This is my first fic so I know I have room for improvement. I do not own Ed Edd n Eddy at all. Support the official release by Danny Antonucci, Please enjoy
The story takes place one year after The Big Picture Show, you'll see the change in everyone as you read the chapters :)
Chapter one: Another day, another…..
It's a beautiful summer day in the Cul-de-sac and everything seems to be well. Aside from the fact that all the children in the cul-de-sac are taking refuge in their homes. All of course except the three notorious Eds, and there would be a specific reason or reasons why that is.
"KANKERS!" shouts Eddy, running from behind his house being pursued by none other than Lee Kanker. Fearing for his life, he makes his way to the front of his house passing by his mailbox. Too busy running Eddy passes Ed who just happened to somehow stuff himself inside of Eddy's mailbox.
"Girls, germs, cooties, bad for Ed" said the dimwitted Ed trembling with fear. His hiding place would have been perfect, if not for the fact that his tormentor happened to see him flee into said mailbox. Plus Ed's trembling made Eddy's mailbox far more than suspicious looking. May made her way behind the mailbox attempting to outsmart the terrified Ed. Over the years chasing them, the Kankers caught on to each of their "Boyfriend's" fleeing strategies. This made things interesting as every time the Eds changed their evasive maneuvers, the Kankers changed pursuing tactics. Trying to stifle her laugh, May deepened her voice to fool her man. "Gravy delivery" she said smiling with her two front teeth ever showing. Anyone in Ed's situation would have known that it was a trick, sadly for Ed he loved gravy too much to care.
His Weakness proved to be his downfall as he poked his head out of the mailbox shouting "gravy!" with excitement. Ed looked left and right seeing no gravy in sight, out of no where he felt a pair of hands grab his face. His smile disappeared fast than Roadrunner would leave Will E. Coyote in his dust. "Hiya big Ed" May said peering over top of the more than frightened Ed, before he could shout May covered his mouth with her hand before saying " I love the makeout spot you picked for us". She then proceeded to jump in the mailbox with Ed closing it behind her while placing a do not disturb sign around it. Ed was now doomed but he wouldn't be alone for Eddy was now pinned down in front of Double D's house by Lee. Struggling to break free Eddy stared right into the eyes of his captor (or he would be if it weren't for her red curly hair covering them). Enjoying the fact that she caught her man, Lee slowly leaned down closer to Eddy's face. "You sure do know how to make a woman work for what she wants" Lee seductively says while catching her breath. "Lee let go!" an angry Eddy demands still struggling. " Now why would I do that little man? Especially when I love having my hands on you. Unless you would rather…" She said removing one hand from Eddy's wrist. Eddy took this opportunity to shifting himself from under her but it was no use. Not enjoying the fact that he's being overpowered by the Kanker he pleads "Just let me-". Eddy stopped before he could finish when he saw Lee applying her bold red lipstick. Lee grew a smile of satisfaction as she witnessed the expression change on Eddy's face. "Pucker up handsome" Lee said before assaulting Eddy's face with her lips.
Now Ed and Eddy were both victims of their enemy's forced affection. Meanwhile Double D was nowhere in sight…which is exactly what he wanted. "My goodness! They so much more aggressive than usual" Double D shouted silently in a bush not too far from his house. As he watched his best friends being assaulted he knew it was only a matter of time before he was next. Confident in his hiding place, Double D wasn't too afraid as he usually would be. "As long as I maintain being hidden I might avoid the same fate as my fellow friends" he said still watching on. "Yeah they sure are being roughed up" a familiar female voice said. "Indeed, I do detest physical violence, not to mention all the-" Double D stopped and his eyes went wide. Slowly he turned his head to the right to see his own blue haired tormentor beside him. "M-ma-merr- Marie…" he said trying to stay calm but failing.
