A change of mind

Forks had always been a strange place, always. When we got here the first time, back when I was a newborn vampire, I could feel it in all of my new, heightened senses. In a way, it felt like the town was a supernatural being itself, alive but deadly, and definitely intriguing. Maybe us vampires and shapeshifters didn't spring from here, but gathered here because we felt like this town could understand us, and maybe eventually accept us. The process of acceptance would probably happen a lot faster if we could get along with the wolves, but our petty fights set us back centuries each time, by having to cover up and exclude ourselves from society. Luckily, math suggests that we will make up one day, since we have eternal life, and when you think about it, all we have is each other.

I had almost completely lost hope in this idea of peace between the species; but that all changed the day I met Bella. Who would've guessed that a dull girl with a fetish for overprotective guys (obviously developed from rarely meeting that I-always-carry-a-gun-father of hers), and a habit of making those guys falling for her, would be the one to take the first step to an interspecies relationship? I'm sure you have heard the stories about vampires who have relationships with humans, and they always ends with either the human getting turned or killed. Every vampire tries it sometime during his or her lifetime because you simply can't resist; the combination of the human's admiration and her blood streaming just a layer of skin away from you is something special, alright. With that said, I feel ashamed to admit that this was how I thought of my relationship with Bella in the beginning, but you can't blame me! It is a natural process, and how was I supposed to know that she would later become my best friend, but most importantly, the one to introduce me to the love of my afterlife?

Thanks to Bella's open mind (or crazy mind, depending on your take on the definition of 'crazy') and, if I may say so, sluttyness, she managed to maintain a romantic relationship with both me, Edward the vampire, and him, Jacob the werewolf, for several years, which of course led to a lot of heated discussions. One day she won, but oddly enough, as it turned out later, so did I. "Please, we'll just try it one time!" She pleaded and tried to make herself look like a sad puppy. This was a power move, and a cruel one, since she knew that I love drinking the blood of puppies. "Just one time, and then I will leave him. Come on, Sparkles, what are you so afraid of?" Bella and I had just been having sex for a couple of months when she started asking me to consider having a threesome, and include Jacob! Ironic how she asked me what I was afraid of, when she should be the one worried. She, if anyone, knew how wild Jake is in bed. "Fine!" I exclaimed at last. "If that's what it will take for you to get over him, then I'll do it. Do him… I'm regretting this already" I said, shaking my head. Bella, however, was overjoyed and danced off to ask Jake, who surprisingly said yes. Well, looking back at it I'm not surprised, but I certainly was back then. It occurs to me now: was he promised the same deal as I that day? In that case Bella definitely got what she deserved, especially since she wasn't planning on leaving either one of us.

