I am not the author or copyright holder for Ranma 1/2 or New Cutey Honey. This is a work of fiction purely for enjoyment and no financial gain is earned or desired.
Fanfiction's author's note: This is a mash-up of Ranma 1/2 and New Cutey Honey solely inspired by the resemblance of certain characters in both series. I am not trying to say one series infringed on the other but rather "what if" the two series were to have merged in some alternate anime universe. That said, I have completed this story and will post the rest if there is demand.
Tanoshinde kudasai! (Please enjoy)
Chapter 1: Here's... Happosai?
Just another average day at the Tendo homestead.
The sun shines, the laundry flaps in the breeze, Soun and Genma ponder the shoji board and, off in the distance, a cloud swells. The sound, at first the low rumble of a summertime thunderstorm, rises in pitch and intensity as it draws closer. The staccato beat, nuanced with high-pitched tones, grows ever closer but no one within the house is alarmed. The miso continues to bubble on the stove and Nabiki sucks on her popsicle with practiced nonchalance. Finally, the storm arrives; a tumultuous brew of enraged high school girls, crazed martial artists and a lingerie obsessed ojisan, cackling madly as he dodges brooms, bandanas, mallets and punches as he weaves through the house with a huge bag of women's underwear perched upon his back.
As the crowd gallops off, "Oh my" slips from the lips of Kasumi as she surveys the results of melee. She brushes her hands against her ever present apron and heads off to fetch the dustpan and broom - there's sweeping to be done. Meanwhile, panting from the unexpected exercise, Akane and Ranma, drop heavily on the edge of porch, grateful for any bit of breeze to cool them.
"That little pervert is gonna pay this time. When I catch him, I am going to really show him what Anything Goes means - the gloves are off and that's that!"
"Oh really Ranma? And just how is this going to be any different from all the times before? I am starting to think that you let him off because all you perverts have to stick together."
"What?! I come to help you and all those other girls and you call me pervert?"
"Well, isn't that definition of a boy who sneaks peeks into a girl's locker room while they are changing?"
"I told you - Ryoga told me that he saw the old leech lurking around the gym and I went to stop him. Why would I be peeking in the locker room? Do you really think I want to sneak peeks at a flat as board, brick-shaped girl?"
"Raannnmma!! How dare you! First, you insult me and then you drag Ryoga into it. At least Ryoga has honor, he doesn't sneak around girls, trying to spy on them when they are changing or bathing, unlike a certain girly-boy pervert." The flames of rage danced around Akane as she rose to loom over the seated Ranma.
"Oh yeah. Honorable old p-chan." Ranma muttered under his breath.
"What did you say?!"
"Nothing."
"Raannmma..."
The clouds swirled overhead. Puffy white cotton balls circling, swooping and soaring like birds chasing a bee. The contrast between the white and blue seemed exceptional crisp, Ranma noted. The breeze was nice too though way too short as the moment came to an abrupt end. Ranma's short trip, courtesy of Air Akane's Express Mallet service, came to a screeching halt with his impact with the rocks in the koi pond.
Nabiki glanced up from her magazine as the sound of splash. Her little sister stomped off into the house, each footstep causing the items on the shelves to rattle. In the pond, a red-headed girl rose woozily and rubbed her noggin. "Stupid gorilla girl," she heard the drenched damsel grumble as she stalked off towards the furo.
Chopsticks clicked and the sound of a fan whirring filled the air. Though the room was full of interesting expressive individuals, no one said a word. Ranma and Akane focused on the plates of rice, vegetables and fish before them, ignoring the person beside them with an intensity that cowed the others around the table into silence. Genma opened his mouth, ready to break the silence with a sage morsel of wisdom, but quickly chose to fill his gaping maw with food after noticing the glares.
A bowl rapped against the table as it's owner set it down with obvious satisfaction. He let out a sigh of content and leaned back to ignite a pipe. Drawing in a lung-full of the sweet narcotic, he turned his glaze to the smoldering teens and exhaled a cloud of blue-gray smoke.
"Now what's the matter? Why are you two sitting there pouting like a bunch of three-year-olds?"
"Pouting?!"
"Who are you calling a three-year-old, you old perv!"
Akane and Ranma burst into a verbal assault as the old man continued to suck on the pipe, a smile of utter bliss spreading across his face. He dodged to the left - hmm, Soun won't be happy with that mallet hole in the floor. He flicked his wrist, tapping his pipe against his promising disciple's clenched fist, sending the boy soaring upwards through the ceiling above. As Ranma splashed down, Happosai's eyes glinted with an ulterior motive, evaluating the young red-head's form with a seasoned air.
