This was inspired by a "Dear Diary" entry my friend sent me and this is what happened...

(I do not own APH)

The Awesome Me?

So many feet pass me by, red ones, pink ones, high heel, no heel, runner, business. You name it; I've seen them all shuffling along throughout their busy day. I once had that feeling, the feeling of accomplishing business like things. Many times I hated my responsibilities and wanted to quit. But now, being a forgotten country abandoned on the street, I wished for every cruel responsibility back.

At one point, I was an awesome country called Prussia. Soldiers would stand tall and salute me; they respected the country that I represented. My little bro looked up to me and I raised him to be the amazing country of Germany…who I now envy. Damn it all, I am nothing more than an unawesome lump (so what if, "unawesome" is not a word, but I the aweso…forget it…does not work anymore…does it…). Friday night, last night to be exact, is when it hit me, hard. Being blissfully ignorant was better now that I think about it, ha. Anyway, I was at the bar, of course with my serious little brother and well most of the world…and...we just got done with a world meeting. I am not even sure why I was there….Moving on! So, I was at the bar and a chipper guy was next to me and I wanted to know his opinion of me, and I asked,

"So, what do you think of the nation of Prussia?" Guess what he said…

"Prussia? Never heard of it." I could have sworn my heart had stopped beating for a minute…. and it was a long minute. In fact, silence had fallen; it fell so hard you could hear a pin drop (okay that is way over used and…never mind). The worst part of it all, no one spoke up to inform him and I officially was more invisible than Canada will ever be. The nations themselves refrained from speaking….was I seriously not important? After a second, the room went busy like as usual. And it was then that some nations cheered! Go figure, those were the ones who hated me. All the others still did not say a peep, the only peep made was from Gilbird…probably the only true friend I ever had. Yet, I can understand their closed mouths. What in the world…ya world…would you say to a nation – non nation- that is no longer…awesome?

The people have forgotten me. I was just a thing now, floating around not even sure what my purpose was anymore. I left, not even finishing my beer – me not finishing my beer, that was unheard of when I was awesome - *sigh* of course it was down pouring outside, more drama. Blah, blah, blah that is not important, what is though, as I hate to admit, is the friends and family I had, even though I…will never be one of them again. Here is to you my little brother, you grown so much I…am proud of you and I love you to death and would do anything for you. Sorry for being such an arrogant prick. Hungary, well you beat me with that stupid frying pan one too many times and I could not stand to see you and Austria together, but well…I…I did like you. Austria…you are still a stupid aristocrat and I could never come to terms with and never will, kesesese…wait...on second thought…I never really laughed like that in a while, so I guess that is a…..small thanks. To my best friends, ha, never ever will I forgot all the crazy shiz we did, all the good times we had. I'll miss you two. To the rest of the world, who I probably just annoyed, good luck to you all and I hope none of you will have to deal with losing your identity. Einsamkeit is your only ally at that point.

I don't know when this became a letter, it was suppose to be a story of my life. But I guess this is the story of my life at this moment in time….So to whoever finds this, please send this message to my dear, dear brother Germany…

I Prussia, an albino country, has ceased to exist and will find peace somewhere else. Think what you want…it is probably right. Nothing you can say will make it better, but even so, by that time…it will be too late. I love you little brother, and I wish …that you will grow to be a better country than I.

~ The unawesome me,

Gilbert

P.s. Luddy I am giving you Gilbird, I am sure he would love a friend right now, he keeps bleeping me out, but maybe he will feel at home with you. Take care of yourself, you don't need me anymore…no one does.

Actually, just send this whole thing to him….

I am sorry for such a narcissist jerk that I was, but maybe I did it all to hide my true…feelings…learn from that kids…or you'll end up like me. Auf Wiedersehen…forever

~ Gilbert Beilschmidt