You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
He had tried to leave behind who he was. He had tried to pretend that he was worth the air he breathed. He thought that if he surrounded himself with the blissfully ignorant people he called friends and family that he could change who he was.
You're uncontrollable
And we are unlovable
His inner demon couldn't be denied. If they knew, if they had really seen what he was capable of, they would run like everyone else. They would hate him.
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would I never could again.
Maybe if he shrugged it off, if he just left, they would think that he wanted to be alone. He was scared to death of being alone, and the only way to protect himself from the fear of being left alone was to leave himself. Never again would he find anyone else that could overlook his flaws like they had. Like Nymphadora Tonks had.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE HER?
He had to protect her. To do that he had to break her heart. It was all for the best right? She deserved someone better, young and whole. He loved her, but she had to move on.
WHY BE SUCH A MONSTER?
The tears in her eyes when he left were almost too much. He truly felt like a monster then, like he was even worse than the wolf. He had made an angel cry.
You bully from a distance
He knew even now that he was hurting her. That even from this far away he was still causing her pain and ruining her life.
Your brain needs some assistance.
How could he have been so stupid as to think that he could deserve someone that amazing, that accepting, that brilliant and beautiful?
But I'll still take all of the blame
'Cause you and me are both one and the same.
She couldn't just have Remus Lupin. She couldn't have him without the wolf. Maybe if he had never been bitten it would have been different. Maybe. He would have done anything, but he was still a monster.
And it's driving me mad!
And it's driving me mad!
Humans weren't meant to always be alone. They were social creatures, needing friends and family to love and care for each other. But he wasn't really human was he? He really didn't need that, did he?
I'll take back all the things that I said!
If only he could go back. He knew that they would forgive him eventually. That's what love was, unconditional.
If I didn't feel as I was talking to the living dead.
The only thing keeping him from running to their door was the fact that sooner or later, he would hurt someone. He might kill one of them. That was enough to ground him to the floor, to reality.
And I don't want you to think that I care
I never would I never could again.
He would never love anyone so much again.
You would say anything
And you would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance.
In that moment of self-loathing and hatred. Anger and pain. He realized what made him such a monster after all, the worst thing he had ever done. He had left.
And now he'd go running back, because he didn't want to be a monster anymore, he had to escape.
Hope you enjoyed! I own neither Harry Potter nor Muse, although I wish I did!