"Master! Forgive them!"
Happosai broke out of his reverie to find two fools groveling at his feet. As he returned the pipe to his lips, left hand resting against his hip and right foot atop the head of the prostrate Soun, Happosai watched Ranma trudge into the house, his gaze following every movement with steely intensity.
Ranma slid the door to the wash room open. He, though presently she, stepped in and began removing the soaked shirt and pants. Muttering curses beneath his(her) breath, he (she) moved further in and sat down on a stool next to the tiled furo. After a quick rinse with icy cold water, he slid into the furo, enjoying both the warmth and return of his natural form. He rested his head against the wall and allowed his eyes to close.
He awoke with a jerk, smacking the tiled wall in the process. Ranma rubbed his head as he climbed out of the tub.
"That's it! This will finish off that old pervert for good!"
He quickly slipped on dry clothes and scurried down the hall to the room with the duck on the door.
"Akane? You in there?"
"Go away, Ranma!"
"Geez. Akane, c'mon. Look, I got an idea of how we can get rid of Happosai once and for all."
"Akane? Didya hear me?"
"C'mon. Akane... I'm... I mean... It's not like I meant anything really... Oh man. Okay, Akane, I'msorryforallthestuffandthingsyouknow."
"Can I come in now?"
Ranma tried the door and found that it slid open. He entered to face Akane's back.
"So I was in the furo and I guess I fell asleep or something and..."
SMACK! Ranma touched his throbbing right cheek and glared at Akane.
"Whatcha do that for?"
"You jerk! You call that an apology?"
"Hey, I said I was sorry. Okay? Can we just let it go?"
"Ranma, you can be the most insensitive jerk ever... Fine, what is the oh-so-big idea?"
"Okay. Now you know how Happosai loves underwear..."
Ranma explained his idea to Akane, arms swinging and stabbing as he accentuated the finer points of the plan. Akane listened, her face sometimes scrunched with skepticism, other times lit with enthusiasm. Ranma summed up with a dramatic punch of his fist into his palm.
"... and then, no more Happosai!!"
"It just might work. We might need some help for one or two things but I think you have something, Ranma."
"Great! Let's get started."
Night fell on Tokyo. Mothers put their children to bed and salarymen drank away the pain of their long days in bars throughout the metropolis. And in one section of the city, two teenagers stealthily snuck towards a darkened room.
"What are we looking for again, Ranma?"
"The secret stash. The holy of holies. The panties and stuff that are Happosai's energy source."
"And you think they are in his room?"
"They've gotta be. You know how weak he got when he wasn't able to grope women? Well, why isn't he like that all the time? I mean, he's got plenty of energy when you, Nabiki or Kasumi ain't here, so he's gotta have some sort of collection of really powerful stuff that gives him energy when he can't get it from the gals around him. At least that's what I think."
"Could be. So we're looking for some sort of super-panty or something like that?"
"Yeah. And I'm guessing it is hid in his room."
"What if he comes back while we are searching?"
"That ain't gonna happen. There's a lingerie and swimsuit show going on at the Tokyo Big Sight. He wouldn't miss that for anything."
Ranma and Akane slipped into the room. Panties, bras and other feminine undergarments covered virtually every surface. Lining the walls, trunks and boxes promised more ill-gotten lingerie to inspect.
"Ewww. Ranma, I don't think I can do... Hey, these are mine!"
"Okay. Let's go to opposite ends of the room and start searching. If you find something that looks like it might be the thing let's put it here, in the center, and we'll go through those afterwards."
The teens began sifting through the mountains of silk, nylon, cotton and more. Every so often, a flashy or intricately embroidered piece would surface and be tossed to the pile at the center of the room. The night wore on and the clock crept closer to midnight.
"Ranma. This could take weeks!"
"Keep going, Akane. That show is one-night only. This is our only chance."
Outside, the compact form of a man, the moonlight glistening off his bald head, studied the teens discretely through the window. The wind ruffled his trademark martial artist outfit. Inside, Ranma dug deep into a particularly old looking chest and discovered a silvery case, long, thin and flat. He stared at it with sense of deja vu. The case called to his memory in a way that Ranma just could not place. He sat back, held it in front of him and began to slowly open it.
"Now they've done it! I can't stand by any more!", thought the old but tested master as anger rose within him. He leapt from his hiding place and rushed towards the window.
There you have - first chapter from a first-time author. Comments are grateful accepted. Let me know if you want the rest of the tale.