After dying my hair black, I realize how close I look to Amy Lee o.o though, she has a broader jaw than I, and looks waay older… the similarity is annoyingly close After looking at live performances on her while procrastinating from writing my other fanfic, I was inspired from a breathtakingly beautiful performance to write xD Check out her live performance of "Bring Me To Life" – it'll give you chills. Also, sorry if some of the emotions and fluff I write in her is inaccurate – I've never dated, and I've only sustained one heartbreak. The only people I lost weren't nearly as close as Nagato and Konan.
This is based after Nagato's death in Konan's POV – lately I've been writing a lot about after the scenes with a character's death in the series, something that the manga has a profound lack of. Now, for Hidan's death, if you want a 6000 word chapter on him complaining and dealing with emotionally scarring flashbacks including steamy KakuxHidan limes, please feel free to raid my profile for it.
Long, pale fingers moved lithely over the white coloured keys on a piano with newfound grace, though occasionally the young girl would miss a note or hit the wrong key, the emotion conveyed in her performance was blatant and obvious. The sound of it made her abused heart wrench painfully, each emotion conveyed, like mentioned before, was blatantly filled with sorrow and… what was that word? Longing.
Her pouty, white lips moved silently as if to sing along to the music she created silently – in her mind's eye she imagined that she had the same voice as the original producer of the song, singing like an angel inside of the impending darkness. In fact, that would be just what she sounded like if she sang; though rather she allowed the silence to compliment the enchantingly beautiful music she created, allowing each and every note to fill the empty room and resound through dark, gloomy metal walls.
http:/ www. youtube. com/watch?v=cWrSjlqZ3y0 (Delete the spaces and paste this into your browser. This is what she is playing.)
I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops, as they're falling, tell a story…
Her eyebrow furrowed subtly as she felt her heart squeeze, a small, translucent tear sliding down her albino pale cheek as her playing reached what seemed to be only the start of the song. Her deep, amber eyes remained closed despite the painful wrenching in her chest, her long eyelashes casting barely noticeable shadows on her high cheekbones from the very faint light outside – her heart continued to squeeze as though some unseen force had decided to play with it in such a sadistic manner. It hurt so much; the pain left a void within herself, reminding her of what she had lost, and what she would never get back. Despite how much pain the loss of him caused her, she would not succumb to it; curling up on the ground and crying over spilt milk would do nothing for her… but was this something that affected the world, or was it insignificant?
The answer was blatant to her: it affected her world… no, it shook it to the very core.
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me…
She knew the source of her pain – her inner pain that made her want to curl up on her bed and blast her iPod on full, the pain that made her crave a way to vent it and simply escape. Though, the female was simply too proud to succumb to running away or self pity – she vented her emotions through her playing instead of other more masochistic ways that she was unfortunately fond of due to a certain former silver haired Akatsuki member, each note her fingers struck conveying an emotion of mourning. Yes, her heart hurt; her emotions seemed to be thick and heavy within each note of music she played to Amy Lee's "Imaginary," playing as though she knew this song by heart. Indeed, she did – yet knowing all of the lyrics, she was not perfect; occasionally she would hit the wrong key, but she just didn't care.
The pains at her heart made her want to slam her hands down on the keys violently, and shove the old fashioned piano aside. It made her resist the urge to scream, though she succumbed to screaming on the inside; while her lips moved silently to each lyric that was supposed to be spoken and sung in an angelic way, no sound escaped. Her voice seemed to be lost in the midst of her deep thoughts and the mindless way her fingers struck each key with surprising gentleness, her blue hair resting at her shoulders moving with each shift of her small, beautiful head.
Music and art was her way of escaping this pain that threatened to reduce her to tears – music and art calmed her, it made her stress and emotions fade away, if not temporarily. Every movement of her fingers brought out some emotion within her, allowing it to vent as if her hands were the medium to venting and channeling this pain out of her – every time she created a new creation out of paper, she found it a little easier to ignore the pain as she worked. To her, art was a way of showing beauty in emotion and expressing what words cannot say nor convey; art was an inspiration, art was the true beauty found within darkness.
Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lays beyond my sleeping refuge
the nightmare; I built my own world to escape
She had no way to escape through dreams – music was her way of escaping this pain, allowing each syllable and chorus to take away a little of her pain temporarily, despite how it always came back for more like a hungry, sadistic wolf. She never understood what Nagato was truly going through – she understood the majority of his pain, yes, but he had gone through much more than she had. They had both grown up with each other since they met each other, but every loss he had to endure… It was new to her, yet it had happened to her repeatedly. First the loss of her sister, though it was nothing compared to Nagato's loss. Second the loss of Yahiko, an experience Konan never wanted to experience again – the pain she had experienced from that was much different from this, yet much the same. She had looked up to Yahiko, even grew a crush and affection towards him; when he was killed in front of her, her pain consisted of ambition and simple vengeance.
