Memory and Choice
The Bribe, Ben thought. The damn bribe. If we just hadn't given that stupid gift card to that maintenance worker, Leslie might have a chance at keeping her job.
Ben had no idea what to do. He knew how important Leslie's job was to her. Leslie's two favorite things were friends and waffles, but work was a close third. Not to mention, without her, the Parks Department would have no kind of leadership. Someone new would have to be hired…someone who was not Leslie Knope.
He leaned against the wall outside the courtroom and sighed. Leslie was in there right now, and once George the maintenance worker took the stand it would be all over. Leslie's job, her chance at the city council election, both over. And what would the department do without her? Not every department has a Leslie Knope.
Not every department has a Leslie Knope…. Ben's thoughts trailed off. He'd heard that somewhere, from someone. Who told him that? And why would they have…
Then the answer came to him, clear as day. Snippets of a conversation he had with Ron two years ago, when he first came to Pawnee.
He could hear his own voice running through his head, filled with phrases so far off and distant they now seemed part of another world… "Seems like the best option is job cuts, starting with Leslie Knope," … "Every department has a Leslie Knope."
Ben had said those things. He said those things about Leslie, of all people. The most amazing woman to come into his life. He tried to cut her job! There were other cuts he could have made, but he wanted to cut Leslie. She got on his last nerve, and her fervor and persistence and passion, qualities he now loved about her, bothered him then. Post ice town Ben didn't think foolish passion would help him in life.
Then, Leslie reminded him that to make a difference, you need stubbornness, passion and a little bit of recklessness. It was because of her that he found those traits within himself again, and that was why he loved her. Yes, he loved her. He hadn't told her yet, but he'd known it for a good while.
When he figured out that she was running for city council, he was excited for her, but crushed as well, because he knew it meant he had to let her go. He didn't want their relationship to compromise her dream. He couldn't allow that to happen because…he loved her.
Ben could remember musing on that thought for a while. It was that moment that he realized he loved Leslie. It was unfortunately a moment when he could, under no circumstances, tell her how he felt. Instead, he gave her the button, and expressed his true feelings as much as he could through his sarcastic "and frankly, you disgust me," speech.
Now, Leslie was in there, about to lose her job and her dream over him. He couldn't bear for her do that.
Ron's words, spoken two years ago, echoed in his ears again. "No, Ben. Not every department has a Leslie Knope."
Ron had been right. It just took him a while to see it. And now he knew it to be true. But he still wasn't sure what to do for Leslie.
Then, he remembered the rest of the conversation he'd had with Ron, all that time ago. What was it that Ron had said? "Cut my job, not Leslie's."
Ben took a deep breath. That was a scary thought. And yet… He said it aloud. "I think I've found my answer."
The door of the courtroom opened, and the panel walked out.
"Ben! You're still sitting out here!" Ben looked up into the face of Chris Traeger, noticing that it seemed less sunshiny than usual. Without hesitation, he spoke. "Can I request a quick meeting?"
Chris nodded, and Ben got up to follow the panel to the meeting room. Maybe this was insane. Perhaps this was the part of him that thought it would be a brilliant idea to construct a huge and expensive ice rink with government money. But this? This insanity felt right. It wasn't some teenage mayor lunacy. It was his love for Leslie Knope.