Welcome to this Halloween special fic I thought up last night. Now, since it's a short fic (or "one-shot", if you prefer), I'd like to remind you that it's non-canon. In other words, it's got nothing to do with my Diamond City Chronicles series. Well, come to think of it, I might do some short fics another time. To be honest, I've written plenty of short fics to post on DeviantART, but the reason I've been holding back from posting them here is because my current progress on the DCC series (as of Halloween 2012, so my apologies in advance) deemed it to be too early to do so.
Other than that, enjoy the WarioWare/Bomberman fanfic!
DISCLAIMER: WarioWare Inc. is owned by Nintendo; Bomberman still remains a property of Hudson Soft, even though Konami already absorbed the company; the Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer (no lie). All other characters, including the ones the following Halloween costumes are based upon, are properties of their respective owners.
-Wario's Halloween Story-
One night, at WarioWare Inc., Wario was sitting on a sofa in front of his TV, holding a bubble pipe (commonly a fake tobacco pipe) in his hand. He had something of interest to say, despite the lack of an audience in his living room. Therefore, he took the liberty of recording a footage of himself telling a story on film, so that his friends - mostly us - would see it.
"Good evening, and welcome to Wario's Amazing Stories! It was a dark, but thankfully not a stormy night in Diamond City, where everyone celebrated Halloween by going trick-or-treating. Long story short, 9-Volt and 18-Volt went as Mario and Luigi; Kat and Ana dressed up like Blossom and Bubbles of the Powerpuff Girls. Even Mona got in the act by going as Princess Peach. Yeah, all my sla-I mean, associates, are havin' a good time, so I can't blame them. It is Halloween, after all."
Wario paused for a moment to blow a few soap bubbles from his bubble pipe. "But what of Aaron, Ami, Bill, and Lance? Well, you see, they actually attended a Halloween costume party in their respective costumes. Aaron dressed like Batman, Ami's Pretty Bomber, Bill attended as the Terminator (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger back in his heyday), and surprise surprise: Lance dressed like Rocky Balboa. Oh, and if you're wondering about Yumi since she and Ami are part of Puffy AmiYumi: yeah, she went with them, too...dressed up as Catwoman!"
He blew a couple more soap bubbles from his pipe to emphasize the mood of his short film. "But ohhh boy, have I got a Halloween story for you! It happened the very night before Halloween this year, where Waluigi, Billy, Sid, and I took a Warp Pipe to Planet Bomber. For those who have been under a rock lately or who-knows-what, the planet is indeed Cheerful White, Cool Black, and Cute Pink's homeworld. Yeah, it's similar to the world we all live in, but anyway, prepare to be amazed as I am about to tell you the story of..."
WARIO'S P.O.V.
THE CURSE OF THE DARK-HARDS! ! !
No, not that "Dark Heart" guy from one of the earlier Care Bears movies. I'm talkin' about a crazy-ass fanbase that actually exists on Planet Bomber...one that's similar - if not TOO similar - to that of one other fanbase that dwells on our planet. Y'know, fans of a novel series that houses a bunch of generic "vampires" that "sparkle" under the sunlight? ...Well anyways, enough reminiscing. Let's-a get this over with.
You see, the reason my three buddies and I went to Planet Bomber for a "visit" was because Billy and Sid's friend, Dandelion Bomber (who happens to be a Bomber-girl at their age), insisted that we go with her because apparently, a Bomberman-themed vampire-romance novel series is all the rage amongst teenaged Bomberwomen on Planet Bomber every October. Although it's good to see that not all the girls are madly in love with said series (or in other words, they think it's boring, which is true), there are some who are crazy over it. By the way, the series itself is called Dark-Light Trilogy, which is obviously three novels long. Vampires sparkling...pah!
Oh, but it gets worse, ladies and gentlemen: there's also film adaptations of that series - surprise, surprise - every October as well. Although there already had been three novels so far, only the first one had shown up in theaters. The one that Dandelion Bomber wanted me and my buds to see is actually based on the second novel of the Dark-Light Trilogy series. But, as soon as Waluigi and I went in to see it in person...everything went straight to hell for us both! We knew by then how Billy and Sid must've felt.
Okay, so this series is apparently about some generic Mary Sue named Bella Bomber, who is in reality a...how'd the Nostalgia Critic put it one time...a dumbass-in-distress. Long story short, she's madly in love with a sparkly vampire named Nelluc Bomb-ula. She goes through all these extreme lengths and crap just so they would get together and eventually marry each other in the end...blah, I don't really give a shroom. I'm usually asleep at this point. We just couldn't take the madness anymore and ran off, saying that this movie sucked balls. Now, I know you're not supposed to do that kind of stuff at any movie in real life, but in this case, I'll make an exception!
