Hi everyone! In one of the sneak peeks for tomorrow's episode 'The One That Got Away' (so excited!) Sam was talking about Oliver was a bastard for trying to trip him up regarding coffee. That kind of got my RB muse thinking, and this story happened twenty minutes later. Anyways, hope you all enjoy!
When Oliver walked - rather, stumbled - into the locker room, Sam couldn't resist commenting on his current state of being.
"Oh, buddy, you look dreadful."
"Thanks. Thanks Sammy. That's real sweet." Oliver shot his best friend a glare that only he could resist withering under as he yanked open his locker.
"Seriously though, what the hell happened to you?"
"Zoe."
"That is way too much guesswork for me. Zoe what, kept you up all night with a romance movie marathon? Had you playing pony to your daughters?"
"Coffee."
"Yeah, you need it buddy. I'll go get some for you."
"No. No, don't get me any. Zoe's on this health food freakout at the moment and caffeine of any kind is off limits."
"Caffeine is off limits?"
"I just said that."
"Ollie, you can't be the bad ass cop that you are without coffee."
"You're not helping the problem."
"Sorry."
"Anyways, it's been two days without so much as a taste of the beautiful mocha liquid and I'm literally dying over here."
"Okay, first off, don't ever wax poetic about coffee again. That's Epstein's job. Second, come on Oliver, two days? Really? Have you no stamina whatsoever?"
"I'd like to see you give up coffee!"
"I could cope without coffee. I have far better stamina than you. In more ways than one."
"Shut the fuck up, Swarek, your sexual conquests long ago lost their appeal for me."
"You're just jealous that I get all the ladies while you have to go home to your, albeit beautiful, wife."
"Married life is wonderful, my friend, there is nothing like it. Also, what ladies? You haven't gotten any since Miss Nurse - Maggie? Margaret?"
"Monica."
"Right, since Miss Nurse Monica realized you had gone from finding scrubs sexy to finding the cop uniform sexy."
"You are a jackass when you're going through withdrawals! Playing the McNally card, that's low, even for a junkie coming off his high."
"Seriously though, you couldn't last a day without coffee."
"Wanna bet?"
"Alright. Sure. Monetary or otherwise?"
"I'm thinking paperwork wise."
"How about paperwork and monetary wise?"
"One - week and hundred?"
"Make it two."
"Two weeks and two hundred? You sure Zoe wouldn't be upset when two hundred suddenly disappears from the Pottery Barn fund?"
"She lets me have my poker spending and I let her have her shopping spending. It's a compromise."
"Okay. Two it is then."
"Shake on it. And temptations are allowed."
"So you can tempt me with whatever you come up with regarding coffee and/or caffeine?"
"Of course. It's not fair any other way."
"Okay. You have yourself a deal."
"You will soon feel my pain, Sammy."
"Alcohol is allowed though?"
"Zoe never said anything specifically about alcohol."
"Penny it is then. After shift?"
"Redo of drinking game with Jerry?"
"Oh, fuck yes!"