Alec-
My hands shook, what if he actually picked up?
*ring*
No I reminded myself, it's quarter after one he wouldn't be up, that's why I'm calling now not in a few hours.
*ring*
This is so stupid
*ring*
Magnus please
*click*
"You've reached The Majestic Magnus Bane, if you're a dying Shadow hunter leave me alone unless your name starts with A and ends with Lec Lightwood." He could hear himself laughing in the background, when Magnus recorded this message they'd been laying together on the couch after another close call and Magnus was swearing about shadow hunters getting them selves killed and how he really didn't want to be the on call warlock but Alec was so worth it... How wrong he'd been.
"Otherwise leave your name and number and I probably won't get back to you"
*Beep*
"Mag-" my voice broke off in a heaving sob "Magnus I know I shouldn't be calling, I really do" I close my eyes remembering all the times I'd fallen for Magnus "it's just- Jace took me drinking and left for some booty call with Clary and I'm all alone and I just-" he let out a long breath trying to compose himself "I've had too much to drink and I'm somewhere in Brooklyn, you dont have to come get me I'm just... If, when izzy calls can you tell her I'm somewhere near a bar in Brooklyn?" he shouldn't be calling Magnus that was what crossed his mind as the pain hit and he lapsed into full body wracking sobs "Ma-magnus I-I-I'm so sor-sorry" he couldn't breath past the pain in his chest anymore.
"I love you" then the machine cut him off and he thumped his head back against the brick behind him.
Vaguely he knew his head was bleeding but it was the same way when you're floating in a lake you know your toes are there but only in theory.
Jace had left him in some bar not far from Brooklyn- not far from Magnus, and he was fighting the urge not to go to him cry where he knew he'd have to hear him out. The call was pathetic enough he decided, one pathetic act a week. Closing his eyes, neck stretched back he let some form of sleep take him though he knew it wasn't really the kind he needed, he hadn't slept in weeks.
Magnus-
I woke up to a voice I know very well, I wasn't sleeping well already and the fact that my answering machine let me hear the messages as they were recored was harder on my sleeping patten than the demands of Chairman Meow.
"Mag-" Alec's voice broke off in a heaving sob and I flinched like if been slapped.
"Magnus I know I shouldn't be calling, I really do" there was a breath and I knew Alec's eyes were closed "it's just- Jace took me drinking and left for some booty call with Clary and I'm all alone and I just-" I felt my emotions rising, Jace was always leaving Alec places when he needed him.
Alec let out a long breath and Magnus shifted closer to the phone pulling the sweater that wasn't even his tight to him.
"I've had too much to drink and I'm somewhere in Brooklyn, you don't have to come get me I'm just... If, when izzy calls can you tell her I'm somewhere near a bar in Brooklyn?" Magnus was considering picking up the phone now but Alec sped up talking trough heart wrenching sobs "Ma-magnus I-I-I'm so sor-sorry" Magnus couldn't breath past the pain in his chest anymore.
"I love you" then the machine cut
Magnus was out the door before he could think about what he was doing, using the sweater he began tracking Alec who all in all wasn't too far away less than a mile. Running the best he could the spell led him to an ally within 8 minutes.
Taking out the witch light stone he'd been trying to forget was there for weeks he rose it high like a shadow hunter might letting red leak from his fingers into the ally and there, held in the shadows was Alec head thrown back against the wall legs tucked up to his chest, fast asleep.
Magnus rushed forward Brooklyn was not the kind of place you just took a nap, not unless you wanted to get killed.
"Alec" he whispered touching his hair surprised when his hand came back slick with red "oh my, Lilith what have you done Alec?" Putting an arm under Alec's legs and arms he lifted him alway from the wall.
Alec was rail thin, high cheek bones more prominent in the moon light, ribs pressing eagerly into Magnus' hands. Magnus couldn't help but feel not only responsible but guilty, like he'd been the one not feeding Alec, or that he made this happen.
But he had in a way.
Gliding easily through the ally's and across sidewalks he lifted Alec up his apartment stairs unlocking the door with a snap of his fingers. The Chairman greeted them weaving Magnus' legs purring.
Magnus set Alec down on his bed a towel still with its tag on it snapped into his apartment under Alec's sticky head.
Alec-
I knew I was being carried, I couldn't care less by who anymore. Maybe Jace had come back for me or sent Izzy to get me but this didn't really smell or move like either of them.
The smell was comforting, like home and he snuggled deep into it finding something he hadn't in weeks, a deep sleep.
When he woke up he was aware of two things, one his head hurt like a bitch, and two he was snuggled into a pair of familiar arms with his head resting on a chest. He went stiff, he couldn't remember much of last night, anything after Jace left him was lost in a river of vodka shots and whisky. But what he did know was for some reason Magnus was the one who came and got him not izzy meaning- he'd called him.
Shit.
