Hello everyone!
This is my very first fanfic! It's currently 3 AM, and I wrote this one shot in a few hours, so if it has a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, I apologize! This one-shot is inspired by Sam Smith's, "Stay With Me" hence the title. I hope you enjoy it!
Arihanna
Warning: This one shot contains LEMON scenes, so that's why it's rated M! This is my first time writing lemon scenes so I'm sorry if it's bad, haha. Minors, please turn back around!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sailor Moon! Everyone knows who does!
Stay With Me
Arihanna
Silence hung in the air as Usagi and Mamoru stood in front of the doorway of their apartment. He noticed that her eyes were red and swollen when she straightened the collar on his shirt. "Have you been crying?" he gently asked as he cupped her cheek.
Usagi immediately looked down and shook her head. "Iie."
She lied to him. Again.
It was becoming a routine for her. Every lie rolled off her tongue so easily, but Mamoru never questioned her because he didn't want to instigate a fight. He didn't want it to seem like he was interrogating her either. Usagi had been distant with him and he didn't want to make matters worse. She hated it when he asked her questions, especially if it had any relation to her wellbeing.
Every morning, right before Mamoru would leave for work at the clinic, the young married couple would always stand in front of the doorway to kiss each other goodbye.
At least, that's how it used to be.
Before they would kiss each other goodbye, she'd straighten out the crooked collar on his polo to ensure that his appearance was up to par. Or if he was wearing a button up, she'd close one of the buttons if he accidentally missed one. Usagi would never allow him to leave their apartment if his appearance wasn't top notch. He was one of the most respected and sought out doctor's in the medical field, and she wanted him to look like his life was altogether.
But he was far from it.
Usagi's distance was killing him. Sometimes he would purposely miss a button on his shirt in the morning so that she would unintentionally touch the front of his body. It was their only form of physical contact during the entire day, and Mamoru yearned for her touch more than anything. Before their distance ensued, they would laugh together and she would make fun of him if he missed a button on his shirt. She would say things like, "You're a doctor and you don't even know how to properly put on a shirt!" but now, things have changed.
Now, she would silently button up his shirt with her cold bare hands. Usagi was always eager to choose his attire every morning, but now it seemed like a tedious task. However, she continued to go along with it without complaint. She hardly showed any emotion around him either. It was almost as if she possessed a lifeless aura, and it made Mamoru miss her vivaciousness and her love. Every time he brought up the topic of her changing attitude and character, a heated argument would always arise. So he stopped bringing it up. He didn't want their fights to be their only form of communication.
When he used to come home early from work, he would always attempt to hug her, but she would stiffen and not hug him back. There were days where he'd lean down to kiss her, but she would immediately turn her head so that he would kiss her cheek instead. Their intimacy was not intact and it was worrying him. Now he works long hours to avoid the tension in their apartment.
"Have a good day at work." She smiled weakly. It was her first time ever saying something like that in the morning and it completely took him off guard. He nodded. He reached for the doorknob and opened the door.
As he walked out, he looked back to see her standing there with her hands clasped together. "I love you, Usako."
He was hoping to hear her reciprocate those three words, but all she did was nod. He couldn't remember the last time she said she loved him, but all he knew was that he desperately needed to hear it.
"So… when are you going to tell me what's upsetting you?" Motoki had never seen him so miserable before.
Mamoru looked up from his papers and found his ash-blond friend standing before him. He didn't hear Motoki come into his office because he was so entangled in his thoughts.
Mamoru furrowed his eyebrows together. "Why would you think that I'm upset?"
Motoki burst out in laughter and shook his head violently. Both men graduated from the same medical school and after gaining some years of experience at their local hospital, they both agreed to become partners and opened up their own clinic.
"C'mon Mamoru, you're like a brother to me. Of course I can tell when something is bothering you."
It was almost like Motoki knew every aspect of him. Mamoru could pretend that he was having the best day of his life, and anyone would simply buy his act. But not Motoki. He would always notice if he was putting up a front.
Mamoru quickly ran a hand through his hair. Damn Motoki for never missing a thing. "I'm fine," he mumbled. "Nothing's wrong."
Motoki gave him a look that signaled that he should quit while he was ahead. Feeling defeated, Mamoru exhaled loudly and stood up from his desk. There was no point in lying to his best friend since he could see right through him.
"I don't know what to do, Motoki. I don't think Usako wants to be with me anymore." He said, his voice straining. It wasn't until he got up from his desk that it looked like Mamoru hadn't slept for several days.
Motoki was completely shocked. He was not expecting Mamoru to make that kind of confession. If anything, Motoki thought that he was going to talk about how stressful work had been, but he never thought he would talk about Usagi. He hardly ever brought her up in conversations even though Motoki was his closest friend. He was very private about their marriage.
"What? Why would you think that?"
Mamoru sighed. "It's a really long story." He was hoping that Motoki would drop the conversation but of course, he didn't let Mamoru off the hook.
Motoki crossed his arms. "Try me."
Mamoru sighed deeply again and began to pace around his office. "She's been completely distant with me, and she hardly talks to me anymore. And on top of that, I've been working late at the office and I don't think she cares."