Her third loss was of many other Akatsuki members she had grown fond of, each of those deaths hardening her into something that thought death as a part of life; soon she became indifferent to the topic, until her indifference was destroyed, leaving her broken and falling apart similar to a mirror that had been abused too many times.
This time, her pain consisted of pure loss – she understood why she had to lose someone so close to her, she understood that it was his choice to give back so many souls to the dead ones of Konoha. Konan understood and had no regrets, yet why did it hurt her so much? She was screaming on the inside, each time her fingers struck a key her heart pained a little, leaving her expression slowly deteriorating to the sorrow it held within her. Her expression was a mask of sadness, a sadness that was barely nothing compared to what she felt on the inside, a sadness that was nothing compared to the hurricane of emotions threatening to break her and tear her apart even further than they already had.
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
the goddess of imaginary light…
"In my field of paper flowers…" Konan sung in a quiet, yet heavy tone as her amber eyes opened, her playing coming to a gradual, slow halt – though the heavy feeling over her heart remained ever present, torturing Konan with its very presence. She didn't like this pain; she never wanted to experience it again, and would rather feel the happiness she felt when she was with her Nagato. Her voice rang throughout the empty, metal building that was once the Akatsuki's main base – it was now abandoned and deserted, leaving remnants of the past that Konan would have smiled at, if not for the heavy feeling of sorrow on her heart. Every memory that came to her made her more optimistic side smile inwardly, despite how many of those memories consisted of various Akatsuki members being thrown at walls due to annoying their partners; it was sad how many times an Akatsuki member could annoy another, also an annoyance when they were immortal.
"Konan-chan, what is yaoi?" Tobi had asked one morning at the metal table in the makeshift kitchen, in fake naïveté's. Of course he knew what it was; the boy was at least 90-100 years old, for Kami's sake; if he had not heard of yaoi by now, he must not have ever gotten interested in written romance, or he was ignorant.
Deidara had spit his hot chocolate out of his mouth at the mention of yaoi, remembering all too well what Sasori had once made him read purely for sadistic reasons of Deidara's reaction. It was a memory that the blond terrorist had tried to block out of his mind many, many times – usually when a person reads yaoi, it is very soft and not extreme at all. But oh no – Sasori just had to pick out the most evil and hardcore volume he could find, all for the purpose of mentally scarring Deidara.
"Depends… are you sure you want me of all people to answer?" Knowing Konan, she would have answered blatantly and bluntly – just like how she explained how babies were made to Tobi by giving him Icha Icha Paradise. Despite knowing that Tobi obviously knew these things, his ignorance that was subtle and unnoticeable to the other members made each and every day a little more bearable in the Akatsuki.
"Pwease!" Tobi had pleaded, clinging to her around the waist. If she knew that he was just Tobi – an innocent, happy-go-lucky carefree S ranked criminal, she would have hugged back. But no; she knew his dirty little secret, and would show no kindness to his innocent façade as she would have with anyone else like his Tobi side.
"Well isn't this going to be interesting as hell." Hidan spoke sarcastically, leaning against the not-so-clean counter of the Akatsuki's base. Currently he was trying to figure out the most sadistic way to open an orange, and was having quite some fun with it using a blunt plastic spoon.
"Well… it's…" She paused, licking her lips. How should she go about this? Should she just hand him a book, or should she just tell him flat out? Yet again… if she gave him a book, it wouldn't be as fun; you couldn't see his expression of horror and disgust. "It's when two males have an intimate relationship with each other and express it through physical means – yaoi itself is usually manga with that… intimacy graphically drawn. Any questions?" Her amber eyes glanced around the room expectantly, a faint flicker of amusement passing through their depths; the Akatsuki was very, very amusing if you had a morbid enough sense of humor.
"I think I'm going to fucking puke, that's what." Hidan mumbled, shaking his head in disgust as he placed the ravaged orange down on the dirty counter that he had been leaning against. Too bad – that orange looked good before it was… well, dissected.
"Um… wow, Konan-san. You are pretty informed of that stuff…" Tobi mumbled uncertainly, oblivious to Deidara beating his head repeatedly on the wall while mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "must… destroy… image, yeah."