The day with two big Ds came, and I wasn't nervous at all. That was, until he walked through the door. Either I hadn't noticed earlier how handsome and muscular he was, or he had gotten better looking since the last time I saw him. "Hello, Edward" Jake greeted me, with a smirk that earlier had made me want to punch his face in, put now instead made me feel like I was about to melt through the floorboards. We had gotten together in a small cottage by a lake in the woods, so far away from everything and everyone that an apocalypse could have started and we would've never known. "How do you like my secret, uhm… hide-out place?" Jake continued while stroking his hand through his thick, black hair. A strand of hair fell down on his forehead, and I had to fight the impulse to reach out and correct it. "It's ok, I guess. Nice location, but poorly decorated" I answered and hid my smile by looking away. The only furniture in the house was a king-size bed and a chair. By the look of it, they were both brand new. Had he possibly bought these just for this occasion? Probably not, but the thought tickled my mind. Bella, whom I had forgotten was there, embarrassingly enough, turned to me and said "What did you say?" with a tired look. Only then did I realize that Jake hadn't said a word to me, but I had been reading his mind. He burst into a laugh that made me understand what humans mean when they say they feel 'bubbly' inside. Bella just stood there and sort of smiled, which is her equivalency to laughing until she cries, so I smiled too. When Jake's laughter had echoed out, we just stood there in silence for a couple of seconds. Bella would be the one to break the silence. "Both of you take off your shirts." she said in the same voice she always speaks with: fragile, tortured, and as she saw the world through a grey layer. I used to think it was hot, the way she talked, but definitely not as hot as the ripped miracle of a being that I now had in front of me. Somewhere up in the sky, a cloud disappeared and suddenly the sun shone through the window. The light hit his body and with a halo surrounding him he looked even more angelic. If I had to breathe to survive, I probably would have died. So they wouldn't realize that I had been staring, I took my shirt off using my super speed. Now, Jake was the one who did the staring. I hadn't realized that I too was standing in the sunlight. "Wow, he is literally hotter than the sun" I heard Jake think and ignored his misuse of the word 'literally' and answered his compliment with a smile. Jake must have realized that I heard what he was thinking because he blushed and looked at Bella instead. "I want you two to start" she said, trying to sound seductive, but failing. At least to my ears, because all I could think of now was Jacob's beautiful body. The same way Jacob leaps forward when he is about to turn into a wolf he leaped toward me, and before I could react, his lips were on mine and his tongue were in my mouth. At first I tried to hold back, focusing on that smell of his that I have a natural hatred for, but as soon as the rough skin on his fingers touched my cold and, not to brag, rock hard body, my animalistic instincts took over. This time I leaped his way, pushing him up against the wall. I didn't have to be careful with him as I had to with Bella, I could even bite him if I wanted to, and I wanted to. I tried biting his lips, and tongue, and then moving on to kissing and biting his neck. One time I thought I had hurt him because a tortured sound left his lips, but simultaneously I could hear his thoughts going "Don't stop" repeatedly. Jacob grabbed me and turned us around so now I was the one pushed up against the wall. The only thing I didn't enjoy about this was that when I looked up I got eye contact with Bella, watching us. I think that if I wasn't so completely occupied by what Jake was doing then this would have been the moment when I would have realized that I was gay. Although, the first clue should have really been that I sparkle.

Days and months passed by, and either Bella was in denial, or she really didn't notice Jake and I sneaking off time after time to meet up (or 'meat up' as we called it) in his cottage. At first I was so enchanted by the great sex we were having that I didn't notice that what I really liked was spending time with him. Our conversations were always of much deeper meaning than those I had with Bella, and he could always make me laugh, no matter what. We completed each other in an extraordinary way; we were ice and fire, maturity and youth, in many ways dead and so very alive.

One rainy day I was waiting for Jacob in the cottage, and when he came he was soaking wet. Also, he was on crutches with scars all over his face. "I was in a fight with some vamps last night." he explained while looking sad. "I think I might not be able to, you know... today. I'm kind of sore" he said while looking even sadder. "You could have just called me." I answered. "It must have been hard getting out here, looking like that". Jacob shifted his eyes from me to the floor. "Yes, but I wanted to see you." he thought, but didn't say out loud. When he saw my face light up with a smile he blushed, but then walked over to me and sat down next to me on the bed. We didn't realize how long we had been sitting there until moonlight hit my face through the window many hours later. "Oh, no! I was supposed to meet up with Bella." I said and sighed heavily. "We should tell her." Jake suddenly bursted out. "Tell her?" "About us! I'm serious about this, Edward!" I loved it when he said my name. "I don't want to keep this a secret anymore, and I want us to have a real relationship! With dates and everything!" he continued, and I couldn't stop myself from kissing him. When he broke the kiss to breath I said, "I would like that too.".

I wouldn't say that Bella was ecstatically happy about us, but she understood. And, that girl never gets happy about anything so I couldn't really see the difference. My family was mostly just angry with me; angry that I was in love with a wolf; angry that I hadn't told them I was gay. I tried to explain to them that this was news to me too, and after a while they had accepted it. At least they were never angry with me for being gay, like some of Jacob's friends were. In a way, our struggle to out our relationship brought us closer than I have ever been with a person, and maybe that is because he isn't a person. He is a shapeshifter. He is my shapeshifter. I have never been the one to believe in higher powers, or faith, but something definitely brought us together for a purpose. My theory is that it was Forks, the town itself that did it. Tired of watching the fights between the species, it turned Jake and I into a link that may one day be the one to finally unite us. Then the species will live happily ever after, but I don't long for that anymore. I am happy right now.