Mamoru's and Usagi's relationship was envied by many, and Motoki couldn't comprehend that the most admirable couple was slowly disintegrating.
"I'm so lost… I don't know what to do." At this point, tears began to prickle at the back of his eyes and he forced himself not to cry in front of his best friend.
Motoki placed his hand on Mamoru's shoulder. "I appreciate that you're telling me all this, but I think it's best if Usagi hears it from you."
Mamoru looked up at him. "Motoki, I've tried to talk to her. Every time I ask her questions or say things like, 'we need to talk', she avoids me like the plague and it takes a really long time for things to get back to normal."
Motoki placed his hands in his pockets. "Have you guys tried marriage counselling?"
Mamoru shook his head in disbelief. "She won't even talk to me, what makes you think she'll talk to a marriage counselor?"
"I don't know, maybe a different atmosphere will get her to talk."
Mamoru leaned his back against the nearest wall and tilted his backwards. He never would've imagined that their marriage would need to be overlooked by a marriage counsellor. He was determined to fix their marriage, and if marriage counselling would solve their problems then he would be more than happy to visit a counsellor.
"I guess I'll bring it up to her tonight."
He didn't know what he had done to make her want distance between them. He wanted the void between them to vanish, but he didn't know how to bridge the gap. Every time Mamoru would touch her, he would feel her cringing beneath his fingertips, and it stung his heart like a thousand knives. Since then, he never tried to touch her even though he desired her more than ever. Maybe it was a good thing that he always worked late. Sometimes she wouldn't be awake when he got home since he worked such late hours. He craved sleep, but not as much as he craved his wife, Usagi.
It was one o'clock A.M. when Mamoru entered their apartment. He slipped off his shoes and noticed that the TV in their living room was still on. He looked across the TV and found her lying sideways, sleeping on the couch. She had been watching, "The Notebook" which was one of her favorite movies. He quietly placed his coat on the coat rack and slowly moved closer to her. He noticed her tear stained cheeks from the TV's glow. He turned it off and kneeled down in front of her.
"She had been crying again…" he whispered while caressing her cheek. The poor girl had cried herself to sleep. He wasn't going to let her sleep alone on the couch tonight. He wanted to be with her, on the bed they were supposed to share.
Mamoru carried her to their room. Tonight he completely disregarded the distance between them. When they got married, he promised her that he would be by her side for as long as he lived. It meant everything to him to keep that promise.
He glanced down at her as she rested her head in the crook of his neck. He had just realized that her body was getting lighter, and it worried him. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her eat a full meal. Mamoru desperately wanted Usagi to talk to him about what had been going on in her life. He sensed that she was depressed but he couldn't figure out why, and it didn't help that she didn't tell him.
He laid her down gently on the bed. He kissed her lips softly for the first time in what felt like ages. She stirred when she felt his lips on hers.
As he stood up and walked towards the door, he heard her whisper, "Please, stay with me…"
Mamoru froze. He thought she was talking in her sleep, but when he turned around, he saw that she was staring into his deep azure eyes. He had been longing to hear those words from her. It took him awhile to answer, but he said, "I'm not going anywhere."
He sat down on the edge of their bed and held her hand. He slowly bent down and kissed her, and this time, she kissed him backwith real passion. It suddenly felt like their dying love had finally restored. He ended the kiss as his chest heaved, needing oxygen.
"Tell me you love me," He begged. He needed to hear those words from her. Mamoru felt her tense. It was like he was asking her for something that was impossible for her to do.
"Please… Usako…" he begged again, but Usagi just laid there, staring into his desperate cobalt eyes. She knew he was hurting just as much as she was, but Mamoru couldn't take her silence any longer.
"So, that's it then? That's your answer?" Feeling defeated, he shook his head and immediately stood up. Before he could walk away, Usagi swiftly grabbed his hand, which caused him to stop in his footsteps.
"It's not that I don't love you, I really do... but if I say those words, it won't solve all of the tension that we built between us." She whispered. Mamoru was somewhat relieved that she noticed that there was tension between them.
"Then tell me, how do we fix it?" his voice was hoarse. He wanted her to tell him that she loved him so badly, but Usagi was right. Even if she did say it, does that mean that all of their past problems meant nothing then? No, it wouldn't. Mamoru suddenly thought about Motoki's suggestion on marriage counseling, but he didn't think it was a good time to bring it up. He wanted to hear what she had to say first.
She sat up in a sitting position and stood up on the floor. She weakly wrapped her arms around his neck and gently pulled him down to kiss his lips.
"Make love to me." She whispered in demand.
Mamoru stared at her with confusion all over his face. "Usako, you won't tell me you love me but you want me to make love to you? How does that make sense?"
He wanted to keep protesting but before he could say anything to change her mind, she quickly kissed him again, but this time she gave him everything she had. He couldn't resist and he kissed her back with so much intensity.
