if she didn't want him for who he was, then there was no point in being himself at all. So he didn't. He hid.
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change
As school ended, he waited once again by Rory's locker, even though he was in the complete opposite direction. It had become a custom of his and his day was not complete without it.
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
"So, Mary, are we still on for Friday?" he asked, as Rory gathered her things.
"Only in your dreams, Tristan," she said, rolling her eyes and walking away.
"Every night, Mare. Every night," he said, knowing it was absolute truth. He could have sworn he saw her blush as she smiled slightly, but her back was turned, so he would never really know. But it was better that he didn't know, rather than him being wrong. Because it was the hope of him actually being right that kept him going day after day.
Tear drop
A/N: Ok, now review. Tell me if you like it or hate it or what could have been better. Just let me know, k? Thanks so much!