Where the blackbird sings
-part3-
Lost and Never Found
Author's note: Think of this as a detachment...Pretend it has nothing to do with anything.
It's actually going to be one big FLASHBACK. ::shudder:: I hate flashbacks, but I have to do it
For the sake of my fanfic.
Also: FLAShBACK, peoples. That means Mimi and Yamato will have no regconition this has happened except in the past. This would be set in season..1, on the verge of season 02, I guess. And the regular disclaimer applies. (why don't they just put one big giant disclaimer on ff.net to save us the trouble? --)
~*Begin. The. Flashback.*~
I knew something was wrong. Something was out of balance in my perfect life. I could tell before she reached me. There was an unusual amount of fog, reminding me of a book I had once read, and once lived. I refused to turn, refused to look her in the face, because then I would have to face the truth. God, she was the truth. She was Sincerity. She was..everything I ever wanted in my life. And this thing...this event that is throwing me off center...it had to do something with her.
"Yamato-san..." She whispered in a trembling voice, tugging gently at my green sweater. Nothing. I refused to move. For once, my heart and mind were working together to stop working anyway.
"Yamato-san," She pleaded softly, urgently, as my mind began storing her words in my head, so I could always rewind and hear them again. "Please listen to me..."
I moved. I turned. I saw her. I saw cheeks, where splashes of tears had run down them, her puffy red-eyes where she had let them go. Her hands...shivering...her honey brown hair...unbrushed and tangled together. I drew back from her a step and regarded her with cold harshness. "What happened?" My voice. It was inhuman. It was not my own, as if a robot had taken out my voice box and replaced it with some mechanical device.
She glanced at me silently for a while, turning to face the lake instead. I could see she was still shaking, not because of the cold, but because of something else. Unknown, but soon to be known. I reached inside my mind for answers, clues, solutions. She wouldn't want to break up with me, would she? She wasn't cheating on me, was she? Would she...?
"I...need to tell you something." She said without looking up, her hazel eyes focused onto the water. A few ducks were swimming round carefreely, unaware of the tense moment right before them.
"Yeah? What is it?" Flat, monotonous. That was me. My fear and apprehension kept building inside my chest, and I was afraid I was going to burst. Not now, but soon.
"I..." She paused briefly for a second, shifting her gaze to meet mine. "I'm moving. Far away. I don't know if I'm ever moving back."
"Oh..." I cried, a dead whisper in the rush of mist. Strange. The mist had almost seemed to possess her, wrap her up and take her away from me. "Where?" My throat was harsh and dry, feeling like raw sanding paper.
"I have no choice..." She said sorrowfully, tears spilling once again. "My parents are forcing me. To America." Any hope that was still in me died when to said that. To America. That was too far away, even for a long distance relationship. I knew that it was going to get me nowhere, when I had asked her out the first time. Mimi Tachikawa wouldn't last forever, that love can just sputter up and die. That was what my parents had warned me about; didn't just so much as scream it at you, Ishida, when they divorced? I scolded, screamed, kicked myself for ever admitting my feelings for her.
"Oh." I repeated myself dully, partly for my benefit, to stop the rush of tears that threatened to drown my voice out.
"I'm sorry." She wiped a few of the crystal tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm so sorry..."
"Forget it." I turned away from her and started speedwalking in the opposite direction. I didn't need this. I didn't need her. Heartache and pain. God, who am I kidding? I wanted her with me. I don't want her to leave. Stop walking, Ishida... My heart cried out feebly against the rush of adrenaline I had received. I wanted to pound something. Something that would make my hand bleed, so I could wake up from this damn nightmare.
I stopped walking, looking back to catch a glimpse of her running away from the park, muffled sobs coming out faintly to where I was standing. I felt...like dirt. I had turned on her when she most needed me. I was selfish, so selfish I broke up with her so I wouldn't have to face leaving her. My heart clamped up, had turned back to what I had been when we were stuck in Digiworld. God Ishida, what have you done...?
Leaning against the metal gates to the entrance of the park, I broke down.