"I don't see what's wrong with it." She shrugged lightly, trying to pry Tobi off of her. "It's just conveying attraction; it shouldn't matter if you're either male or female." In truth, Konan had nothing against gays; they cannot choose who they fall in love or are attracted to, thus they cannot be blamed or shunned for it if you wanted to be fair to them. What was the point of hating on something that cannot be controlled?
"Guy on guy is disgusting…" Kisame wrinkled his nose as he walked into the room, his eyes at Itachi in the corner seated on a chair for a moment before looking at the pile of not-so-edible pancakes on the table. "Are these even edible?" He asked while picking one up – unfortunately it broke apart and splattered onto the table, conveying that maybe it wasn't cooked well… at all.
Ignoring his question, Konan spoke in a tone that was heavy with sarcasm. "Oh? What about you and Itachi cuddling in your room that one night?"
"There was no such thing." Kisame raised a navy-blue eyebrow, though Konan could have sworn that he might be a little more purple than blue at the moment. Yes, the shark could blush – it was very rare to see that, but it was indeed possible.
"Kisame, it's not polite to lie." Itachi sighed, drawing Konan's attention almost instantly. If she weren't a shinobi trained to notice almost everything, she would have overlooked him; the Uchiha was as silent as a corpse… in a non-morbid way, of course. "It was just for warmth, there's nothing embarrassing about it."
"Aw, Itachi and Kisame cuddled~!" Deidara spoke in a sing song voice, clearly teasing them. At this Konan chuckled quietly, pushing off from the wall that she was leaning against when she saw a rather determined spider crawling in her direction with newfound vigor.
Kisame snorted at this, leaning against the doorframe. "You're mature." The light fell across him in a way that a child would have peed himself if he saw Kisame; the Akatsuki's shark looked as though he was a blue giant out of a nightmare, equip with gills and a sword that looked suspiciously like a tampon. Scary.
"I wouldn't be talking. Weren't you the one getting upset about our pet fish being mutilated by Hidan?" Deidara retorted, making Hidan and Konan both smirk in response. Yes, the Akatsuki could be very amusing at times when they weren't trying to kill anyone, or extracting a bijuu – you'd be surprised on how stiff a member can get when extracting one of the tailed demons, it was sad.
"Fish are not meant to be mutilated and hurt." Kisame replied defensively looking a little hurt, the purple on his cheeks giving way to its former blue. Yes, Kisame did blush – only rarely, but the red of the blood usually made his cheeks purple due to his… exotic coloring.
"All of your maturity is absolutely astounding." Konan had mumbled sarcastically, finally succeeding in prying Tobi away from her she decided it would be best if she stood in the room; last time a fight broke out, their rice cooker and toaster were mutilated and destroyed in the worst possible ways imaginable. Apparently Deidara decided that Hidan's head maybe could fit in the small little slits at the top… after a half an hour later, Hidan proved him dead wrong.
It was memories such as those that Konan smiled inwardly at that, aware that she hasn't been playing for a full minute while she had been lost in her thoughts. If she could have those days back… it would be nice – the Akatsuki wasn't a very friendly organization at all, but when the mood was better than usual, it was actually quite amusing to be in their midst. Tobi lightened everything up, despite how if he were acting like Madara, the contrary would happen. If Madara was present at all of those times, they would have consisted of impending World Domination and unwelcome manipulation, oh and let's not forget feeling as though your mind has been raided and manipulated repeatedly. You could tell that Konan just loved Madara so very much.
The taste of blood filled Konan's mouth, making her aware that she had been biting down on her lower lip for quite some time, allowing her teeth to break the soft flesh. Sighing her hands came to life again, moving across the keys on the piano with the same gracefulness as before. Shoving aside thoughts of Madara and his habits of bending everything and anything to his will at the most inconvenient times possible, she was soon lost in performing.
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone…
This time she sang with the song, her voice filling the silent and dark room like an angels would – gods' angel, as she had been called many, many times. Her voice may not be as high as Amy Lee's, but it had a deeper tone to it that made it just as endearing and beautiful – it drifted quietly through the empty halls of the old Akatsuki base, almost quieter than the ever-present rain of Amegakure.
The fight that took place at Konoha… was it all for nothing? Was everything she and Nagato had strived for; was it all thrown away for nothing? Her heart squeezed painfully at this thought, her amber eyes wandering her surroundings; the gloominess of the building was astonishing, though somehow it fit her somber mood. Yes, she missed Nagato dearly; she wanted to feel herself nestled in his arms, she wanted to talk with him like they did for what seemed like a lifetime ago.
