"There's only us, there's only this: forget, regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today"
" I think is might be better if we just stayed really good friends. Anything other than that just gets to complicated." Her words had haunted him for the last three months. He was just glad she was talking to him at that point.
After he had ran out on her he thought she might follow through on her promise of never talking to him again. He could never live if she did, the thought sent a chill down his spine. But earlier that morning she had seemed so distant, and it hurt him. He had only agreed to the "just good friends" deal because he thought it was what she wanted. He had really wanted to give them a try, but she had asked different and he just wanted her to be happy, so he agreed. The minute he had started to walk away he regretted his decision and went back to tell her. But he stopped when he heard her and Pete talking…
"Pulled the friends card huh?"
"No I did, defense mechanism." She was crying, because of him. "It was just so close to being perfect. Oh… listen to me, I sound so pathetic. A tornado hit. People are in real trouble and I'm upset because Clark didn't fulfill my wish fulfillment fantasy. You must think I am an awful person."
"Yeah. You're a real monster. Come on."
And they walked off to continue searching for Clark's dad, never noticing a glossy eyed Clark Kent behind them. He hadn't been there when Chloe left for her internship, he didn't think he could face her. He felt so horrible, he knew he needed to make it up to her, but she made it clear she wanted space. So he responded rarely to her emails and never went to visit her like he had promised.
He figured he was only hurting her more, but it would kill him to see that look in her eyes. That look of lost hope and what could have been. When he saw her this morning a feeling resounded in him soul. It was a feeling of true happiness, he never realized just how vital she was to his happiness. He was so overjoyed to see her he threw away all the awkwardness and scooped her up into a big hug.
But he could feel her resistance and it saddened him. He knew that it would take her time to heal, but he had hoped three months would be enough. Even though truth be told, he himself had yet to heal from the pain her tears had caused him that day. He just had to show her how happy he was to have her back. She had laid the guilt trip on him for his lack of communication, and he wanted to tell her why but wouldn't bring himself to expose his knowing about her defense mechanism.
So he lied, yet again, to her. It hurt him, but he felt it was the right thing to do for now. Then she brought up the "hot intern from Metropolis High". His smile had faded, had she really met a guy that made her forget all about Smallville and him? Did she really just forget what they almost had that night and find a replacement that fast? This stirred anger in him, not at her but at him. For letting her go when he had the chance to make her his. That's when he decided he needed to discard his worries and how she might react, he had to tell her he wanted to be with her.
~*~
As he stared at her from across the pool at Lex's wedding he could see just how stupid he had been. She looked radiant in that dress, the colors played off her snow white skin so beautifully under the sun's rays. And her hair, which looked like it would take some time, but knowing Chloe it only took twenty tops, it was just so…Chloe.
His urge to just jump across the pool and take her in his arms was very overwhelming but he fought it, for the sake keeping his sanity. But as soon as Lex and Desire had cut the cake and everyone was allowed to mingle, he bee lined over to her. "Hey, Chloe. I've been looking all over for you."
"Hey. Really? I'm not that hard to find, Clark. Only Lex Luthor could put together a fairly tale wedding in less than 48 hours." She was avoiding the subject and he knew it, but he was determined not to let her get away with it.
"Look... you seemed a little distant this morning. I wanna make sure everything's Okay between us."
"Yeah, it's hunky-dory!" Wow, that just confirmed how much she was really avoiding the subject.
"Wait. Now I know something's wrong. The only person who says "hunky-dory" is my father." He asked her, now all he was hoping for was an honest response.
"Look, Clark, I... I guess I just let my feelings get the better of me, but, you know... we made a decision and I'm perfectly fine with it."
Now was his chance, he had to say it now or else he would for fit all right to say it again later. "Well, I am not." He said it all in one quick breath and looked directly into her eyes to gauge her reaction.
Her eyes widened and she looked at him with utter confusion. "Wha…what?!" She raised her voice as she exclaimed her question. He jumped at the highness of her octave, people around them started to stare.
"Here lets go over here where we can talk in private." He grabbed her arm and gently lead her over to a secret location on the grounds. She followed him but only because she didn't want to be tomorrows gossip in Smallville, it was enough she had to print some of it at school she had no intention of being it.
When they reached the spot she took her arm back from him and crossed them over her chest and waited for him to start talking. Clark could tell by her actions that this was going to require very delicate words. He needed to speak, because she sure wasn't going to. "Look, Chloe. That day in the woods when we were looking for my dad and I pulled you aside, I wanted more than I said I did."
She scoffed, "Brilliant timing" Her remark dug at his ego and strong will to continue but he sucked it up and started again with his speech.
"You said you wanted to just stay really good friends, and I agreed…"
She cut him off, "Thanks for the recap but I was there Joe Madden." Now she was just making him mad, why did she have to make these things so difficult on others?
"Just shut up and let me finish!" His outburst startled her and she jumped, not something you would expect from Clark Kent. He immediately regretted his harsh words, "Sorry, god I am sorry Chloe but you have no idea how hard this is for me Chloe. So please just keep the comments to yourself until I am done, then I will let you have free reign to say whatever you want. Please?"
She listened and could see this was honestly a hard task for him, she nodded and whispered, "Okay" He broke a smile, "Thank you. Now, I only agreed to your friends idea because it seemed to be what you wanted. I didn't want to be "just friends", but if it was what you wanted then I was willing to do it." He paused to watch her, he needed to know that she was understanding all of this and what it meant.
She could hardly sit still let alone keep her comments to herself. There were so many things she wanted to yell at him, but couldn't. She wanted to punch and hit and just basically kick his ass, but she didn't. She stood there and she waited for him to finish. Seeing that she was doing her best to keep up her end of the deal he continued on.
"These last three months have been hell without you Chlo. I wanted to call you and talk to you so many times, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because, and you can't get mad at me, I heard you and Pete talking after our brief conversation."
Her eyes widened, he had heard that! Oh god, now she just wanted to dig a whole in the expensive flower bed next to her and die, Again her brain filled with so many things she wanted to say, but she clamped her lips shut to keep her from saying them.
He didn't know what he was expecting from her, but he could tell she was feeling mortified that he knew. "I didn't mean to hear you, I was actually coming back to find you and tell you I wanted to be more than friends, take that chance. But then I heard you and Pete and I stopped, and the conversation was more than I could walk away from. I heard all you had to say, and it broke my heart Chloe."
Her eyes softened and so did her anger, she could see that he really meant that. He wasn't saying things to get his way, or make her feel better. It was the god's honest truth and it brought tears to her eyes. He watched her eyes get glossy and his eyes mirrored hers, "I couldn't bring myself to face you and fake that I didn't know. So when I saw you this morning I was a. so glad to see you and b. hurting when you tried to shrug off our friendship. Please tell me you didn't meet some guy, I want to be your guy."
She giggled out a laugh slash sob as a tear escaped her eye, "No, I made up Mr. Wonderful to make you jealous. I wanted to see how you would react if you thought you had lost me."
He let out all the breath he had been holding in, "Thank god, Chlo don't ever do that again. I couldn't live if I ever lost you." He stepped closer to her and began to wipe away her tears. "So what do you say, want to give this dance a go?"
She leaned into his touch and smiled, "Yes, but I swear if you do what you did last time I will keep that promise this time."
He smiled that Kent smile and leaned down to kiss her. "Don't worry, I am not going any where."
The End
