Three Hundred and Sixty Five ways to kill a Starfleet Captain…

Authors notes (Of Doom!): Not a list, at least not in the conventional sense. There will, eventually, be 365 separate chapters, each depicting a different way to kill a different captain. It ranges from TOS to TNG to ENT, and at the beginning of each the show and general timeframe will be listed. (And yes, Sisko is being counted as a Captain)

Rated: T (Because I said so!)

Genre: Action (Yeah right)/Comedy

Brief description: How many ways are there to kill a Captain?

Disclaimer: NOTHING! (Except Tomalley, and the 365 ideas)

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Authors note: The original Series, after the first three years, before the movies

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Kirk walked with a determined air towards the shuttle bay. He wasn't going to actually use a shuttle. But he did need a pressure suit.

He keyed the door lock and struck a dramatic pose. Left hand on his hip, leaning lightly on the wall.

The door slid open and he strutted through. He walked to the closet and pulled out a one-size-fits-most suit. After donning the suit he keyed the comm.

"Kirk to bridge," He said.

"Bridge, Sulu here." Came the reply.

"I'm… ready to go, depressurize main shuttle bay."

"We could still beam you to them captain, there's enough power to do that at least."

Kirk let out a dry laugh, "No thank you, lieutenant. The targeting scanners are still down. We…. Also might need them. Scotty and Spock could be in grave danger. I had better go. Before, their, air runs out."

"Aye sir," Sulu replied, "We're depressurizing the main shuttle bay now."

The doors of the shuttle bay slowly slid open. With a running leap Kirk jumped from the shuttle bay into the space around him. He deftly floated towards where Scotty and Spock were supposed to be. They'd been working on the damage to the hull for nearly seven hours. Somehow one of them had made a miscalculation and they had both become encased in the decking material.

Usually Kirk would send a specialist to free his friends, but then he would never get to do any thing fun. He glided smoothly to the deck and pulled a laser cutter from nowhere. He carefully began to slice away at the deck.

He heard a shout. And peered through the small hole he had made. He could barely see the shadowy figure of Scotty madly waving his arms above his head. He saw him key his comm.

"Captain!"

"Yes, Scotty, is there a problem?"

"Aye! Toss down a laser cutter, Mr. Spock is trapped."

Kirk pulled out another laser cutter, from his boot this time, and tossed it through the hole to Scotty. He then turned and quickly began to slice away at the deck plating.

An hour later the work was complete. He set the still running laser on the deck and reached down to help his friends up. After making sure they were both alright he absentmindedly reached behind himself to grab the laser cutter.

He felt the shock run through him and watched in horror as the laser shot out the other side of his body. He heard the sound of the suit quickly depressurizing.

"Warning, pressure loss imminent." Came in incessant voice of the computer, "Warning…"

Kirks brain swelled up and after two seconds of horrible excruciating pain. He was gone.

And poor Ensign Tomalley had to clean up the damn mess!