"Alec" Magnus' voice was soft but with a demanding undertone "open your eyes I know your awake" Alec did the opposite not looking at the Warlock turning his whole body in a quick motion and standing back to Magnus arms crossed.
"Alec talk to me" he heard Magnus get out of bed and he knew if he let him touch him or look his way his resolve would crumble, those eyes, full lips, tanned skin, a hand touched his shoulder and he crumbled just like he knew he would. A sob close to the surface, tears unshed burning his eyes.
Magnus didn't let up "Alec look at me, come on" he was crouched in front of Alec now, who's eyes were downcast and his whole body leaned forward trying to take deep breaths calm himself before the tears spilled over he could see Magnus' soft blue pyjama pants and his tan feet poking out from them. His hands rested on the soft flannel of his own pants and he couldn't help but wonder where Magnus had stolen these from.
A hand reached out snapping and the pain in his head retreated. Alec flinched Magnus' hand ran through his now clean hair, stopping at the base of his neck.
"Alec breath" letting out a hard breath he didn't know he'd been holding Magnus relaxed a little seeing Alec respond even in the slightest to him "can we talk now?" Alec slightly nodded and when Magnus lifted his chin he didn't fight, their eyes locked and Magnus almost started to cry just by the pained look on Alec's face tear tracks all down his cheeks.
Magnus used the pad of his thumbs to wipe the last tears away, and Alec flicked his eyes away from Magnus' clearly more upset by this action then he was letting on.
Magnus-
I took Alec's hands lightly pulling him to his feet.
"Are you hungry?" Alec shook his head and I scowled "Alec when was the last time you ate?" I saw his eyes flick up trying to give me a date.
"Um... tuesday I think..."
"TUESDAY" I blanched "Alec it's Saturday!" Taking his hand I dragged him to the table not bothering with making the food and started to snap food onto the table "what were you thinking Alec?" His eyes flicked up to my own and I was held in place by the intense blue they always were- how had I forgotten just how blue they were?
He mumbled something looking away and I leaned in "what was that?"
Out eyes met again and he spoke "I guess I wasn't" I backed up fast
"You 'guess you weren't?'!" I felt the sparks coming from my fingers and visually saw Alec shrink back "Alec you, you," I struggled to find the right words "you stupid human!" I settled for.
Alec was red lit with anger "What that's all you've got?! Human like that's some insult, you're half human too or did you just forget that part!?" My anger was receding and I backed up but Alec sprung from his chair, walking closer "I wish you'd just left me wherever you found me last night!" Alec had pinned me to the counter now, rage rolling off of him like the tides "Maybe I was in pain there but damn it this hurts more" his voice broke on the last word and against my better judgment I leaned forward and kissed him.
He froze lips unyielding against my own, then he was kissing me, his hands were on me my chest roaming and I reciprocated the motions right away. I gasped when suddenly I was lifted onto the marble countertop, legs on either side of Alec grinding against each other. My shirt was off then so was his and I pushed our foreheads together trying to catch my breath.
Looking Alec up and down my breath caught, he'd always been skinny but in a fit way not like now, his ribs were so taunt to his skin I thought they'd bust through, his hollow navel left me with a hollow feeling, and his normally muscled shoulders were thin and barely more than a child's.
"God Alec what have you done to to yourself" I whispered. What he didn't next scared me, pushing away pacing the kitchen he started to chuckle a little.
"Me? What did I do? God you're so blind Magnus!" He looked panicked now, nothing like the Alec Lightwood he'd met months ago, this Alec was on edge and skeleton thin.
I moved forward but he backed up "Alec please, I, I know the break up was hard..." He looked shattered
"Hard Magnus? That was hard to you?" He hit the wall trying to back up "Hard, is when you have a bad day at work, hard is how you feel if you fail a test, hard isn't not being able to breath past your tears, hard isn't panic attacks and going days without eating that's impossible" he let out a shuddering breath "Magnus that 'hard' breakup isn't over for me, I'm barely alive anymore" he was shivering and I couldn't help but snap a grey sweater he'd left here onto him.
"Fuck. God, why do you have to do that?" I blinked
"Do what Alec?"
"Act like you care" I stepped forward
"No, Magnus don't" he put up a hand as if to ward me off "please, seeing you is like taking two steps backwards and one forwards..." He was avoiding my eyes now "touching you is like signing my death notice, can't you see I'm barely surviving?" I could and it was all I could do not to hug him right now.
I let out a breath, "will you please eat something?" The food was tempting to me and I'd been eating regular meals I didn't see how Alec couldn't be focusing on it right now.
His eyes closed and he let out a very Alec sigh.
"If I eat something will you let me leave?" I furrowed me brow, he wanted to leave?
"You, you're going to leave?" I stepped away from him it felt like he'd shoved me with his words
"Magnus, I can't stay, it's too hard" I nodded numbly
"I get it, yes just eat, please" the please was almost painful and I could see he knew it.