A strand of violet hair found its way in Konan's face, though she didn't care; her playing had found a new, hopeful pace; she would live for Nagato, and she would carry out her duties of looking over Amegakure as its new leader as well as she could. She would keep Nagato close at her breaking heart, but she would not allow herself to succumb to self pity; Nagato would look down on that, and she didn't want to let him down. She had too much to live for… but what will she live for, now that he has gone?
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Will she continue to push forward, but to where? Nagato was her purpose in life; he was her light that she had to move towards to stay on her path, but now she knew that she would eventually stray... she felt lost without him, without purpose. Nagato had been her purpose her entire life; she had followed him, she had trusted him, and she had believed in him… only for him to fade away and die, leaving her lost and alone. Again that feeling of something squeezing her heart returned, making her bite her lip at the feeling; she hated this feeling of emotional pain. It hurt her, it threatened to break her self control and reduce her to a crying adolescent girl who just got her heart broken. Konan, thank god, had never been at that stage; as a girl she had always been optimistic and happy, though matured from the grueling years she spent either alone or fending for herself until she met Yahiko. Between being happy for the sake of others and being mature to ensure their survival, there was never time for breaking down and reducing herself to tears; when she had felt tempted to, Yahiko had chased away all notion of the thought.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
It hurt her like hell singing like this, each and every memory of her and Nagato flooding her mind like a raging tide; every memory of them holding hands, every memory of her holding him after he woke up from an unexpected nightmare of either his past of Yahiko. Yes, she did have a relationship with Yahiko when she was younger; a growing crush for him, an affection that had eventually faded after his death, only a few years later. Originally it hurt to see Yahiko's corpse used in such a way, but eventually she grew to get used to it; Nagato was giving Yahiko a way to fulfill his goal, and Konan admired that. Konan never realized just how much affection and love she held for Nagato; she didn't mind that for them to walk among the streets of Amegakure he had to use one of his paths, she didn't mind that he used Yahiko's corpse for battles anymore. She was simply glad to be by his side, smiling and speaking, alive.
Now that she was the only one left of the original three, she felt blatantly alone.
Once saying that she didn't mind solitude, Konan had only realized too late that it was absolutely horrible. Knowing that she was singing into the silence and emptiness of the old Akatsuki base was little comfort to her – the memories still made her feel like smiling, but they otherwise did nothing to fill the empty void within her. Her amber eyes closed, the orbs holding a look of pure emotion – Konan was a slave to her own emotions, locked between the inexplicable urge to cry and mourn while fighting it.
She would not submit to crying. Nagato wouldn't want her to cry like a helpless girl; he would want her to stand up for what she believes in and simply be strong.
Despite knowing that if Naruto had never met Nagato he may still be alive, Konan found she just couldn't come to hate him. The child was no doubt the most ambitious and willful than she has ever seen aside from Yahiko; their similarities were astounding. She could tell that Naruto would someday grow to be a great shinobi, leading the Land of Fire as a strong leader; there was no doubt.
Despite missing Nagato so much, despite the raw feeling of pain and emptiness throughout her body, she found she had a deep respect for Naruto. Nagato clearly saw something in him, otherwise Konan knew he wouldn't throw away his efforts of destroying the Hidden Leaf so easily; it was Nagato's choice, and Konan had to respect that.
Even if she felt a hole deep within her, a void that she doubted could be filled.
"Konan-chan," Nagato had said one night, his figure barely noticeable in the dark gloom of the metal Akatsuki base overlooking Amegakure; his red, if not orange, hair was vivid in contrast with the gloom, making him stand out among the ever present rain.
"Nagato." She replied in acknowledgement, standing straight from where she was leaning against; in her palm was a single, intricately designed paper flower. Willing the paper flower to alter its shape, her amber eyes watched the paper flower quickly alter itself – it changed and formed into a butterfly, each of its wings symmetrical and complex in design. At the time, origami was something that she adored – her paper may be constantly damp from the rain from outside, but she didn't mind.
"How are you?" He asked in a tone that made Konan's blue eyebrow raise, his arm wrapping around her waist to pull her small body against his Deva Path. She did not mind; her attention was on him, and how he spoke. With being with Nagato so long, it was easy to read his actions and tone to determine what he was feeling… right now Konan had the inexplicable feeling that he felt lonely, or simply sad.
