Disclaimer: I own nothing...sadly
It was the eyes. Those damned eyes of hers. They were always so expressive. Now, my eyes, they don't hold emotion, but hers...Damn her and her eyes. I won't deny the fact that they were pretty. They're beautiful, captivating, hypnotic, even. I hated her. Yes, I hated her. Not just because of her eyes, but for other reasons. For one thing, she's so damn patient. To everything I say I want to do, her answer is "Wait, love, wait." That's another thing...her little pet names. Granted, I call her things like "pet", "love", "my pet" and "my love", but when she does it, it's so much more annoying.
She's constantly touching me, invading my personal space. No matter what time of day, she'll walk up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders, as if I don't notice. I ignore her, but it still makes me mad. If the woman wasn't so useful, I'd just slit her throat. She's definitely loyal. No denying that..Once, she had somehow, as I was sleeping on the couch, managed to lay next to me, and the next morning when she woke up, I knew she was trying to pretend she was still asleep, but I had felt her breathing change. She then asked me, if I had been awake for hours, why I was still laying there, to which I replied, "When I know, I'll certainly tell you, Mrs. Lovett."
I'd never seen her eyes light up the way they did then. All it took was one simple sentence, one remark, to make her eyes light up to the point where I wanted to take her throat in my hands and apply pressure until the light faded from her damned eyes. I curse the day I met the woman. She's been nothing but a thorn in my side from day one. She'll probably read this and figure everything out. The main thing that bothers me is the way she assumes that I care about her in any way. She's so oblivious that it's just sad. As if I could ever care for her. Can't she take a hint? You would think the way I constantly ignore her would make her back off, but no. That just makes her more persistent.
I have to give her credit though. She's no fool. She is, as the title of this says, eminently practical, and yet appropriate, as always. She's a strong woman. She's never run away when faced with danger or even near-death situations. She's endured more than most have, and it's only made her stronger. Even with all that though, it still doesn't make her any less annoying. The way she constantly chatters on, even if she knows full well I'm not listening...It's enough to make a person insane.