Metro Man was out of town. This meant Megamind was bored; there was no point in any of his evilly villainous plots when Metro Man wasn't there to stop him, he sighed and continued his planning for his new death ray. Maybe the full force of the sun could stop Metro Man? He sighed again as he erased the idea, then thought better of it and began to redraw the plans. After he was done a rough draft he began flipping through the channels of his evil lairs big screen TV.
"Metro Man!" A loud and obnoxious man with a patch over his eye laughed on the TV. Megamind stopped flipping channels to watch one of the many pretend villains of the city challenge Metro Man.
"Idiot, doesn't he know Metro Man's out in Hawaii stopping a volcano eruption? Or that's what he says he's doing anyway." Megamind said. "Amateur, what a hack, that's what this guy is, a hack." Even so Megamind settled down to get comfortable in his evil swivel chair. The man laughed again attempting to sound evil.
"It is I, Dr Evilness, I will be waiting for you at the abandoned church on the corner of May Avenue and 4th street! And to make sure that you'll show up, well take a look!" He said moving to the side and laughed his forced evil laugh again. As he moved to the side he revealed a bound and gagged Roxanne Ritchi. Megamind was up and out of his chair in a second getting as close to the screen as his control panel would allow.
"That horrible, washed up hack! Doesn't he know that she's my hostage, mine not his!" Megamind yelled at the TV, as he began sputtering incoherently.
"Sir I heard you yelling, what's wrong?" Minion said walking into the room with his 'kiss the cook' apron on.
"Minion, get the invisible car!" Megamind shouted, twirling around to face his long time friend and servant.
"Sir? Why exactly are we going out, if you don't mind me asking?" Minion asked.
"There's no time for that! Grab your handheld death ray, the one that shoots lightning." Megamind said walking over to his wall of weapons, he decided to just go with his trusted De-gun, and ran to the invisible car. When Minion finally got to the car with the ray gun, Megamind was practically vibrating with impatience. "Finally, could you have taken long enough, we're on a deadline!" Megamind said as he punched the gas. The drive was fast and hazardous but Megamind paid little attention to his speed as he weaved in and out of traffic, until he slammed on the breaks in front of the church. "Quickly Minion, quickly there's no time to lose!" Megamind said jumping out of the car.
"Yes sir, but why are we here?" Minion said following behind his master. Megamind heaved an exaggerated sigh, as he turned to Minion.
"We're here to save Miss Ritchi from the clutches of an incompetent hack, which has the audacity to call himself a super villain." Megamind stage whispered as he peeked around the door of the church.
"Miss Ritchi, where here to save Miss Ritchi, the Miss Ritchi, that we are always kidnapping? Did you hit your head recently sir?" Minion asked looking worriedly at his friend. Megamind shot Minion an angry glare over his shoulder.
"I don't have time for this Minion, are you going to help me or not?" Megamind said pulling out his De-gun, getting ready for a frontal assault.
"Yes, I will help you, but I do have one suggestion, might it be better to sneak in from the side?" Minion said.
"That's genius Minion, genius, that way we have the element of surprise and if we're lucky I can keep my villainous image intact!" Megamind said running around to the side of the building. In fact this got Megamind's brain going, if only he had something that could disguise him to look like someone else, he'd have to work on that when this whole debacle was over.
"Thank you sir." Minion replied happily as he followed Megamind around the building to the side entrance.
"Okay here's the plan, once where inside I'll sneak up behind that poser of a villain, while you knock out Miss Ritchi, untie her, and come and help me with the fraudster." Megamind said. Minion nodded and got the knock out spray ready.
Inside the evil man with a patch over one eye and a black trench cloak on paced back in forth in front of Roxanne. He was getting irritated, he had never been a very patient man, and now Metro Man was trying his patience. He stopped to think about all the things that could be keeping him. Frustrated, he started walking back in forth even faster then before muttering furiously to himself.
"What could be keeping him? Doesn't he care about what happens to his girlfriend?" The man shouted to no one in particular. "Well since he doesn't, I'll have to flush him out!" He cackled evilly running off to go grab his camera and one of his torture devices. Roxanne watched him run off as her stomach sank, she knew Metro Man wasn't in the city at the time, there would be no one to save her, and unlike Megamind this villain had no problem with hurting her. She sighed and wondered what would become of her, then, in the distance she heard a loud thump and then a low groan. 'What was that?' She thought to herself. Before she could question what was going on further she smelt the now familiar knock out gas of Megamind.
