~*~now on to the fic~*~
Somewhere in the dark forest around them, crickets chirped as the fire before them crackled merrily. Duo stretched and looked around him. The four other gundam pilots were all sitting around the fire, eating from their dented plates and cups. His mind raced as he thought of the mission tomorrow, they had to destroy a near by base. As his eyes moved over the pilots, his mind changed to other thoughts. Wufei, the Chinese pilot hurriedly finished his dinner and stood up to walk off in the dark.
"Hey wu-man? Where you going?" Duo spoke up. Wufei turned to look at him with piercing black eyes before turning and walking off again. Duo sighed *mediation, * he thought. His deep violet eyes then moved over to Trowa and Quatre, they were so nice together. Trowa got up to put away his and Quatre's plate as Quatre's crystalline blue eyes followed the lean body with a slight sparkle of affection glittering brightly in each one. When Trowa returned, they both got up and went to their tent. Duo's eyes continued moving until they rested on the last pilot. *Heero, * he sighed to himself. Heero was dutifully taking care of the fire. The light flickered and highlighted all the features of his object of affection. Duo sighed again, and turned to rummage through his bag, and pulled out his Discman with earphones. Heero heard the noise and turned to Duo, one wary eye glancing at the electronic device, then turning back with a scoff and a mutter that sounded something like, "useless piece of junk..." Duo stifled his third sigh before stuffing the earphones into his ear and pressing play. A soft music filled his ears...
*Out here in the quiet of the night,
Beneath the stars,
And the moon...*
Duo glanced up at the night sky and saw a brilliant shooting star streak thorough the murky blackness. To himself he whispered a wish while glancing back at Heero. As if Heero noticed Duo's eyes on him, he turned and Duo quickly averted his eyes...
*We both know we've got something on our minds,
We won't admit,
But it's true,
You look at me,
I look away...*
Duo hoped that his cheeks weren't blushing fiercely, and decides to distract himself. He turns back to his duffel and searches deep and pulls out a notebook and a pencil.
"I might as well write in my journal or something..." He sighed to himself. These days he's been writing in a journal to help control the emotions that are surging through his body at times like this. He begins with the usual "dear journal..." and scribbles random thoughts. Duo stopped and decides to read the past journals instead. He flips back a couple pages and his eyes land on a random paragraph. As he reads on, he realizes it was a letter to Heero that he had written a while back. He sighed...
*I want to tell you what I'm feeling,
But I don't know how to start,
I want to tell you,
But now I'm afraid that you might break my heart,
Oh why should anything so easy,
Ever be so hard to do,
I want to tell you what I'm feeling,
To say that,
I love you...*
Duo looked up with a familiar burning followed by dampness in his eyes. He's been having this sensation for a while. He blinked and looked over at Heero once again.
"Aishiteru Heero..." he mumbled.
Heero felt his heart jump when he heard duo mumble something that sounded like Aishteru. "Could it be..." he thought? He shook his head and turned to Duo.
"What?"
"Oh nothing Heero, just talking to myself again," Duo replied with that quirky grin of his.
Heero felt his heart drop again and turned to tend the fire again. He could feel tears trying to squeeze past the emotional barriers he had set up in himself, but he stiffened up and the sinking feeling passed, but the hollow emptiness still remained.
Duo turned back to his journal, he flipped to a new page and started another letter to Heero.
~Dearest Heero,
Before we met, there was this aching empty space in me and gnawed at me, until I almost couldn't take it. Then you came into my life, and even in your insensitive, "perfect soldier" kind of way, you filled that space. My life had meaning. All those times that I thought about self-destructing, I stopped because a hope inside of me told me that maybe someday you'll feel for me too, and that all the pain would be worth it when it happened. To this day, I still wait for that day. I keep going with the thought of you at the end of my path in my mind. I don't know how you feel for me now, but Aishiteru Heero, and know that I'll always be here, waiting.
Love,
Duo~
With a groan, he ripped out the paper, crumpled it, and threw it into the fire.
*I practice all the things I would say,
Line by line,
Every word,
I tell myself,
Today could be the day,
But every time,
I lose my nerve,
I look at you and you look away...*
Duo watched as Heero glanced at the paper slowly burning in the flames, at Duo, and then quickly back to the flames.
Heero looked over at the paper that Duo had hastily threw in the fire. He caught 2 words, before the paper disintagrated into ashes. "Dearest Heero..." He glanced over at Duo and when he realized Duo was staring at him, he turned back the fire as quickly as he could. Could it be...?
Duo sighed when Heero turned away from him. Heero stood up and turned toward the tent that he and Duo had to share. He turned back to Duo and opened his mouth...
"Put out the fire when you come in..."
A lump formed in Duo's throat when he realized that Heero was speaking to him and he stammered a reply.
"Hai, Oyasuminasai!" Duo cried cheerfully, mustering a smile. Heero turned back to the tent and entered it. Duo's eyes wistfully followed Heero's body into the tent, and stared at the illuminated tent, until finally the light in it died.
"Why,
Why do you turn away?
It must be,
Your afraid like me,
I try,
But I can't pretend that I,
Don't feel for you the way I do,
Can't you see? *
Duo turned back to the fire, and stared into the flames, lost in his own thoughts. Only when the batteries in his Discman ran out, did he snap out of his trance and catch the last few fading words of the song he was listening to...
*...to say that,
I love yo--*
He let out a long breath and ripped the earphones from his ears and stuffed the Discman, and journal back into his duffel bag. He grabbed the pail of water nearby and doused the flames. Duo watched the smoky tendrils reach up to the sky and watched another shooting star pass by. With a heavy heart, he trudged over to his tent and pushed back the front flap. His eyes quickly adjusted to the dark and he stood inside for a while, staring at Heero's sleeping form. He sighed and flopped onto his makeshift bed, hoping to lose his thoughts in the deep recesses of his blankets and his cousin, Sleep.
Heero lay in bed staring up through the semi-transparent plastic of his tent. He watched a shooting star pass by when Duo entered their tent. He watched as Duo stood there for a while staring at Heero before going to bed. Heero listened to the ragged uneven breathing of Duo until it leveled out and steadied. When he knew it was safe, he looked over to Duo's prone figure. Duo was sprawled out on his blankets and his bangs were unrulier then usual. Heero reached out with a slender hand and brushed those stray chestnut strands out of the way. While drawing back, the back of his hand brushed against the silky skin of Duo's cheek. He gasped and marveled at the softness of Duo's skin. With a deeply aching heart, he pulled back, and turned his back toward Duo, and fell into the sympathetic arms of sleep.
Duo woke at a sudden touch on his face. It took all his energy to stay still, and pretend to sleep. He felt the hand on his cheek leave and heard rustling of blankets next to him. He glanced over cautiously and stared at Heero's back.
"Aishiteru Heero..." he whispered.
As Heero drifted off into a deep sleep, 2 words pierced the murky darkness and flared briefly before he lost consciousness,
"Aishiteru Heero..."
~owari