No Need
By Ryuuen
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Ken/Omi), language, somewhat dark themes.
A/N: This is a fic written for Weiss Timbitz's fanfiction contest. I'll write several, and choose one in May.. I'll let you know which one. It's a songfic with the song "Diamonds Are Forever" by Shirley Bassey. Please let me know what you think!
No Need
-----------
~"Diamonds are forever; they are all I need to please me, they can stimulate and tease me, they won't leave in the night, I've no fear they might desert me."~
"I'm alone again." The voice, distant in my ear, brings me back to awareness. I curse softly, clenching my fist around the beautiful stone in the palm of my left hand. I hope I can get out as silently as I got in.
My eyes narrow, and I back towards the still-open window, and quietly slip out of it, my footsteps padded by the night-darkened grass beneath my feet. A smile comes to my lips as I wonder, briefly, what Ken-kun and the others would think if they knew of my nighttime activities. Ken-kun would be shocked, dismayed.. Yohji-kun would be angry and dissappointed.. Aya-kun.. Aya-kun would be a little frustrated, probably lecture me on how if I get caught WeiB will be in serious trouble, but other than that I can't really picture him reacting much. Then again, this being Aya-kun, after all... one never knows.
By the time I have climbed back through my bedroom window, the jagged edge of the stone in my hand has drawn blood. I allow myself a quiet curse for my injured hand, dropping the gem on the bed like it belongs there, it's edge reddened by my blood. I search around for a Band-Aid and, finding one in a drawer, put it over the cut. Good thing it wasn't deep, or I'd have some explaining to do in the morning.
My eyes drop back to the gem on it's golden chain.
It's true what they say.. diamonds are a person's best friend.
~"Diamonds are forever; hold one up and caress it, touch it, stroke it, and undress it, I can see every part, nothing hides in the heart to hurt me."~
"Omi.. where did these come from?" The demanding brown eyes ask, his hands full of my precious gems, his lips turned decidedly downwards in a frown. "Where did you get these?"
I don't want to answer. I look down, suddenly ashamed of myself, though at the same time wondering, why should I feel sorry about it? I need those more than those people did. I feel a light blush stain my cheeks, but then I look up again, letting the part of me that knows I did no wrong take over, feeling myself retreat into a shell, avoiding the cruel anger of others. Yohji-kun,
who had been walking down the hall, has paused to see what's going on, his green eyes flickering from me to him, and back again, confused.
"They're all I have." I tell him, then, seeing his confused look, add, "all I want. Don't make me give them back, please.."
I sound like a child, but I don't care. I can't give up the only thing I have ever found that I can love without being hurt...
"Omi... what do you mean?" He asks, looking at me like I'm some kind of alien. "Did you steal these?"
Now his eyes are accusing. I want to shrink back from the twin expressions of surprise and dismay on his and Yohji-kun's faces, but I don't. Can't.
"Ken-kun..." I whisper without answering, letting my eyes close. "I can't..."
I don't see his reaction, but feel his hand rest on my shoulder, and I know that if I open my eyes I'll see pity in his brown eyes. I don't open my eyes.
~"I don't need love, for what good will love do me? Diamonds never lie to me, for when love's gone, they'll luster on."~
"Omi, talk to me, please.." I shut my eyes tight against the pleading voice, not wanting to hear them, not wanting to see him. I don't want that pity, that sympathy, that I know is in their gaze. "Omi..."
"They're all I have.." I whisper hoarsely, trying to make him understand. "All I have that won't.. that won't hurt me in the end.."
"What do you mean?" Ken-kun is asking, his hand still on my shoulder. Yohji-kun left; I guess he thought it wasn't any of his business. He was right, but it's none of Ken-kun's business either. Although.. I do want him to understand.
"The diamonds.." I wave my hand weakly to the pile of shining jewelry abandoned on the bed, "..are all I have.. that I can love, without getting hurt.. because they can't lie to me.. they can't leave me all alone.."
Opening my eyes, I see surprise, disbelief, and.. something I don't know what is, in his eyes. I feel tears stinging my eyes, and wonder why. I haven't cried in so long... It's an unfamiliar feeling.
"Omi..." His voice is hoarse, as though he, too, is holding back tears. Maybe he is. I can't tell, I've never seen Ken-kun cry before. "That's not true, Omi.."
"Yes it is." I reply, feeling the hot tears run down my face, burning salty trails on my cheeks.
"Omi.. you have us.." Ken-kun says. "You have us.. we would never hurt you."