Mamoru sighed. "Usako… are you sure—"
"Shh…" she whispered tenderly. He nodded silently and cupped her cheek. This time, he kissed her hungrily as if he'd lose her forever. She responded by slowly unbuttoning his damned shirt. He quickly took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He slid off the straps of her white silky nightgown and let it create a pool around her. He kissed her behind her ear and down to her neck. Her breathing was becoming shorter and shorter. He gently laid her back down on their bed as he continued to lay sweet kisses on her collarbone, to the middle of her breasts. She shivered whenever he did that, and it reassured him that his touch still had quite an affect on her.
"I miss kissing you…" he whispered. When he kissed her underneath her breast, she immediately arched her back allowing him to cup both of her breasts.
Usagi gently threaded her hands into Mamoru's raven hair. His kisses were going from the middle of her stomach to the entrance of her most private area. He kissed her between her thighs and she moaned loudly as soon as she felt his tongue reach her center.
"Mamo-chan!" she breathed ardently. That nickname almost became foreign to him, but he was glad to hear it again. She was becoming resistant to his touch when he felt her knees clasped together, but Mamoru placed his strong hands on her thighs to hold her down.
The sight of her pleasured body reaching her climax was forever inscribed in his memory.
After enduring the first orgasm she had experienced in what seemed like forever, she wasted no time in undressing Mamoru. She immediately switched her position and laid him down on his back as she straddled herself on top of him.
"You're so beautiful, Usako…" he said as he was examining her bare naked body in all of its heavenly glory. Mamoru closed his eyes when he felt trails of butterfly kisses along his jawline and down to his chest. He kept asking himself how he could have deserved such a rare woman like Usagi.
His thoughts were immediately interrupted when he felt her hands unzip his zipper. Mamoru couldn't tell if she was nervous but even if she was, she was hiding it very well. She slipped his pants and boxers off and threw them to the ground. Before she could do anything else, Mamoru pulled her to him. "Let's take it slow tonight…" He took her lips in an ardent kiss and gently laid her down beneath him. He continued to kiss her but she quickly broke the kiss. She didn't want to waste anymore time.
"Mamo-chan… I need you, right now." He could tell that she was already getting impatient. She arched her back again. He always loved it when she did that. It had been a long time since they were intimate and it drove him crazy. Mamoru nodded and slowly entered her.
It was almost as if she were a virgin again. It slightly stung when he entered her, making her whimper out in pain. He moved gently inside her as he kissed her slowly. Usagi bit his bottom lip, causing him to groan out loudly. When she moaned, he thrust himself into her deeper, and harder. He wrapped his arms around her in a protective embrace, never wanting to let her go. He took advantage of the squeezing walls around his member and thrust into her core with more passion. She cried out in pleasure and innocently asked for more, and more.
When the sun rose, they laid in each other's embrace, disregarding the current hour. Even though they had made love in a variety of ways, her heart was still in pain, and so was his. They knew that it was finally time to discuss what went wrong between them, and what influenced the distance. Mamoru told her that he would call in sick so they could talk. She refused, and it suddenly felt like things went back to the way it was before, and Mamoru didn't like it.
She never forgot the look on his face when she told him that she was leaving him. He begged her to stay to talk about what went wrong. He told her that he would never leave her and that he would do anything to save their marriage. He was completely in love with her, and it hurt him that she took his love so lightly.
He kept telling her that he loved her with every fiber of his being, but she wouldn't listen. Their words turned into a heated argument, one that didn't make any sense to him. He was so angry with her because he felt like she used him for pleasure when that wasn't the case. He constantly asked her if there was someone else in her life, but she kept denying it. She repeatedly reassured him that she would always love him, except that it didn't feel right at the moment. She needed to figure things out on her own, and the tension between them wasn't fair for either of them to go home to. She didn't want to tell him that she felt like she didn't deserve him. He hated it when she said that, because he felt the exact same way about her. She was angry with him because he wasn't making an effort to register what she was saying. After all that they've endured, he believed that everything was a lie. Their marriage… their love for each other… everything.
He begged and pleaded with everything he had but it was no use. Once Usagi made up her mind, there was no going back. She cried when she told him that he'll understand her decision for leaving him one day, and right now it would be for the best. As much as he begged and pleaded for her to stay, he knew that he didn't have the right to make someone stay with him.
He never forgot the way she left him. Her beautiful sweet eyes from last night returned to cold and lifeless. As she headed towards the door, he turned her around and pushed her hard against the door, kissing her as if his life depended on it. That last kiss meant everything to him. He never knew that he was capable of loving someone so hard, and he never knew that fate would come down to this.
Mamoru called in sick that day, and Motoki completely understood. He felt like his world ended as soon as the love of his life walked through the door. His heartache was going to be the death of him, and he didn't know how to recover from it. But he still had hope, knowing that he could still have a chance with her. The only other thing that was sustaining him was his undying affection for her, rather than the moments that broke them apart. If she wasn't going to be with him physically, at least the memories of the love they once shared will always stay with him forever.
So…? What did you think?!
I know that there are probably a lot of plot holes and you want to kill me, lol, but the reason I didn't expose Usagi's reason as to why she was depressed is because I want you (the readers) to come up with her reasoning on your own. I think it makes things more mysterious that way.
Anyway, let me know if you liked it and I will post more stories! If you have time, please review! :)
Arihanna
