Based off a dream I had… Don't ask me where my subconscious mind comes up with these things, it just does. It's in a lot of different POV because there wasn't a lot of ExB in it… but a lot of Emmett, Jasper and Jacob…

Okay, so my dream wasn't exactly this descriptive, but the basic idea is the same. Jazz and Em are at a pet store when Jazz tells him it would be funny if they launched a goldfish at Jacob's head. They do that, and when Jake gets pissed, Emmett blames it on Jasper, saying it was his idea.

Summary:

Vampires just don't launch goldfishes from toasters at werewolves. They just don't.

Jasper POV

Emmett and I went to a pet store one day (don't ask me what we were doing there, I honestly don't know,) and we were looking at all of the different types fish when a very random idea pops into my head and I voice it before even thinking of who I was with at the time.

"You know what would be just hilarious?" I asked Emmett suddenly.

"Nope." He answered distantly, looking at a starfish, and tapping on the glass, causing the poor thing to fall off. "What?"

"If we launched a goldfish at Jacob's head." He looked up when I said 'launch,' his eyes were sparkling by the time I said 'goldfish,' and he was already running over to the goldfished by the time I said 'Jacob.'

I didn't think he'd actually do it! "Emmett!" I yelled as I ran after him. But he had already bought the goldfish, and was skipping –yes, skipping- over to me and showing him off.

"His name is Goldie," He told me. He sounded like a kid who just bought his very first pet. Scratch that, he sounded like Emmett.

"What are you going to do with him?" I asked, exasperated.

"I'm gonna launch him at Jacob's head," he explained as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Duh."

"That's not normal, Emmett. Vampires just don't launch goldfishes at Werewolves' heads. They just don't." I shook my head at him.

"Well, this one does!"

I just stood there, shaking my head at him, for what felt like hours. He was patient most of the time, but, Emmett being Emmett, his patience slowly started to fade after a while. Patting my back and escorting me out of the store, goldfish in hand, he said: "Come on, Emo Dude." And we left, my mouth still hanging wide open. Note to self: Never say anything like around Emmett again.

Emmett POV (Back at home)

Jazzy and I are all sitting in the kitchen for a really long time, trying to think of what we are gonna shoot Goldie out of.

I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, when I see a toaster. It's a cool toaster. Esme bought it a long time ago because it was cool looking toaster. It really looked awesome.

Then it hits me: The Toaster!

I get up, and run over to get the toaster.

"What are you doing?" Emo Dude asks me.

"I found out what I'm shooting Goldie out of!" I yell, and pick up the toaster. "With a few modifications, and some added power, we could shoot Goldie from the toaster and have him hit Jacob right where we want him to!"

Jasper just stares at me, and I realize I just talked all science- y. "Oh," I say, and start modifying the toaster, but I must be making a big noise, because Bella and Edward come down.

This is just the start of it, but what do people think? Two reviews and I'll put up the last bit!