"I could be asking the same of you." She replied, returning the hug as she watched the butterfly flutter throughout the room, wandering a little too close to the open ledge and out onto the rain filled night, fluttering to the ground before dying. Tearing her attention away from the now-wet butterfly, Konan buried her pale head in his cold chest, breathing in his scent; it still reminded her of Yahiko, making a smile tug at her pale lips. Yes, she missed Yahiko's presence – but it wasn't something that she was still mourning for. No, Konan had gotten past her stages of mourning; instead her mourning of his absence turned into ambition, giving her the will to fight forward for him, for his memory.
"I need you…" Nagato's tone was sad, as though he felt just as Konan thought earlier; lonely. She could convey from his voice that his need wasn't a physical need, but it was an emotional need – something that Konan had given him many times before, holding him in her arms to comfort and fill him. This time his touch sent her body feeling alive, as if an electric current had passed through her, coming from his arms wrapped tightly around her small body.
"Nagato." She smiled lightly, nuzzling her head deeper into his chest. She never wanted to lose this, despite knowing that eventually it would be inevitable – eventually Madara would do it, or a strong ninja, if not a Jinchuriki, would take his life. The fact was inevitable, but Konan ignored it. "How much do you need me?" The question was mostly innocent, with a hint of a seductive undertone; flirting was something that Konan found natural to her, though she learned most of it from various Icha Icha books from her previous sensei. It was a way to get close to him despite not even talking, reading the perverted sage's books… still, Konan's opinion and feelings for her old sensei were cold and indifferent. She felt abandoned by him; he had no idea what she and Nagato had to go through after he left them.
"Konan…" He began, cupping her chin in his hand so his ringed eyes could gaze into her amber eyes, the emotion conveyed in that gaze making Konan surprised. "Do you love me, or the body I'm using?" Now, when you hear that, you think of a physical relationship; quite on the contrary. Yes, Konan did once love his body – Yahiko, the one that Nagato was controlling right now, devoid of Yahiko's soul and mind. Though, now? Her affections over Yahiko had faded into the past; she knew there was no sense in hanging on, but she had to move and push forward.
"Nagato, I used to have a strong affection for Yahiko…" She held his gaze steadily as she paused, before shaking her head. "But not love; what I felt back then is nothing compared to what I feel for… you." It wasn't hard for her to say that, but she was mostly afraid of him turning his back on her; yet, for some reason Konan knew that he wouldn't deny her. Though, when their lips met, she knew that he wouldn't deny her of what she felt – the feeling of his cold lips pushing against her gently to encourage her to mimic his movements caused Konan to lean in a little closer, her arms soon finding their way to drape across his neck.
Was it wrong to push Yahiko out of her mind at this moment? Was it wrong that she was now completely ignoring feelings that were now dead to her and going ahead with exploring these new feelings she had with Nagato?
All thoughts of Yahiko soon vanished from her mind as she felt his lips against hers grow hungrier, as if seeking more; she parted her lips slowly to allow him entrance, her left hand gently tracing around the piercings on his pale skin sending shivers throughout his cold body.
Konan found her hands momentarily motionless as she remembered that night, a light scarlet blush appearing on her cheeks only to be obscured by the dark, gloominess of the empty room. What did that night mean to her, exactly? What happened after that kiss was something that she would never forget, something that she would allow to remain at her pained heart until it faded from her memory; it meant everything to her. She felt truly connected to Nagato, though she wished that she hadn't delayed that moment for so long; not even a week after they had attacked the Leaf Village, ending up in Nagato's ultimate demise.
She missed him dearly, but she would absolutely not just sit around and do nothing – Konan would look after the city just as Nagato would have wanted her to do, and she would see through every goal that he had shared with her that she was sure he didn't go against. World domination now out of the picture, Konan could only hope that what she was doing would be right, or looked in Nagato's eyes positively.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
Yes, Konan had dreamed about Nagato since he died, and more than once; despite how they left her in tears when she awoke, she found herself glad that even her subconscious hadn't forgotten about him so easily. Still, every time she woke from those dreams she felt her pain worsen a little; more than once she had dreamed that they were together and he was alive, only for her to wake up to reality and know that he will not be coming back due to the empty spot next to her side on the bed. Yes, every time she realized the reality of things, reality itself would cause her heart to wrench in such a painful way… yet it was now becoming bearable, something that she was trying to accept, despite how much it blatantly hurt her.
Pale fingers flitting across keys, Konan sang along with the music she created in the gloomy silence; her eyes remained closed to the world, falling slowly in love with the painful melody that made her want to cry in mourning for Nagato.
