A/N: I swear upon my Naruto stuff that I have been a good girl, that I have not been slacking, and that I've been uberly busy. I have quite a few field trips this month, tests are being prepared for, and yeah. This fic I blame upon Ed, Edd n Eddy where Eddie was having all the bad luck and a skunk suddenly sprayed him--the little noise that came with it was just too amusing and inspirational (don't ask, it just was for me). Anyway, enjoy my short burst of crack to let you all know I'M STILL ALIVE!

Warnings: OOCness, authoress on crack, you know, the usual.

Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Smelly Revelation
by Mint Pizza Queen

'Sometimes,' Sasuke thought, 'it's just not worth the effort to get out of bed.'

This new revelation came to him after he was awoken abruptly from his peaceful slumber by pounding and screeching from his front door. He knew that voice to be none other than Naruto, but why he was at his house this early in the morning caused the Uchiha to dash out of his room and take a flying leap for the front door.

That was his first mistake.

His second? Oh, opening the door.

The odor hit him so hard that he stumbled back coughing and gagging, scratching at the air for relief.

His relief came with a swift kick to the door, slamming it shut.

Phew, that was close.

He sniffed distastefully. The smell still lingered, but wasn't as strong as it was before.

The pounding resumed.

"Hey! Is that anyway to treat me? Open this door!"

Snort. "No, you stink."

"That's why I'm here!" The pounding had stopped, but the blonde was now digging his door viciously.

"You came here to have me tell you that you smell of rancid cheese? Well, I told you. Go away."

"Bastard! I need help getting rid of the smell!"

"Take a bath."

There was a pause, which was instantly followed by a stream of curses and violence directed towards the door. "ARGH! I've tried already! It didn't work!"

"Did you use soap?" Sasuke stressed the last word only to feel the door start to vibrate violent. That meant Naruto was currently leaning on it and was trembling with rage. "Hey, I was just checking!"

"Yes, asshole, I used soap. I scrubbed. I changed. It's still there!"

"Just what exactly happened?"

There was a silence followed by a soft sigh. "I got sprayed by a skunk."

"...what?" Sasuke pressed his ear against the door to make sure he heard it right. Skunk? No freaking way--

--right?

"I got sprayed by a skunk!"

Another silence filled the voice, and Sasuke could hear Naruto knock tentatively on the door. "Erm, Sasuke?"

"..."

"Are you laughing at me!?"

"..."

"You are, aren't you!? Bastard!"

Sasuke debated on whether he should laugh at his misfortune or whether to help. On further pondering, he realized that if he wanted to spar, he would be doing so with a stinky-butt blonde teammate.

Oh, poo.

"Damnit, Sasuke! Just you--"

The door flew open and Sasuke instantly doused Naruto with air fresheners. He let out an outraged growl and lashed out, just barely missing the Uchiha.

"Argh! Sasuke!"

Just as quickly as it happened, Naruto found himself in the Uchiha's backyard, Sasuke wearing a face mask and wielding a scrubbing brush and hose.

"Now stand still."

"Wait!"

Cold water hit him full throttle and the blonde squealed from the sudden frigidness. After the quick douse, Sasuke poured a liquid onto his teammate. Concern and nervousness clouded the blonde's features.

"W-what is that?"

"Secret recipe." Sasuke threw the container off to the side and began to scrub the blonde's hair. "You probably should have washed your hair more; the smell tends to stick there most."

Naruto stayed silent, unsure of what to say. Well, he was silent until Sasuke used the hose on him again.

"AAGH! SO FREAKING COLD!"

"Shut up and take it like a man."

The water stopped and Sasuke threw a towel at the blonde. "Dry."

"Mmph, my clothes are wet now--"

"Then strip."

"WHAT!?"

Sasuke threw an irritated look before he tossed a rode at him and pointed to the house. "Strip in there. Stay in the mudroom. I don't want my whole house wet."

Naruto growled and did as he was bidden to do. A few minutes later, he exited, clad in the robe, and was carrying the clothes and towel.

"Well?" Sasuke huffed.

"Whatever the hell that stuff was worked." Naruto sniffed his arm. "I can't smell it anymore."

Sasuke removed his mask and sniffed the air too. "Hm, it actually worked--"

"You mean you were experimenting that shit on me!?"

The Uchiha cringed. "It was an old recipe my mom came up with, so how was I to know?"

Naruto instantly clamped his mouth shut and the silence that followed was thick and tense. The blonde frowned and held out the towel awkwardly. "Erm, well--thanks, uh--"

Sasuke took the tower hesitantly. "No problem."

"Well, uh, maybe I could head home and change--"

"--sure."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you do to make the skunk spray you?"

The blonde blushed. "Well, I--I picked it up."

"You WHAT!?"

"I thought it was a cat!"

"A CAT!?"

"Shut up!"

'Yup,' Sasuke thought, 'it's just not worth the effort to get out of bed.'

But today, it was totally worth it.

-Fin-