But just then, the army of Dark-Light Trilogy fangirls, who we've dubbed as the Dark-hards (or "Dark-tards", if you prefer), got really mad and started chasing after us! They threw a freakin' barrage of cartoon bombs around, in hopes of blasting us to Kingdom Come! No matter how hard we tried to cool down a rather hot quarrel, we were no match for their bombs! We kept getting blown up from left to right, for Pete's sakes! I mean, seriously, what is up with their obsession over shallow, generic "sparkly" vampires like Nelluc Bomb-ula?! He's just a dumbass fictional character like Bella Bomber and the rest of the cast are! They're not real, but nooo! Dandelion Bomber and the fangirls insist that they're real! BLAH!
Thankfully, though, the Bomber-cops came by and saved our asses by detaining every last Dark-tard. It sure was a huge-ass struggle, but they helped us get 'em sent to juvie. Strangely, Dandelion Bomber was nowhere to be seen, even when the cops arrived.
Those who survived to tell the tale have heard stories, in which the Dark-Light Trilogy series possessed uncanny powers, said to be the main source for the fangirls' unhealthy obsession. Waluigi, Billy, Sid, and I were gonna crack the case by the end of Halloween, but unfortunately, we're too pooped from the scuffle to do so, for now.
But the good thing is: we're all safe and sound...but who knows for how long?
THE END
END P.O.V.
"...And that was the story I survived to tell. Me, Waluigi, Billy, and Sid." Wario finished up by blowing two more bubbles from his bubble pipe, before Waluigi, Billy, and Sid walked by.
Waluigi was the first to speak up. "I guess there's one lesson we've learned up to this night."
"Don't ever say anything bad about the Dark-Light Trilogy novels and/or movies," said Billy. "The fangirls don't screw around."
"In other words," added Sid, "be safe or be pelted with cartoon bombs."
Suddenly, Dandelion Bomber broke in, her behavior being insane like a deranged clown. "That's right, guys! You NEVER EVER EVER EVER say bad stuff about Dark-Light Trilogy for any reason whatsoever, cuz I AM BELLA BOMBER! And I'm gonna BOMB you, Dorkio-Ware twerps!"
The Wario Bros. and their two fraternity brothers, still scarred from last night's incident, flinched and got on their knees. "But you're Dandelion Bomber!" exclaimed Billy, scared of the evil look on his friend's face. "You've gotta stop this!"
"Please!" cried Sid. "Your Omnipotence! Have mercy!"
"After you've apologized to me AND all of the other Bomber-girls that love Dark-Light Trilogy, then we can talk about mercy!" Dandelion Bomber paused her demand to hyper-ventilate, retaining her insane smile.
Wario, on the other hand, begged for mercy some more. "Okay, okay, we're sorry! We're super-dee-duper sorry for saying all the evilest of evil things about Dark-Light Trilogy, especially Bella Bomber and Nelluc Bomb-ula! They're extremely likable, interesting, and destined to marry in the end!"
"Pleeeeeeeease don't blow us up!" whined Waluigi, fighting hard to prevent tears from coming out of his eyes.
Dandelion Bomber did not stop her hostile act. "Hmph. Kiss my bomb." She got out an unlit cartoon bomb, kisses it, and held it out to Wario and the others.
Billy and Sid became flabbergasted as to what their Bomber-pal just did. "Oh, come on! Bombs aren't for kissing!"
"Every decent-minded Bomberman and/or woman would know better than that."
"Ahh!" she cut them off. "KISS. MY. BOMB. Now kiss it, as if it were my very own lucky beach ball I bought just for you!"
Wario gave in to her demand, and sighed painfully, "Alright, already, just stay calm...geez, no need to be pushy about it." He took turns with Waluigi, Billy, and Sid, kissing Dandelion Bomber's bomb. As soon as they were done, she dropped her insane look and smiled gleefully at them.
"YAAAAAAY! C'mere, you!" She put down her bomb, and planted some sloppy kisses on the guys' cheeks, and eventually hugged Billy and Sid tightly. "You're my bestest friends in the whole wide world!"
"Uh...yes," said Billy, "that's very lovely, Dandelion..."
Sid tried to speak up due to being squished by her bear hug. "...Okay, you're kinda crushing us a bit."
A moment later, the flower-themed Bomber-girl calmed down, and let go of her hold. "Now, how's about we go to that Halloween costume dance party I heard so much about lately?"
As she flashed a friendly wink, Wario, Waluigi, Billy, and Sid smiled, and agreed to go with her, happy that she was back to normal.
THE END
(Ending Credits)
Wario - CHARLES MARTINET
Waluigi - CHARLES MARTINET
Billy - SAM RIEGEL
Sid - FRANK FRANKSON
Dandelion Bomber - LAUREN TOM
[End Credits]
[HAPPY HALLOWEEN!]
And there you have it, folks! Reviews are always appreciated! Oh, and in case you were wondering about Wario's two fraternity brothers (who I made up), I actually got their names, Billy and Sid, from the male counterparts of Poison and Roxy from both the SNES and GBA versions of Final Fight (well, mostly outside of Japan).