Konan could distinctly feel eyes on her at this moment, though she ignored the feeling; it was something that she has grown accustomed to feeling as of late, though originally she was suspicious. At the beginning she suspected that the feeling of being watched was from Madara or even someone of Amegakure who wandered into the building, but she has never found whoever she felt watching her. Eventually she ignored the feeling, failing to acknowledge it; if she was becoming paranoid, then she would allow herself to grow out of it by bluntly ignoring the feeling itself.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along…
Has she been alone all along? The answer was yes and no; she had the entire Amegakure to look after, and even could gather some friends if she truly wanted. If she really wanted, she could call the maid Nagato had hired once, just to talk to her – though she probably still had hard feelings, due to the constant sexual harassment she got from the members of Akatsuki before she quit.
Konan could easily rejoin Akatsuki for the sake of adding more purpose into her life, but she went against that idea almost immediately; Nagato would not want her to do that, and Madara downright made her creeped out. It was unrealistic for someone to live as long as him, and be so powerful; it just didn't seem right.
Another memory made her seemingly lifeless, pale fingers pause on the keys that lay beneath her soft skin – the memory made her smile briefly, though it was merely a twitch at the right side of her small mouth. It was a day when Tobi had decided to get the Akatsuki into holiday spirit, something that seemed ridiculous and idiotic at the time… though looking back on the day, Konan would have loved to have it back, even if it meant having to deal with Hidan's constant stream of profanity.
"Tobi-san has an idea!" The annoyingly happy voice of Tobi exclaimed, drawing Konan's attention as she turned towards its source; there was Tobi, looking rather happy with smiles practically radiating off of him.
"Oh, lovely." Deidara mumbled with feigned happiness, though it was clearly 100% sarcastic – who could be happy with one of Tobi's ideas? His last idea had consisted of karaoke, which the members of Akatsuki had all replied in a rather defiant "HELL NO!" leaving Tobi most likely pouting. Still, he kept up with his idea and preformed a one man show – and let me tell you, Tobi's singing is just like having razor blades shoved into your ears and setting them on full blast. In other words it wasn't exactly nice… at all.
"Let me guess, more karaoke? Or maybe it's the wii this time?" Hidan snickered from his position on the couch that looked as though it was about to fall apart, reminding Konan that she had to tear away some money from the Akatsuki's treasurer to buy new furniture. See, when you're in any other base, furniture is something that is a luxury that the Akatsuki can seldom afford: not for money problems, but because of the fact that they had to constantly destroy all evidence of residence in case of attacks or ambushes.
Despite living in the main Akatsuki base at the moment in Amegakure, the place wasn't exactly… welcoming nor homey, and clearly lacked a feminine touch; it looked like a rundown home with residents that couldn't get off their ass to clean, making Konan sure that she would change that one way or another – they couldn't live this way.
"No, Hidan-san. This is much more interesting… we're going to do… CHRISTMAS!"
Despite how cheerful his entire sentence had sounded, the silence that greeted it was profound; Konan was even tempted to drop a pin just to see if they could hear it against the carpet flooring, though ranting and yelling soon took away the inexplicable urge. Ah, well – too bad.
"What the *bleep*?" Hidan exclaimed, releasing all of Heaven's – er, Jashin's – fury with that one sentence of annoyance and profound hatred for the word that the masked shinobi had muttered. "Christmas? Christmas is for wimps and babies who believe in fat ass pedophiles in giant red suits that call anyone within a five diameter a hoe three times!" Despite how this sounds, the words that Hidan really said were much, much more profanity filled.
"I'm sorry Hidan, but I think you are mistaking that for Orochimaru on that one." Kakuzu spoke at the mention of a pedophile, entering the room with what appeared to be an annoyed expression of distaste. Well, the Grinch has decided to join the little merry group after all.
"Oh, don't you get me started on that asshole of a pedophile!"
Konan sighed quietly, walked over to Hidan from her position of leaning against the wall; it was pathetic at times how easily he got annoyed and worked up, really. "Hidan, calm down. You don't have to participate if you do not want to."
Jashin's fury was soon transferred to Konan herself, his expression practically screaming murder. Jeez, you'd honestly wonder what Christmas had really done to him to get him so worked up like this. "Fuck these heathens! I will not celebrate Christmas, and I will not be around people celebrating it!" When rewarded with a pointed glare from Konan from using such profanity in front of her, he had mumbled something suspiciously like 'damn you, Pein's bitch' causing Konan's eye to twitch in a sudden burst of anger.
