Okay to Cry
There was a full moon in the sky, it shown through the cave opening I looked out at the open sky and sniffled. I leaned back against the cave wall and sighed. How much longer would it have to be like this? All the running, the hiding, living in fear. I didn't want it anymore.
I looked down at the flock sleeping on the damp cave floor. Angel was snuggled up next to Gazzy who had thrown his arm out in his sleep. Iggy laid on his side his back to me and the wind. Nudge had her arm for a pillow and she was muttering in her sleep. I didn't see Fang though. I frowned and looked around the cave. I turned around to see his dark eyes staring into mine.
I gasp and stepped back and looked into his grin, "Don't do that." I said. Good, lord did he really have to develop his invisibility? He shrugged and walked to stand beside me. We stared into the wind for a long time. Just me and him.
"Penny for your thoughts," he said after a while. I looked at him and looked at me waiting for an answer.
"Like you even have a penny to give me," I said finally. He lightly shoved me with his shoulder and I felt my arm hairs stand on end. I couldn't think this way. If it didn't work…the flock. God, we'd be torn in two. Just like when we saved Ari.
I looked at him half of his face in the moonlight, "Ari." I said it with a straight face but as soon as I looked away I could feel the tears forming. I brushed them away with the back of my hand. I'd cried too many times in front of him lately.
I felt his hand on my shoulder. Only then did I realize I was shivering. He squeezed my shoulder and stepped closer, "It's okay to cry Max. You don't have to hold it in."
"Like your one to talk." I shot back. Why was a picking a fight? There was nothing to fight about. He didn't say anything in his Fang-like way.
"You don't have to act strong for me, Max," Fang said, I could feel his chest against my wings. I shook my head not wanting to listen.
"I do for them," I looked at the flock, shocked at how hard it was to choke out me words.
"They're asleep Max," Fang said. I looked up at his face which was blurred through my tears. He didn't say anything but he looked so…sad. That did it. I push myself against him and cried. I hung onto him and cried my eyes out. At first he seemed stiff and stunned as if he didn't think it would work but then his arms came around me and they held me in place. After that I don't remember the only thing that mattered was me and him.
When she turned around and I saw her face it just killed me. She was crying. I'd seen her cry sure but, not like this. She just looked helpless and alone. But, she wasn't alone I was right there with her. When she held onto me I just…I don't even know. I guess I was happy.
Sure I wasn't happy she was crying but, I hadn't hugged her in a long time. It felt good to have her right there with her head on my shoulder and my hand on her head. I could feel her shivering and I held her tighter. I knew it was impossible that someone could take her away now, we were in a cave on a mountain for Christ's sake, but that didn't stop me from not letting go. After a while I noticed she was kind of asleep. She fell asleep standing up.
I looked down at her and I scooped her up in my arms. I walked into the cave and set her down. Her face had streaks from her crying and her hair was in her face. I tucked her hair behind her ear and lightly kissed her forehead before sitting beside her. I fell asleep and the last thing I remember was Max putting her head on my shoulder.