"Awww Oven-mitt you said my name " Marie said giggling while playfully placing her hands over her heart. At that moment Double D wasn't sure what to do in his situation besides running of course. But he knew how that would go despite building up some stamina over the past year of running from her. "Let's talk about this please?!" He pleaded throwing up his hands defensively as if trying to negotiate with a bully (which isn't too far off from what the Kankers are to the Eds). Marie replies by inching closer "but I like the hands on approach". With her moving closer, Double D could feel his heart rate pick up for two reasons. One, she is a Kanker but more importantly she's his Kanker so to speak. Two, she was entering his personal space which he never was comfortable with. "Don't worry Oven-mitt, I'm not going to be rough with you" Marie said with a slight hint a sensuality in her voice. Double D then stopped being afraid but confused.
"Huh? If you're not going to rough me up then-" Double D was cut short by Marie's finger on his lips. In his mind, his inner voice was screaming at the thought of how many germs were now on his lips thanks to Marie. " No no no I think this time I'm going to be hot-" she said placing her other free hand behind his neck. "passionate-" moving her lips close enough to his ear that they almost touch. Double D was paralyzed by Marie's much lustful like approach. "And sexy for you Eddward" She said slowly licking his ear. At that moment Double D was sweating bullets and his adrenaline kicked in. Their bodies were so close, much more closer than the usual gap that comes from him being mounted by Marie. He had to take action before things got too hot for him to handle. Double D reacted by shouting very loudly " GOOD LORD WOMAN!" bolting out of the bush and towards the Junkyard leaving a trail of what would appear to be smoke...or dust...dirt?
Marie made her way out of the bush with a smirk on her face "my Dreamboat sure knows how to get me going." She then took off after him laughing as she did. Hearing Double D's loud outburst, Ed, Eddy, Lee, and May stopped what they were doing to look at what was going on. Lee removing her lips from Eddy's face making a comment at the spectacle "wow he sure can move". Not being kissed by May, Ed head popped out from the mailbox (through the top might I add) and said "Double D moved faster than the swift alien mice mutants from my comic 'The Blue Cheese Moon'" in his usual dopey manner. May's hands grabbed Ed's face again as she said "no more talk of cheese Big Ed, instead how about sugar." Overhearing May's clever comment, Lee looked back down at Eddy who's face was covered in red lip prints. Laughing at her handy work she said "oops looks like I missed a spot". Eddy knew what was coming, his eyes went wide as his torment was about to continue. In his mind he was mad and happy that Double D hadn't shared to the same fate as Ed and himself. "How did Sockhead get to be so lucky?" he thought before his torture continued.
As Lee and May continued their 'quality time' with their Eds, Double D was making his way down the alley to the Junkyard. Johnny who was watching everything from a tree was talking to Plank. "Wow buddy did you see Double D bookin?" he said watching as Marie wasn't to far off his trail. "what's that? What do you mean he should stand his ground? They are terrifying Plank! No more action cop movies for you mister" jumping down from the tree. Double D was making haste through the alley until he made it to the junkyard. Not sure where to hide, he was in a panic looking all over the place.
"Where do I hide? Does it even matter? Oh dear!" He thought all hope was lost until he ran into the van that Ed, Eddy, and himself would usually hang out in. Swiftly he hid inside the van locking the doors and curling up as to not look noticeable if she were to walk by. "Oh Oven-mitt! Where are you? Come accept my love" Marie shouted across the junkyard. Stopping to think, she knew it would be quite some time to find him. Then an idea popped into her head, it only made since that she was his counterpart seeing as she was cunning as he was. " If you don't come out I guess I'll have to go wait in your room and mess with your ant farm!" smiling as she was waiting for the response she knew she'd get. "Don't you dare go into my room!" said Double D covering his lips though it was too late. Marie heard where he had shouted from and was closing in on the trapped Double D.
"Hook, line, and sinker Dreamboat" she said to herself smiling as she approached to van. Double knew she was close, realizing the inevitable was soon to come he closed his eyes waiting. Suddenly the van shook a little, he opened his eyes and focused his attention to the windshield of the van only to see Marie on the hood. He scooted to the back of the van not looking away from Marie who had a devious smile on her face. "Your efforts will be wasted Marie as I have locked the doors and can only be unlocked from inside therefore securing my safety" a confident Double D said with smiling victoriously. Marie's smile still remained after hearing his last statement not phasing her one bit. "Tsk tsk tsk did you forget a certain interest of mine Oven-mitt? You are exactly where I want you" Marie hopping off the hood.