"Excuse me? I am nobodies bitch." She replied, a little angry that the Jashinist had the nerve to call her such a thing; it would have made her blush either in embarrassment or rage if she could not control her blush, though she controlled it quite well.
"Oh snap!" Deidara laughed from his position, though quickly was shut up as Konan's gaze shifted towards the blond terrorist; sometimes he annoyed her greatly, and his comments were not helping at all.
"Konan-chan! It's okay, Hidan is just a dumbass!" Tobi exclaimed, surprising Konan with his choice of words; it was rare to see the masked shinobi swear, especially at others; he constantly preferred to use honorific suffixes and treat each member with respect. To others it seemed like Tobi was being Tobi, but Konan knew it was simply to get on their good side for future manipulation.
"Good choice of words." She smiled briefly, allowing Tobi to hug her around the waist; it bothered her, but she let him just this once.
"Screw you, Tobi!" Hidan huffed, glaring daggers at him. Ah well – the Akatsuki couldn't be peaceful all the time, now could it?
"What does Konan think? Should we get presents for each member?" Tobi asked her, sounding eager; the Akatsuki rarely was bestowed with presents other than ryo for missions, and when they were rewarded with presents, it was usually for capturing a jinchuriki. Even then the presents were simple – coloured clay for Deidara, supplies for Sasori including poison, the occasional fish for Kisame… well, you get the point.
"I don't know, what does our treasurer think?" Konan's amber eyes turned to the miser sitting at the dinner table in the other room, in sight yet far enough away to escape the hyper aura Tobi radiated off of him. With moods, Konan found that she was highly empathetic to emotions – she could feel when someone was in a good mood, or in a really bad mood. Unfortunately the members of Akatsuki were usually in bad moods.
"I think that the water bill is too high…" Kakuzu mumbled from where he was, making Konan curious on what he was doing; if he was counting money, then he might be annoyed or stressed out. See, each person has something that makes them feel better; to Deidara it was art, to Konan it was origami and piano, and to the miser of Akatsuki, Kakuzu, it was counting money – upon questioning he would say that it was the feeling of the cool metal in between his fingers that calmed him down.
"Then go get a bounty, yeah."
"Oh fuck no. Last time Kakuzu made me drag two bodies at one time – that was no fair, man!" Hidan whined, causing Konan to sigh. What he said was true; the mission Nagato had sent them out on took the zombie pair three additional days due to handing in three different bounties, though it was worth it in the end; the Akatsuki had a little extra money to the side.
Short story short, the Akatsuki's Christmas wasn't very fun at all; after three mutilated trees it was apparent that Hidan wasn't going to let the Akatsuki get away with a shiny tree in their living room, and after Sasori opened his present it was apparent that he wasn't going to wait a night to open a box.
Ah well – it was worthwhile while it lasted.
The feeling of someone's eyes on her heightened to the point that Konan had shifted uncomfortably, listening closely to her surroundings in case it simply wasn't any sense of paranoia she had somehow gotten. The sound of ever-present rain beating down on gray, lifeless metal walls soon greeted her hearing, making her sigh in content. Despite the ever present rain constantly beating down on Amegakure, Konan never got sick of it; the sound put her at peace, it made her calm.
"Konan-san, are you just going to sit there all day?" A certain voice spoke from behind her, the voice very, very familiar; it belonged to a member of Akatsuki that was semi-close to her, a bipolar venus flytrap man.
"And if I am?" Was her apathetic reply, her mind groping through the darkness for any hint of another person in the area; where Zetsu usually was, Madara usually followed… or was it the other way around? "What brings you here, Zetsu?" Konan asked, turning on the piano stool to look at him; he looked the same as ever.
"I came for a visit, but hearing you play and sing, I didn't have the heart to stop." He paused, the white side of his split personality clearly speaking – that side was usually the most happy and positive side, a side that was favored by Konan. "After you spaced out, it was apparent to us that you weren't going to play anytime soon."
"I didn't know you were into music, Zetsu-san." She raised a blue eyebrow in curiosity, standing; her Akatsuki cloak moved with her movements, falling across her body as if it were one. Despite not belonging to Akatsuki anymore, Konan preferred to continue wearing it; it had become a part of her, and a reminder of Nagato.
"We're not." They replied at the same time, causing Konan to blink; it was slightly confusing to hear both voices at once, but she had gotten used to it a long, long time ago.
"Hm." She nodded, her eyes betraying the sadness within that her expression refused to show. "I'm assuming that a little visit isn't the only thing you came for?"