"Minion, have you taken care of Miss Ritchi?" Megamind yelled to his fishy friend, as he stood over the unconscious body of the phoney villain.
"Yes sir, I have, do you need any help with her kidnapper?" Minion said shouting back to his master.
"Good, good, yes I could use your help carrying him, and bring the ropes he used on Miss Ritchi; I suppose we need to hand him over to the authorities, so he never tries a stunt like this again!" Megamind said. Minion came walking in with an unconscious, and unbound Miss Ritchi flung over his shoulder. He handed the ropes to Megamind so he could bind the sham villain.
"Sir, I don't believe my body will not be able to handle carrying both of them, what should we do?" Minion asked looking down at the thorn in his master's side. Megamind looked down at the annoying man who even while unconscious was making life difficult. He looked up at Minion and then down again.
"I could…hmm; I could try carrying Miss Ritchi. She doesn't look very heavy." Megamind said thoughtfully.
"That's a wonderful idea sir!" Minion said beaming at his friend. "Here, be careful." Minion said as he handed Miss Ritchi over to his boss. Despite Megamind's size he was actually very strong, so carrying Miss Ritchi wasn't very hard for him, but he couldn't carry her over his shoulder like Minion, he had to carry her bridle style, so he wouldn't drop her.
Roxanne was slowly coming to, she could tell that she was being carried, but by whom she had no clue, at first she thought that it was Metro Man but then she realized that whoever it was was far to thin to be the muscle bound man of iron. Risking a glance she snuck a peek through one eye, and then opened both wide in shock.
"Megamind! What are you doing? Let me go!" She said insistently as she pushed him away.
"Minion, hurry the spray!" Megamind said just as shocked as Roxanne, almost dropping her. Roxanne heard the rattling of the knock out spray, and then everything went black, again.
"That was odd." Minion said looking down at the spray bottle in his robotic hand.
"Yes, very strange, it must be a weak batch, or maybe you didn't use enough the first time!" Megamind said accusingly as he threw Minion a perturbed glance. "Let's just drop this idiotic poser off at the prison." He said as they loaded both Miss Ritchi and Dr Evilness in the back seat of the invisible car. It was a quick drive from the abandoned church to the prison, after they haphazardly threw him out in front of the guards; they made a speedy get away so as not to be imprisoned themselves.
"Um, sir, what are we going to do with Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked, looking over at Megamind as he drove through the city. Megamind frowned as he thought about what should be done.
"We should really drop her off at her apartment, but I don't really know how we would get her up there." Megamind said in deep thought. "I know we'll go back to the evil lair until I can think of someway to get her up to her apartment." Megamind said.
When Roxanne came to again she thought that she was lying on her couch, until she moved and felt how lumpy the cushions were. Her eyes popped open to discover that she was in a large room; it looked like it was some kind of warehouse.
"Oh Miss Ritchi, I didn't know you were awake can I get you anything? Something to eat, or maybe to drink?" Minion said walking by with a box of doughnuts and two coffees.
"No that's okay, thank you." She said politely, Roxanne liked Minion he was always very kind to her when she was kidnapped. Biting her bottom lip she got up the nerve to ask, "Minion, why am I here? The last thing I remember was being kidnapped by Dr Evilness, for one of his super villain plots." Just before Minion was about to answer Megamind walked in.
"Minion, I've finally figured out how to enact my latest scheme! I'll use a jet pack to carry-" And just as Megamind was about to finish what he was saying Metro Man burst through the roof.
"If I have anything to do with it, it will be your last scheme! And the only thing you'll be carrying anytime soon is the heavy weight of guilt!" Metro Man said flashing a heroic smile. After a battle that was over very quickly, Megamind was promptly carted off to jail, Minion quietly snuck away to a dark corner of the lair to escape, and Roxanne was safely dropped off at her apartment. She found out that her whole adventure had thankfully only taken a little over a day, and it was now after midnight. As she got ready for bed many thoughts still nagged at the back of her mind. The most prominent of which was, how had she been kidnapped by one super villain and then been rescued by Metro Man from another villain altogether? Why had she been in Megamind's evil lair?