The Best Laid Plans

By RascalFlattsS

Disclaimer: Do not own Royal Pains.

Summary: It was a simple plan. It's funny how such a simple plan can go so horribly wrong. It wasn' BIG HUGE HAIRY SPOLIER ALERT for "Frenemies".

I was going to make this a one-shot but it's a little bit easier-and faster-to do it in chapters.

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray" –Robert Burns

Chapter 1: This isn't part of the plan….

"Just stay behind me," snapped Colonel Collins. He turned and walked down the hill, leaving Evan standing behind him.

Evan rolled his eyes. He should have known better then to lie to Paige's parents and pretend to be her "faux beau" (and he was sure that somewhere Hank was saying "I told you so").

It was a simple plan. Just pretend to be Paige's boyfriend. Pretend to be a expert hunter. It was simple in theory. Bad in practice.

He should have known that it was not a good idea to go hunting with Paige and her parents. What the hell had he been thinking? He can't hunt! Granted he had gone with his best friend Tim McGee to a shooting range a few years ago when Tim started at NCIS… but that was different. Completely different. Evan had barely hit the target (and much to his happiness Tim hadn't done a whole lot better). And now here he was in the middle of woods, pretending to be this expert hunter! What the hell had Evan been thinking?

Evan tried to remember why he agreed to this, he couldn't except that Paige was really cute…

Evan looked up startled. He cursed. The Colonel was nowhere in sight.

Great, that's all I need, thought Evan, if I get lost out here Hank will never let me forget it…

Evan walked forward, looking to the left and right for the Colonel. He heard a twig snap behind him and he quickly turned around to determine the cause of the sound. He saw the Colonel standing in front of him, with a look of shock and horror on his face.

The next thing Evan was aware of was a sharp pain in his chest. Evan looked down at his chest and was shocked to see a dark red stain growing on his shirt. He looked up at the Colonel before he fell forward, landing face first into the ground.

It's amazing how quickly a simple plan can go so horrible wrong so quickly.

One moment he's out hunting with Paige and her parents and the next moment, he's on the ground with a bullet wound in his chest. Typically. Nothing can ever go as planned….

Evan distantly aware of someone turning him over, rolling onto his back. He looked up and saw the Colonel standing over him.

"I told you to stay behind me!" shouted the Colonel, angrily.

Evan groaned from either pain or annoyance, he wasn't really sure. At this point, he really didn't care. He leaned his head back against the ground, trying to breathe through the pain. Which is pretty much impossible as his breathing is what is causing him so much pain.

Suddenly a sharp pain course through him and Evan sat up screaming. His eyes flew open and he saw the Colonel had taken off his jacket and was pressing it hard against his wound. Evan tries to push him off, but the Colonel holds firm.

"Hold still!" yelled the Colonel. He never let up the pressure from the wound, despite how hard Evan was trying to get away. "Hold still damn it! Do you want to bleed to death?"

"No," gasped Evan. He stopped moving. The pain hurt so much. The Colonel was putting so much pressure on his ribs that Evan was pretty sure they were in China by now. Every breath hurt. Every thought hurt. Evan didn't realize he had even closed his eyes until the Colonel was screaming at him.

"Evan! Stay awake! Evan!"

"Evan! Oh my God! EVAN!" Evan opened his eyes and saw Paige and her mother running towards him. Paige collapsed on the ground next to him.

"Oh my God! EVAN! What happened?" asked Paige.

"Got shot," gasped Evan.

"I told him to stay behind me!" shouted the Colonel angrily. "Your boyfriend doesn't listen!"

"So you shot him?" shouted Paige, angrily.

"I'd hate to be a bother," gasped Evan. "But could you maybe finish this a little later because this really hurts." Evan gritted his teeth against the pain. "And I mean really hurts."

"Right," said Paige, "of course." She turned to her mother, "Mom, call 911!" Ellen Collins looked at her daughter and nodded, pulling out her cell phone.

"Paige," whispered Evan.

Paige looked at him. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly in her own. "You're going to be okay, Evan. Just hang on."

Evan shook his head. He may have never gone to medical school, but he had been around Hank (and to a certain extent Tim) long enough to know that a gunshot wound, in general, is not good. A gunshot wound to the chest is definitely not good. A gunshot wound that is causing massive blood loss-not to mention the fact that Evan can't breathe-is definitely NOT good.

Evan didn't know the exactly what the medical term was but he definitely knew an accounting equitant: Enron.

Evan swallowed hard. His vision was swimming and it was getting harder to focus. "Hank," he gasped.

"Whose Hank?" asked the Colonel.

"His brother," said Paige. She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. "Don't worry, Evan. I'll call Hank. Everything will be fine. You're going to be just fine."

Evan shook his head. He could feel the tears forming in his own eyes.

"Tell Hank," gasped Evan. His breath was constructed and blackness was clouding his vision. "Tell Hank I love him."

Paige shook her head, tears rolling down her face. "No Evan."

"And that I'm sorry," said Evan. He was barely holding on to consciousness…

"No," said Paige, "you can tell him yourself. You're going to be fine, Evan. Evan? Evan!"

Evan heard Paige calling his name and he wanted to respond but he couldn't hold on anymore. He felt himself falling into darkness. And the world just slipped away.

Please R&R.