Fun
The phone rang in the President's cabin on Air Force One. Charlie answered it as he always did. There were only a handful of people it could possibly be, most of whom were on the plane with them. But he had his suspicions before he picked it up and said, "Air Force One. This is Charlie."
"Hi, Charlie. How ya doin'?"
Charlie couldn't help but smile. "I'm doing fine, Mrs. Bartlet. How are you?"
"A little drunk. Is he available?"
Again, Charlie smiled. This should be interesting. The First Lady, drunk in the Residence, all alone. "If you'll hold for just a moment, m'am. He's finishing up with Leo."
"Oh you tell him to take his time. I'm just getting ready for bed. Alone. My daughters have all left me. My husband has left me. My wine has left me. All I've got are these half a dozen Secret Service agents, and let me tell you, Charlie, they aren't as fun as you."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. You laugh at my jokes. Well, you try not to, but I can tell when you're sneaking a smile. Probably like you are right now."
She was right. He was struggling to keep from laughing. It was her own fault. Didn't she know she got extra chatty when she drank too much?
Mrs. Bartlet just kept on talking. "But all of these guys. And gals. I've got a couple women on my detail. Very capable people, all of them. But my god, when did carrying a gun rob you of a damn sense of humor?"
Across the table, Leo stood up and left the cabin to attend to something or other. The President turned his attention to Charlie and the phone call. "Is that my wife?"
Charlie nodded.
"Great. Let me talk to her. Unless she isn't done lecturing you." The President knew this was probably the case and leaned back, lacing his fingers behind his head.
"Mrs. Bartlet?" Charlie interjected. "The President will speak to you now."
"Oh fine. Get rid of me," she whined mockingly.
Charlie handed the phone to the President and left the cabin to give them some privacy. He knew what was coming next, and even though he was happy that his bosses had a good marriage full of love and…other stuff…he didn't need to see any more of it than he already had.
Jed waited until Charlie left before greeting her, "Hiya, sweet knees."
"Funny you should call me that," she answered with a smile, flopping onto their bed.
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Because my sweet knees are bare and in need of your attention."
Jed leaned back in his chair with a grin. "Is that so?"
"Yep. But just think of my dismay when CJ told me that you took far too much time shaking hands and greeting those ordinary Americans who love you so much, and that's why you're over an hour late getting back on the plane."
"What can I say? My public loves me."
"They sure do, Jed, but your public isn't ready to jump you the moment you walk in the door." Abbey sat up in bed and curled her knees up to her chest. It was starting to get a little cold. She could use some warming up.
"Oh I dunno…I've gotten some pretty interesting offers from my constituents over the years," he teased.
"Well go right ahead, Mr. President. Because I've got some offers pending from a very attractive pool of medical professionals, should you ever fail to live up to my expectations," she fired back.
"That's not funny, Abbey," he told her in a warning tone. She knew how those infidelity jokes got under his skin. Not that he ever distrusted her in any way. But she was an extremely attractive woman, and men could get the most awful ideas from women half as flirtatious as she.
"Oh shut up. Yes it is." She hiccupped. "How far away are you?"
Jed chuckled. "What was that?"
"I asked how far a-hic-way are you?"
"Abigail Bartlet, have you been drinking?"
"Yes. Someone brought up a bottle of French chardonnay that had been given as a thank you for…something." She was now lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling and waving her free hand in a vague gesture.
"So you opened it?"
"Well I wanted us to drink it together, but you're the one who had to be fawned over for an extra hour, Jethro."
"Don't call me that," he growled.
She rolled over onto her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows and kicking her legs lazily behind her. "I think I will. Now answer me. How far away are you?"
"We're over West Virginia. Shouldn't be more than an hour."
Abbey sighed melodramatically. "I'll be asleep by then."
"Well I'll just have to wake you up."
"Don't you dare. You're the one who couldn't get his act together. You don't get rewarded for that."
"You were gonna reward me?" Jed asked, grinning widely.
"Well it was really a reward for both of us. Tonight is the first night in I can't remember how long when we're both done with work and in the same place before midnight. And I checked with Debbie about your schedule tomorrow and you don't have anything until after nine. Which means we could stay up late having fun and sleep in and even have a quick bout of fun in the morning."
He laughed. "Fun? That's what we're calling it now?"
"It doesn't matter what I call it now because neither of us is getting any." Her teasing tone had turned very quickly into one of disappointment.
Jed paused for a moment, thinking. He got an idea and smiled. "What would you be doing right now if I'd gotten home on time?"
"Same thing I'm already doing. I'd be lying on our bed, naked and drinking wine. Although the wine is gone and I'm getting cold now."
He pressed his lips together to keep from groaning audibly. She was teasing him. And there wasn't a thing he could do about it. "I could hang up, you know."
"So could I, but neither of us will until we have to, so why pretend?"
They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Charlie came back in. "Mr. President? We're beginning our final decent. You're going to have to hang up the phone and put on your seatbelt."
Jed nodded and returned his attention to his phone call. "Babe, I was wrong."
"Well that's nice to hear. What did you do this time?"
"No, honey, about how far away we were. We're beginning our final decent. I gotta hang up the phone. I'll see you soon. Don't go to sleep!"
"I love you," she said sweetly.
"I love you, too. And I'll show you how much in twenty minutes."
As he hung up the phone, Jed could hear her laughing. He was loathed to cut it off. Abbey's laugh was one of the most beautiful and strangely erotic sounds in the world. Though if she was a little buzzed, there was sure to be lots of it tonight. He grinned and fastened his seatbelt. This was going to be a fun night for the Bartlets.