He puts his arms around me, and I instinctively bury my head in his shoulder, my sobs making me almost deaf, so I barely hear his next words:
"..You have me, too.."
~"Diamonds are forever; sparkling around my little finger. Unlike men, diamonds linger; men are mortals who are not worth going to your grave for."~
"You'll only hurt me, too, like everyone else.. you'll only hurt me too.." I realize that I'm sobbing this, over and over like a mantra. Voicing my thoughts, my feelings, like I never have before. Ken-kun is whispering reassuring words to me, letting me cry in his arms. I feel... safe, warm, like I never have before. It's a nice feeling.
When finally I stop crying, Ken-kun backs slightly away from me, his hands on my shoulders as he looks at me sternly, that undefinable emotion still in his eyes.
"Omi.. we would never hurt you.. any of us." He says, watching me for my reaction. I simply watch him. "I would never hurt you."
Hearing his words, I freeze, and he steps forward, closing the gap between us. He leans his head down to me, and somehow I'm still frozen there when our lips meet, and heat runs through my body. I wonder if my ice-heart is beginning to melt with this warmth.
"I love you." He whispers. Such damning words, such passionate words. A thrill runs through me; I almost want to say the words back, but I can't. I know that it will be a long time until I can say those words to anyone, even Ken-kun.
"Ken-kun.." My voice is a whisper, breathless. I can hear his heartbeat from where I'm standing, so close to him that we're touching. I'm relieved to find that it is just as fast as mine. I feel the tears coming back, and he reaches out to hold me.
"Shhh.." He's saying softly, his voice filled with reassurance as I once again close my eyes against his chest, letting him comfort me. "Shhh.. it's alright.. it's going to be alright.."
And for once I believe him.
~"I don't need love, for what good will love do me? Diamonds never lie to me, for when love's gone, they'll luster on."~
Slowly, the tiny twinkles of light go out, tiny splashes the only marks of their existance. The tears that fall from my eyes join them. I look up at Ken, who is smiling at me, his arm around me as though to tell me that I'm alright, this is right, I should do this. I give him a shaky smile of my own, then look back to the water. My beautiful diamonds are gone, but now I have a greater treasure.
They say diamonds are forever. But love is forever as well.
~"Diamonds are forever, forever, forever. Diamonds are forever, forever, forever. Forever and ever..."~
~owari~
By Ryuuen
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Ken/Omi), language, somewhat dark themes.
A/N: This is a fic written for Weiss Timbitz's fanfiction contest. I'll write several, and choose one in May.. I'll let you know which one. It's a songfic with the song "Diamonds Are Forever" by Shirley Bassey. Please let me know what you think!
No Need
-----------
~"Diamonds are forever; they are all I need to please me, they can stimulate and tease me, they won't leave in the night, I've no fear they might desert me."~
"I'm alone again." The voice, distant in my ear, brings me back to awareness. I curse softly, clenching my fist around the beautiful stone in the palm of my left hand. I hope I can get out as silently as I got in.
My eyes narrow, and I back towards the still-open window, and quietly slip out of it, my footsteps padded by the night-darkened grass beneath my feet. A smile comes to my lips as I wonder, briefly, what Ken-kun and the others would think if they knew of my nighttime activities. Ken-kun would be shocked, dismayed.. Yohji-kun would be angry and dissappointed.. Aya-kun.. Aya-kun would be a little frustrated, probably lecture me on how if I get caught WeiB will be in serious trouble, but other than that I can't really picture him reacting much. Then again, this being Aya-kun, after all... one never knows.
By the time I have climbed back through my bedroom window, the jagged edge of the stone in my hand has drawn blood. I allow myself a quiet curse for my injured hand, dropping the gem on the bed like it belongs there, it's edge reddened by my blood. I search around for a Band-Aid and, finding one in a drawer, put it over the cut. Good thing it wasn't deep, or I'd have some explaining to do in the morning.
My eyes drop back to the gem on it's golden chain.
It's true what they say.. diamonds are a person's best friend.
~"Diamonds are forever; hold one up and caress it, touch it, stroke it, and undress it, I can see every part, nothing hides in the heart to hurt me."~
"Omi.. where did these come from?" The demanding brown eyes ask, his hands full of my precious gems, his lips turned decidedly downwards in a frown. "Where did you get these?"
I don't want to answer. I look down, suddenly ashamed of myself, though at the same time wondering, why should I feel sorry about it? I need those more than those people did. I feel a light blush stain my cheeks, but then I look up again, letting the part of me that knows I did no wrong take over, feeling myself retreat into a shell, avoiding the cruel anger of others. Yohji-kun,
who had been walking down the hall, has paused to see what's going on, his green eyes flickering from me to him, and back again, confused.
