Prologue:
Tèa's Point Of View
Sorrow.
Unlike Atem, sorrow never leaves me, never abandons me. I know I should be happy for him; after all, isn't everyone else?
Yeah, they are…but they aren't me.
It's been months now; the pain should be fading. But the thing is, the more I try to stop thinking about him, the more he invades my thoughts. I just can't accept the fact that he's gone. Every night, I pray to him, telling him just how much I need him, how much pain he's left me in, and how big a space in my heart he occupied…We weren't even technically together; shouldn't that be helping me accept his loss more easily?
Of course not; we were never together. My biggest regret is that I never told him how much he meant to me.
He could always tell; I knew he could. His eyes would widen whenever he caught me staring, and I'd want badly to pour out my heart to him. Of course, I never got the chance; there would always be something between us.
Even as we said our final goodbyes, there was something-or, rather, someone- between us.
Yugi.
He isn't to blame, that much I am willing to believe. But do I accept it? Of course not. How could I? He is the one who sent my beloved pharaoh to the world beyond, into the afterlife…where he truly belongs. I know I am selfish, but if I ever get the chance, I'd rip Atem away from his sleep and hold onto him, forever.
Every chance I get, I spit venom at Yugi, mutter words in his direction that he doesn't even know I know, blame him for all the mistakes and hardships in my life…and then wish I could take it all back...but just for a second. I can't ignore the tears welling up in his amethyst eyes, the way he trembles whenever I give him the evil eye, the way his lower lip quivers as he's trying to tell me how sorry he is…
And none of that matters to me. He will never have my forgiveness.
I know that Atem had to go; it was simply his time. He had lived, done the things he had and wanted to do, formed bonds, and smiled at the world around him.
And then Yugi had sent him away.
Can I really be so hateful? It was not Yugi's fault that Atem had passed on.
…Oh, of course it was. I was all his fault. He could have just as easily lost to Atem and let him go on living, smiling, laughing, loving the people around him.
But of course Yugi could not give him that. His yearning to prove himself was just more important.
Oh, Atem…do you think of me, in the heaven you deserve? Do you ever wish that I could be there, floating on air with you? Do you ever think to yourself, If only Tèa was here; then I could truly rest my heart?
Because I do, Atem. Always.