Thinking about what she said, Double D was a little thrown off by her words. Until he realized what she meant, of course by then it was too late. "How could I forget?! When it comes to automobiles she is most knowledgeable out of us all!" he said shaking at the realization. He heard a noise by the back door of the van, his doom was certain now. The doors opened to reveal Marie who then placed her hands on her hips. Though only one year has passed Double D noticed some change about her figure(him being a guy and all). Marie's chest started to develop to what looked like a small C cup bra, and though her waist wasn't too voluptuous it still had curve to it. "See something you like?" said Marie as she climbed in and shut the doors behind her. Not being able to scoot back anymore, Double D was trapped and this time there was no escape. "I…I may be done for but…I'm not going out without a fight!…..oh who am I kidding?" he said waiting for his true torment to start.
Marie smiled at his attempt to go out in glory as she made her way closer to her crush. "hehe come on you stud lets get physical!" she said before lunging at Double D. Mounting him, she knew there would be no way he would get away and unfortunately so did Double D. In his mind he just wanted it to be over but for some reason this routine of forced affection was…annoying to him. "Pucker those lips up for mama!" she said going down to kiss Double D. As she went for a kiss she felt a shift from Double D and realize he moved his head to dodge her kiss. Though clearly frightened, Double D literally wasn't going to give up without a fight.
Marie raised an eyebrow before attempting another kiss "No…not this time" Double D said dodging yet another kiss. Marie's expression look a little annoyed but she persisted anyway only for Double D to dodge more of her kiss attempts. "You know what bub? Stay still now!" she demanded as she held his head to keep him from moving. Going in for yet another kiss she was confident she would make contact with his face. But right before she could, Double D place his free right hand on her lower back and rolled her over so that now he was on top. An awkward silence was present as they both gazed into each others eyes. Double D couldn't believe he actually somehow maneuvered himself on top of Marie. While Marie on the other hand was surprised to see her Ed, the most physically challenged of his friends take initiative physically and not verbally. Not sure what to say Double looked away from Marie one visible eye as Marie was still in shock a little. Before the moment would pass Marie let her emotions take action for her. Her heart picked up its pace much like Double D's did, fluttering as well as increasing tempo. "Oh my God...he has me, right where I want to be?! Marie shouted in her head. She slowly raised her hands onto his face but more gentle than before. Double D quickly focused back on her only to see a blushing Marie under him. "Double D.." she said in a soft tone staring into his eyes. Before responding Double D realized that she didn't refer to to him by her usual nicknames but his natural one. "Ye..yes Marie?" Double replied still not knowing what's happening at the moment.
She bit her bottom lip before saying "Kiss me", hearing those words made Double D's heart almost burst through his chest. For him as well as Marie, time had slowed down almost to a crawl and their heart beats we audible as a clock during a test in school. In his mind he was saying "oh dear oh dear oh dear! I must escape! But in Marie's mind she was saying "Oven-mitt hurry up and kiss me!". Double D was so caught up in the moment he forget that the doors were behind him and he technically was able to make a break for it. Not wasting another second, Double D got from above Marie, opened the back doors of the van and made way back to his house. Marie sat up soon as he opened the doors and slowly got out of the van shouting
Snapping out of her dream like trance, Marie hopped out the back of the van shouting "I'll get that kiss Oven-mitt! You can't hide from me!" When Double D heard her words he paused for a moment, thinking about how he felt about all of this. He knew he didn't want to continue torment forever so something had to be done. "I better get home and prepare to wrap up this eventful evening" he states as he walks home.
The sun was a little past setting and Eddy and Ed now had made their way back to their homes, not how they would prefer to though. Ed was traumatized by being in a situation he thought worse than confronting a Werecroc from one of his comics. Eddy was drained, angry, and severly annoyed that his face resembled her shirt (just with kiss marks and not circles).