"They're all I have." I tell him, then, seeing his confused look, add, "all I want. Don't make me give them back, please.."
I sound like a child, but I don't care. I can't give up the only thing I have ever found that I can love without being hurt...
"Omi... what do you mean?" He asks, looking at me like I'm some kind of alien. "Did you steal these?"
Now his eyes are accusing. I want to shrink back from the twin expressions of surprise and dismay on his and Yohji-kun's faces, but I don't. Can't.
"Ken-kun..." I whisper without answering, letting my eyes close. "I can't..."
I don't see his reaction, but feel his hand rest on my shoulder, and I know that if I open my eyes I'll see pity in his brown eyes. I don't open my eyes.
~"I don't need love, for what good will love do me? Diamonds never lie to me, for when love's gone, they'll luster on."~
"Omi, talk to me, please.." I shut my eyes tight against the pleading voice, not wanting to hear them, not wanting to see him. I don't want that pity, that sympathy, that I know is in their gaze. "Omi..."
"They're all I have.." I whisper hoarsely, trying to make him understand. "All I have that won't.. that won't hurt me in the end.."
"What do you mean?" Ken-kun is asking, his hand still on my shoulder. Yohji-kun left; I guess he thought it wasn't any of his business. He was right, but it's none of Ken-kun's business either. Although.. I do want him to understand.
"The diamonds.." I wave my hand weakly to the pile of shining jewelry abandoned on the bed, "..are all I have.. that I can love, without getting hurt.. because they can't lie to me.. they can't leave me all alone.."
Opening my eyes, I see surprise, disbelief, and.. something I don't know what is, in his eyes. I feel tears stinging my eyes, and wonder why. I haven't cried in so long... It's an unfamiliar feeling.
"Omi..." His voice is hoarse, as though he, too, is holding back tears. Maybe he is. I can't tell, I've never seen Ken-kun cry before. "That's not true, Omi.."
"Yes it is." I reply, feeling the hot tears run down my face, burning salty trails on my cheeks.
"Omi.. you have us.." Ken-kun says. "You have us.. we would never hurt you."
He puts his arms around me, and I instinctively bury my head in his shoulder, my sobs making me almost deaf, so I barely hear his next words:
"..You have me, too.."
~"Diamonds are forever; sparkling around my little finger. Unlike men, diamonds linger; men are mortals who are not worth going to your grave for."~
"You'll only hurt me, too, like everyone else.. you'll only hurt me too.." I realize that I'm sobbing this, over and over like a mantra. Voicing my thoughts, my feelings, like I never have before. Ken-kun is whispering reassuring words to me, letting me cry in his arms. I feel... safe, warm, like I never have before. It's a nice feeling.
When finally I stop crying, Ken-kun backs slightly away from me, his hands on my shoulders as he looks at me sternly, that undefinable emotion still in his eyes.
"Omi.. we would never hurt you.. any of us." He says, watching me for my reaction. I simply watch him. "I would never hurt you."
Hearing his words, I freeze, and he steps forward, closing the gap between us. He leans his head down to me, and somehow I'm still frozen there when our lips meet, and heat runs through my body. I wonder if my ice-heart is beginning to melt with this warmth.
"I love you." He whispers. Such damning words, such passionate words. A thrill runs through me; I almost want to say the words back, but I can't. I know that it will be a long time until I can say those words to anyone, even Ken-kun.
"Ken-kun.." My voice is a whisper, breathless. I can hear his heartbeat from where I'm standing, so close to him that we're touching. I'm relieved to find that it is just as fast as mine. I feel the tears coming back, and he reaches out to hold me.
"Shhh.." He's saying softly, his voice filled with reassurance as I once again close my eyes against his chest, letting him comfort me. "Shhh.. it's alright.. it's going to be alright.."
And for once I believe him.
~"I don't need love, for what good will love do me? Diamonds never lie to me, for when love's gone, they'll luster on."~
Slowly, the tiny twinkles of light go out, tiny splashes the only marks of their existance. The tears that fall from my eyes join them. I look up at Ken, who is smiling at me, his arm around me as though to tell me that I'm alright, this is right, I should do this. I give him a shaky smile of my own, then look back to the water. My beautiful diamonds are gone, but now I have a greater treasure.
They say diamonds are forever. But love is forever as well.
~"Diamonds are forever, forever, forever. Diamonds are forever, forever, forever. Forever and ever..."~
~owari~