"Nope." The white side smiled, while the black side's lips remained the same; neutral. "We came with a warning; Madara will not let you remain idle, rejoin us, Konan-san." A small pause. "We miss you; the Akatsuki isn't as calm without you."
"I have no interest in rejoining you." Konan spoke bluntly, blatantly showing her disinterest in the Akatsuki. She had only been inside of it earlier for Nagato, but now he has gone, she has no purpose for it.
"That's your choice, then. We will not push." Black Zetsu replied to her statement, both of them in one being looking as if they had anticipated her reaction and blunt response. "You miss him, don't you?" White Zetsu spoke after moments of silence, his voice surprisingly sympathetic.
"Of course I do, Zetsu…" She paused, biting her lower lip to keep her tears from sliding down her cheek. Why did it take Nagato's death for her to realize that she truly, genuinely, loved him? It was not fair; she wanted to be the one to tell him how much she loved him and mean it 100%, she wanted to hold him... "I can do nothing to change his choice, though. I will respect it, even if it has left me behind." Her eyes were now downcast, looking to the metal ground of the old Akatsuki base.
"What if we said we could revive him with Impure World Resurrection?"
This caught Konan's attention, causing her to look up slowly with mild interest; the very thought of it made her want to spit at him, though she dearly wanted it, even if he would become a complete puppet to Madara. But no… she wouldn't. "Zetsu, he made his choice; he sacrificed himself for the sake of Konoha and the will of fire. You can't go back and deny his choice – he would not want to be revived only to be a puppet to Madara's dispense."
"Think of what you could have back; you played those songs for a reason. You miss him; running away from the fact will do nothing."
Konan glared. "I am not running away from the fact; I am embracing it. I understand I could have him back, but what would Madara do with him? He would use him against the leaf village; he would make Nagato destroy everything he sacrificed himself for. It's not worth it, Zetsu."
"Konan-chan…"
"Leave and go back to Madara…" She bit her lower lip, her sorrow-filled amber eyes sparking in their depths, betraying her longing for Nagato – she wanted to hold him, she wanted to tell him she loved him… but she would not allow him to be revived only to be a puppet of Madara.
"Are you sure?"
"Leave." Her eyes rose to him, the spark growing… no, it was not longing for Nagato. It was a newfound will to push forward, to protect what she held closest; the deceased Nagato, whom she knew Madara was going to attempt to revive him, or even take his eyes… would that mean Zetsu being here was a distraction from Konan protecting Yahiko and Nagato's shrines?
The thought repulsed her – she knew that Madara could and would go that low to take Nagato's eyes, and judging from what Zetsu had just said, he would also try to revive Nagato eventually… something that Konan must put a stop to. Within moments her body seemed to break off into multiple turquoise coloured paper butterflies, filling the room with artistic, carefully crafted butterflies that seemed to stay aloft on their own. As they flew past Zetsu, he showed little sign of stopping her; either he knew her plan to go to the shrine, or he simply would stay put.
No… Konan would not let Madara even get close to the shrine – the power hungry old man should keep his hands to himself, should learn to give up and leave what isn't his alone. Was this what drove her on with newfound ambition, when before she felt as though she was barely hanging onto the broken pieces of herself? Konan had been shattered, only for this newfound ambition of keeping Nagato and Yahiko's corpses away from Madara to keep Konan together in one, fragile piece that threatened to break apart if handled too roughly.
It was true; she would absolutely not let Madara get anywhere near Yahiko or Nagato as long as she remained breathing.
Artistic beauty found in origami seemed to dart through the streets of Amegakure using the cover of buildings to keep them from becoming wet from rain, their passage causing the origami angels on occasional doorsteps to flow with a seemingly nonexistent breeze in Amegakure. Konan barely offered a backwards glance at the streets of Amegakure and the gawking citizens at the floating, darting paper butterflies through the streets of Amegakure; every building appeared to be made of metal and various pipes, showing no sign of rusting yet each building had been reduced to a grey colour, conveying the gloomy surroundings of the Land of Rain.
Feeling her seemingly nonexistent heart wrench, Konan's expression would have contorted into something akin to pain if she hadn't been separated into hundreds, if not thousands, of small paper butterflies; the reason for her heart wrenching was obvious.
By the time she had arrived at the shrine, Madara was already in the area, standing upon a beam with grace only a ninja could possess.
SPOILER ALERT!
That took longer than it should have… well, if you're up to date with the manga, you can tell that if I kept on going, I would be writing about Madara and Konan's battle resulting in Nagato's eyes being stolen and Konan blowing up… *Sigh.*
Review, please?