After being assault by Lee's red lips, Eddy hit the shower as soon as he got home to remove all the lips stick on his face. Ed on the other hand dipped his head into his tub of gravy surfacing for air now and sobbing in between breaths "the germs, cooties, sugar kisses". Another day of Kanker attacks had passed but the Eds knew there would be more waiting later on. Though everyone besides Johnny were in their homes, they all were watching from safety. Horrified, relieved, and glad they didn't go through what the Eds did. Though Rolf was busy doing chores around his house to pay any attention to what had transpired in the cul-de-sac.
It was now 9:30 p.m and Double D was ready for bed after brushing his teeth. "I have to do something about Marie or I'll end up in more situations like today…so unpleasant" he said as he laid on his bed. Having a flashback to when he was on top of Marie, Double D blushed a little at how the situation looked. Turning out his light, his head met his pillow in hopes of an idea through his dreams. It didn't take long before he was fast asleep.
Meanwhile in the Kankers trailer, the three sisters were sharing their fun with the Eds with one another. Lee went first saying "I love how Eddy tries to run from me, if he were taller I might have a problem catching him, good thing his my little munchkin is short" then laughing at it all. May went on to say "who knew a mailbox was a perfect for so much kissing, it felt great having Big Ed's body close to mine" swooning and sighing at her experience.
After sharing their own moments, they looked at Marie who wasn't paying attention. "Hello! Earth to Marie!" Lee yelled at Marie in her semi deep-like voice. Marie returned to the world of the living and realized that they were sharing what they did with the Eds today. Her expression wasn't that of a typical "attack on Eds" kind of day. "Well you all saw what happened before he ran off" she said ever so plain trying to keep things short. May knew better because naturally she would have so much to say about the way Double D would react to EVERYTHING she did to him.
"Ah Marie you must be holding out, we know how you usually are with your man, spill it." she said giving Marie one of those looks that you give someone when you know there is more to the story. "Okay, so he ran down to the junkyard and he hid from me. I managed to trick him into revealing his hiding place." stopping to smile at how she knew her man well. "Anyway I found him in the van there and he thought he was safe, that's until I reminded him that I know a little more than a thing or two about cars" she said with a confident smile. Lee laughed as every Kanker had their own skill that helped capture their Eds.
"So then I went to the back and picked the lock, hopped in and he look like he was going to put up a fight but then threw in the towel. I took that as my cue and pinned him down, but what happened next surprised me." Marie went on with the same expression she made at the junkyard. Lee and May look at each other wondering how that could be when its normally them doing the surprising. "Now this sounds interesting, tell us the rest Marie" Lee said making a fist under her chin. "Right…he dodged my kisses, but then when I grabbed his face so he wouldn't move he turned the tables and pinned me down!" she said as her hands flew into the air.
Lee was confused and baffled beyond all reason. "You mean Double D? the weakness of all the Eds somehow turned the tables on you?" she asked rhetorically before a smile grew on her face. May's expression on the other hand looked as if she just saw someone defy the laws of physics "No way.." she said shocked. Marie explained it the best she could, though it was hard to believe even if she's the one who experienced it. "It's weird you know, I didn't get to kiss him this time" she said looking a little disappointed. Lee replied saying "well don't worry you'll be sure to get as many kisses as you want next time." May also added in saying "that's right, its not nice of a boyfriend to hold out on his girlfriend."
The Kankers laughed together for awhile before heading to bed themselves. Each Kanker said good night to one another before dozing off. All except for Marie who was still thinking about how Double D somehow turned the tides on her. Not to mention what she felt as he had control in the situation. "One day Oven-mitt, you'll be mine and I'll be yours" she thought to herself before falling asleep.
So what do you think? please let me know with reviews, I'm open to constructive criticism so fire away. I'll do my best to get chapter 2 up by next week for those who are interested. Hope you enjoyed the read :)