Summary: Sometimes we have to look within the walls of our mind to fully understand something.
Pairing: NarutoxSakura, Implied SasukexSakura
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and if I did, I would be very happy.
Within These Walls
Tapping of footsteps echoed down the empty corridors as the clean gray tiles glistened under her bare feet. Green eyes glanced from one door to the next, trying to find something- something she did not even know.
What was she looking for?
What did it mean to her?
Fire blazed in its torches, illuminating the dark corridor, sending a strange chill down her spine. She felt off, out of place, walking down this corridor alone, searching for that unknown something. She had always hated not knowing, and it made her want to sprint down the hall and force open every door that she passed. She knew, she would find what she wanted eventually, but she wanted eventually to be as fast as soon.
Silence wisped around her.
She hated silence.
It made her uneasy, which she didn't predominantly enjoy it. What she wanted most was to break free, escape this large castle that she was aimlessly walking through, even if she had to jump out the window.
She felt empty, betrayed by someone. She wanted that empty feeling to disappear, fill up with something new. She didn't want to hurt anymore, feel as if she was nothing, but dirt that people walked on.
She had never wanted to feel like this.
She had never thought that she would feel like this.
She was feeling it though, and it felt so real. The pain burned in her chest to a certain extent. It felt cold. She craved warmth and she would find it one way or another. She was sure that she would find it. She always strove toward her goals and accomplished them- all but one, that is.
He had left her, but she would bring him back…
Or something more…
Shaking her head as she approached the end of the hall, she wondered how long she had been walking or how she even came into the castle. She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything except her name and that she was looking for something.
She couldn't remember his face or why he had left her, and for once in her life, she was all right with that. She didn't want to remember who he was or how he betrayed her. All she wanted was to fill up this empty feeling that weighed her chest down.
Was that too much to ask for?
Time drifted around her slowly, eating her from the inside out, slowly driving her to the brink of insanity. She couldn't take this. She wanted out. Moreover, she wanted to find whatever it was and break free.
What was she searching for?
The halls dragged on, weaving and spinning around as if it was a maze, trying to confuse her into becoming lost, but she was determined to find her away around, find a way out. Her eyes rested on the door that was at the end of the hall, waiting for her. She had come to a dead end, but as she approached it more, the temperature around her increased.
She halted and slid her fingers around the doorknob. The room vented warm heat that seemed to tell her to open the door and enter, to make herself at home.
The door wouldn't open though.
Why wasn't this door, which let off warmth, opening? Her heart ached to enter the room. She would give up anything, everything, to enter it. Wasn't that all she needed? Wasn't she told that if you believed in something it would happen? Why wasn't that working now? Was she too pathetic and lost to get what she wanted most, even if she wasn't sure what it was that she wanted?
The metal doorknob was so cold that it burned her fingers, but she refused to pull her hand away. She pulled and turned, but the door wouldn't budge, wouldn't open even an inch. It remained standing, preventing her from stepping inside. It was an obstacle that she could not overcome, at least not yet.
Then again, why did she even try to open the door when she could just force it off its hinges?
Gathering all of her strength into her right hand, she aimed toward the right of the doorknob. She would make sure it opened. She would get what she wanted.
She was a broken record, repeating those same thoughts in her mind over and over again.
She didn't like it.
Nor did she like the door that remained standing, as all her strength was unleashed upon it.
A simple plank of wood stood tall against her and held her in her place.
Collapsing to her knees, she wondered why she was so weak, why she had been degraded to the nothingness that she had been before he had been betrayed. Who had betrayed her? She didn't care anymore. He was nothing to her, just someone to bring back... to where though? Why was she bringing him back?
"Please," she whispered softly.
Please what?
"Please," she whispered again.
Stop saying 'please'.
"Please though... I just want to enter," she whispered placing her palms against the wooden door. "Just this one request, that's all I ask."
You never noticed me. It was always him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean it." What bothered her most was that she didn't know whom she was talking to and why she did feel so sorry. Did she know this person, and just couldn't remember who it was?
It's always been about him. I was pushed to the side, ridiculed, forgotten while everyone watched him, admired him. No one told me why I was hated though, and when someone did, they hated me along with the others.
"I didn't know. I never knew until you told me. Forgive me."
I could never stay angry with you.
Who was she talking to and why was she talking to them? She wanted to know. She craved to know. She would leave the door, the warmth to know.
Then leave the door…
Forcing herself to her feet, she slowly left the warmth, the only warmth in the bitter castle that she had been walking through for who knows how long. Everything seemed to have weighed down on her as she left, but would the voice keep its promise, if it even wanted to consider it a promise.
Creaking caught her attention, forcing her to halt in her spot. She remained frozen for what felt like the longest time, staring at the tile floor below her. Her bare feet burned from the cold.
Reluctantly, she looked over her shoulder at the door. It was opened- darkness engulfing its inner chambers- tempting her to turn around and sprint toward it.
Was it a trap? Did the voice want her to run toward it just so it could slam the door in her face? Would she lose her chance of knowing whom the voice was if she ran back toward the door? Did she want to risk it?
No, she didn't.
It wasn't worth it.
Snapping her head around, she continued to walk forward. She wasn't going to risk it, even if the voice happened to break its promise. It would be worth it in the end, because she would feel better about herself, being able to stay true to a deal, a promise.
She wouldn't run to the room unless she was allowed to go.
She would continue to walk the way she came even if no one spoke to her again.
It would be worth it. She was sure of that. Everything would be worth it in the end, even if she had to make sure of that.
Come back…
"Why?" she whispered.
I don't want you to leave me.
"I don't even know who you are, even if your voice sounds familiar and I feel as if I do know you," she stated.
How did a room filled with darkness, nothingness, give off warmth? Why did it make her feel as if she belonged there, that she would turn around and run into imaginary arms? She wanted to be held, to be with someone who cared, and to never be betrayed again. She wrapped her arms around her body, bowing her head, holding in her tears. It was true; she never wanted to be betrayed, never ever again.
I would never betray you…
"I know," she whispered, slowly turning around to face the dark room. "I trust you, I've always trusted you."
I won't be like him. I'll never be like him; just come back to me as I had always come back to you.
Tears streaming down her cheeks, she sprinted toward the door, arms extended, waiting to embrace someone, someone that she couldn't see, someone that she wasn't even sure if they were there.
The door opened wider and she entered the dark room, clutching nothing. No one was in here; just darkness and bitterness engulfed her.
It felt as if hours had passed, her fingers didn't brush against anything. Why couldn't she find anyone, and where was the warmth that she had sensed, felt, earlier?
Two warm arms slid around her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace. Her nose pressed against his neck in joy. He was there. He had always been there, waiting for her, ready to catch her if she ever fell.
She had always known that, but had been too blind to see it.
Now he was hers and only hers and she wouldn't share him or let him go.
Her fingers ran through his spiky blond hair. She was happy that the hyperactive boy cared about her. He had been one of the only people to care about her.
xxx
All good things disappear. Opening her eyes, her ceiling greeted her. It had been nothing but a dream, but she would make it a reality, now that he had returned to keep his promise to her.
Well, I wrote this in my Creative Writing class so sorry if it bored you. It's basically about opening your eyes to the things that have been sitting in front of you for so long.